Chapter Six

            They drove in silence. Bri had shoved her backpack between herself and Shane, hoping it would help her mind imagine distance. Images kept popping into her, but they weren’t fearful images of Chad coming after her, like she supposed they should have been. Instead, she kept seeing herself wrapped in Shane’s comforting embrace, crying her heart out to him as he promised to make everything better. She almost laughed out loud.

            Well look who wants to be a damsel in distress, she scorned herself.

            Glancing at Shane out of the corner of her eye, she sighed inwardly. Like I have any right to drag Shane into this whole mess, anyway. I should probably just wait until he falls asleep and then leave and go…where?

            Shane was right. She couldn’t risk going back to her place. If Chad woke up, there’d be nothing she could do. If she called the police, there’d be questions afterwards and then they would find out she was living on her own and dump her in a foster home, despite how pointless it was since she was only two months away from turning eighteen. If she showed up at Rayne’s unannounced, her friend would have questions, too. She could always come up with some bullshit, teary-eyed story, but that would probably involve hurting Shane, which was something she was trying to avoid.

            “Don’t even think about sneaking out in the middle of the night,” Shane warned as he pulled into the driveway of what she supposed was his house. What was he? A mind reader?

            “I was planning to,” she retorted.

            “Yah, right.”

            He opened the door and Bri noticed the house was empty.

            “So where are your folks?” she asked pointedly.

            “At the hospital. My dad took a couple of bullets the other day. It’s really nothing compared to what he’s had before, but mom still likes to stay at the hospital overnight whenever he’s there for whatever reason.”

            “Oh,” was all she could come up with. She had known Shane’s dad was a cop, but she had never really thought much about it. They way he seemed to casual and unconcerned about his dad being shot was a bit…unnerving.

            The hallway that led from the front door to the stairs was lined with photographs, mainly of Shane and his older brother, who had graduated from high school a couple years ago. She paused at one, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.

            “Is this you?” she asked, pointing. The picture was of a little boy of about five, dressed up like a miniature knight, complete with plastic shoulder guards, helmet and sword.

            Shane glanced at the picture. “Yah,” he muttered.

            Without bothering to elaborate, he continued up the stairs and Bri followed. They entered a room and Bri took a moment to appreciate the décor. Sea shore blues and honey wood were the main settings with a bit of white here and there. A double bed was positioned in the middle of one wall, a desk beside it. It was masculine, but with a youthfulness to it that made it appropriate for a teenage boy.

            “Bathroom’s that way if you want to change,” Shane said, jerking his thumb at a door adjoining the bedroom.

            Bri entered without a word and quickly changed into her flannel pyjamas. When she came back out, Shane was spread out on the bed in boxers and an old t-shirt. He looked up at her, moving only his eyes, his head still resting on the pillow.

            “You going to tell me who that guy was back there?” he asked no emotion readable in his voice, though his eyes were hard and his jaw tense.

            “He’s my mom’s ex-boyfriend.”

            “You told me that already,” he reminded her. “What you didn’t tell me was what you meant by your parents being ‘technically’ together.”

            Bri chewed on her lip, wondering how little of the truth she could get away with…or how much deceit.

            As if reading her mind, Shane grumbled, “Don’t try to lie to me, Bri.”

            “I wasn’t going to,” she snapped, then shut her mouth tight. He was only trying to help, after all. No need to bite the guy’s head off, no matter how sorely tempted she was sometimes. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never told anyone about…any of this, before.”

            “Should I be honoured to be the first?” he drawled sarcastically.

            “No, but you could make this a little easier,” she replied testily.

            “Quit stalling and cut to the chase,” he told her, standing up so suddenly, she jumped. For a moment, blue and hazel eyes clashed and held. Bri suddenly found her knees feeling as if they were going to cave in. Shane’s eyes were blazing with anger and indignation on the surface, but she could see the hurt beneath it. It scared her. There was no other word for what she felt. It scared her because she couldn’t remember ever being so close to someone that she had the ability to hurt them like this.

            Faltering, she took an unconscious step back. “Al – Alright,” she stammered. “But I…I don’t know what to tell you first.”

            “Are your parents still married?”

            “Yes.”

            “But they don’t live together?”

            Bri shook her head.

            “So where does your dad live?”

            “I don’t know. He ran out on us when I was twelve. That’s why we moved.”

            “And you never told anyone that your dad left?”

            She shook her head again and glanced up to find the anger gone from Shane’s face. Instead, he frowned as he reached out to smooth a hand over her hair.

            “You were only twelve,” he whispered. “How could you have…” He let the sentence trail off, drifting into silence.

            Bri bristled, suddenly feeling the need to defend herself. “I was scared and stupid, okay? I kept telling myself that he was coming back because I was too weak to admit to myself that he was gone. And you know what? I still am to weak. I’ve pretended like I had the perfect life for the past five years and chances are I’m not gonna stop anytime soon.”

            “Bri –” he started, but she cut him off.

            “It’s not as if I like lying, you know. Because I don’t! I hate it. I hate myself for it. I hate my parents for making me do it, but I know I shouldn’t blame them. It’s my fault they left. It’s completely my fault, so I have to deal with it because I have only myself to blame. I’m the one who wasn’t good enough for Daddy. I’m the one who drove him away and made Mom miserable to the point where she went out and got herself a new junk boyfriend every other week. I’m the one who made us a burden on Grandma and Grandpa. I’m the one who –”

            “Stop it, Bri. Just stop it,” he yelled, grabbing hold of her and bringing her close to him. His hand stroked the length of her hair. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered soothingly against her forehead. “It’s not your fault.”

            “Then why aren’t they here?” she asked brokenly, her eyes welling up with tears. “Why weren’t they hounding you with stupid questions when you came over yesterday? Why weren’t they peeking through the curtains tonight when we came back? Why didn’t my dad fix the porch light with an extra bright bulb just to make sure we didn’t get up to anything? Why…”

            The list went on and on and Bri knew she was blubbering now, but she couldn’t help it. Everything was spilling out of her lips of its own accord and she couldn’t hold back. She told him about how she and Cherie had moved in with her grandparents after David had left. How her mother had taken up dating any guy she came across. How her grandparents had died. How Cherie had run away with Chad. When she was finally done, she felt limp and drained, as if her bones had simply disappeared and she was just a rag doll in Shane’s arms.

            He carried her over to the bed and laid her down, kissing her forehead gently before lying down beside her. He propped her head on his arm, encircling her waist with the other. She felt safe in his cocoon of protection and snuggled closer, absorbing his warmth.

            “Go to sleep,” he murmured as feathered kisses over her eyelids and she found she couldn’t do anything else.

A.N. Oooh. It’s finally happened. Characters got a bit out of control, so sorry if the mood swings are confusing. But then again, it’s a bit more realistic that way. Mood swings and all… ‘Roller coaster feelings’ as my Religion teacher says. And the picture of Shane dressed up as a knight will have some significance in the future, so you can’t call it a violation of artistic unity.