I was just looking at the top of a chatroom.

If you click on 'People,' and look down, it says 'Invite a Buddy.'

Makes one wonder stuff, and if it doesn't, it makes me wonder. I didn't have many friends once upon a time. There was a space of about three years where I pretty much had no one. I value what friends I have now. I don't want to make stupid mistakes again, and lose them all. Now, I'm swamped with them.

Know what though? I can still count on one hand the number of friends' houses that I've been to. One or two might not even be counted as friends, since I'm so distant, but what do you expect?

A good three years of my life was wasted alone. I don't even think that my family knew what was going on. I've been alone a long time. It was from 3rd to 5th grade. Young.

I hate being alone.

I turn on the music very loud when no one's home. It drowns out the silence.

I'd turn it on right now if my little sister wasn't sleeping on the couch behind me. It's nice to hear her shift in her sleep.

I've always seen my friends fight amongst each other, and I've always kept distant enough that I wouldn't be involved, but close enough that they would come to me, and ask for advice. I would calmly say that I didn't want to get in the middle of them. It sounds like a cliche line, right? But it's true. I hate it when friends fight. I don't want to lose either friends.

But now, I'm in the middle of a fight myself. I got too close.

So, what does it mean to be a friend? A companion?

A buddy?

I honestly don't know, and that button doesn't want to tell me.

*-*-*