"Hey, Gwen. I hope I'm not interrupting your break."
"Russell."
"What are you watching?"
"Disney."
"Aren't you a little old for Disney?"
"You only get old when you start thinking you're too old for Disney."
"Look, I need you to help me out. See those guys over there? No, don't look. They bet me that I couldn't get you to kiss me inside of a minute from walking over here - Hmph!"
"Why are you looking so surprised? Isn't that what you came over here for? Are you going to split your winnings with me?"
"You bet. There's more to you than meets the eye."
"There always has been. Not quite the placid cow everyone thinks?"
"I never called you a cow."
"Glad to hear it."
"Would it bother you if I said that you have the most engaging smile I've seen in days?"
"Is that a line?"
"No, it's the truth. I'm just using it for a line. Hey, I was about to go for coffee, would you like to join me?"
"I'd like that except I don't drink coffee."
"No coffee? No espresso? No cappuccino? No latte? Nothing?"
"Nope."
"What planet are you from?"
"That's a common question. I'm still working that one out. I've got it narrowed down to a couple of planets orbiting Alpha Centauri, though."
"A smart ass, huh? You and I will get along fine."
"Your friends are waving at you."
"Hey, I'm busy here. What? Damn, I forgot about that meeting. Gwen, would you like to go do something tomorrow?"
"Sure."
"What would you like to do?"
"Surprise me."
"Ooo, a challenge. All right, I will."
"What should I wear?"
"Come dressed for a sport."
"Spectator or participant?"
"Participant."
"Uh-oh. You just want to have an excuse to laugh at me."
"I'd never laugh at you."
"Sure you will. I run, I work out with weights, but I don't do well with team sports. People end up screaming at me. I hate being screamed at. You're not going to scream at me, are you?"
"Uh, of course not."
"Liar."
"I might scream with you, but never at you."
"Go to your meeting."

"It's a horse."
"Don't you like horses?"
"As a concept, sure."
"So you don't know how to ride?"
"I know how to sit. I even sat on a horse once while it was walking."
"You've lived a deprived life."
"Don't think of me as deprived. Think of me as open to new experiences."
"Well, I'm gonna teach you how to ride a horse."
"Are you a patient man? Because coordination is not my strong suit."
"Not really, but for you, love, I'll have the patience of Job. How do you feel when I call you love?"
"I like it."
"I mean, what do you think? Do you think I mean it or is it just a word, like if I called you baby?"
"I thought it was just a word. Isn't that how you mean it?"
"Yeah. Mostly. Here, let me help you up. Sorry, love, it's -"
"Please don't say it's too big to miss."
"You have a beautiful ass."
"You know, I think you're the first man to ever tell me that."
"I have a hard time believing that."
"Oh, I've been paid compliments on my eyes, my legs, my smile and my voice, but I think you're the first to comment on my keister."
"Well, it's a beautiful keister."
"No, just cute."
"Men like cute. Cute, adorable, cuddly, they think it's sexy."
"You think I'm sexy?"
"Don't you know you're sexy?"
"No. I don't think that's something a woman knows for herself, at least not this woman. You can look in a mirror and say, 'Yeah, I look good', or you know when you feel sexy or not, but to know if you really are sexy? I think that's something only a man can tell her."
"Well, this man is telling you."
"Thanks."
"Now that you're up there, we'll start the lesson. Don't worry, if you fall off I'm right here to pick you up."
"Unless you're between me and the ground, I'm not reassured. Besides I'm not going to fall."
"You look like you're scared to death of falling off."
"I am."
"A horse is like any other animal. They can sense fear. If you don't relax and take charge, he'll be leading you by the nose instead of you leading him. Maybe it will help if I get on with you for awhile. Now relax. Relax."
"How can I relax when you keep nuzzling me like that?"
"Who, me?"
"I think I'll be safer with just the horse."

"So, how's your butt feeling?"
"My butt is just fine, thank-you."
"Liar."
"Sadist."
"I had a nice time."
"Me, too."
"May I see you again?"
"Please."
"I'm going to kiss you now."
"Please do."
"Wow."
"Wow is right."
"Are you open to a basketball game? I have tickets to a game on Friday."
"Sure, I haven't been to a live basketball game in a long time."
"Live? As opposed to a dead one?"
"Live as opposed to televised, smart ass."
"What about Saturday?"
"What about it?"
"A friend of mine is a playwright and he has a play opening. I promised him I'd go and I'd like for you to go with me. We can have a nice dinner before the play."
"I'd love that."
"One more kiss before I go. I'll call you later."

"Some enchanted evening you will see a stranger, you will see a stranger across a crowded room - Holy cow!"
"Does that mean you like the dress?"
"Uh. Uh."
"I've dreamed since I was fourteen of walking into a room wearing a dress like this and seeing a stunned expression like the one you're wearing now."
"You're a little devil."
"Not really, I'm just Cinderella and Eliza Doolittle finally getting to the ball."
"Who am I, Prince Charming or Henry Higgins?"
"Who do you want to be?"
"Forget Henry Higgins. He didn't even kiss Audrey Hepburn. I'm not that big of a moron. You know, I'm a little mad at you right now."
"Why?"
"Because I've had my eye on you for a while now. No, really, I have. But I wanted us to become friends first and then work up to the right moment to make my move. Now I'm afraid you'll just think I'm on the make because you look so beautiful tonight."
"So why don't you wait?"
"I'm afraid of all the other guys who will think you're beautiful, too."
"Maybe our first two dates can count as friendship."
"Sooo, we can move onto the next phase?"
"Maybe."

"Donna showed me the memos you sent out about our project. In one you'd be busting my chops, the next you'd be singing my praises."
"Well, I try to be fair."
"You sure didn't pull any punches."
"Yes I did."
"Ouch."
"I'm glad you don't mind an honest opinion. Oh, here's our food."
"You are the only person I've ever seen eat that with gravy."
"Have you ever tried it this way?"
"Are you nuts?"
"Come on, don't be a baby, taste it. Chew. Swallow. Now you can tell me you don't like it."
"Actually, it's not bad. What?"
"I just love being right."
"We'll probably have a few minutes before the play starts to go into the piano bar. But if they start playing Manilow, I'm outa there."
"Why does everyone make jokes about Barry Manilow? Do you know how many number one songs he's had? How many awards he's won? How many records he's sold? And they weren't all bought by some nerdy guy in a leisure suit."
"I dare you to stand up and announce to this room that you're a Barry Manilow fan."
"What?"
"Yeah, I thought so."
"I'll go one better."
"What the hell? What are you -?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. Actually, it is a confession. Since the first moment I heard 'Mandy', I have been a Barry Manilow fan. I have to say that, for the most part, I love his music. Thank-you for your attention."
"God, I love you."
"I'm sure you say that to all the girls. Now could you help me down? It was easy getting on the table. I'm having some trouble getting off."

"Gwen, I want you to meet James."
"It's nice to meet you. I really enjoyed your play."
"Well, thank-you, sweetie, you are such a doll, and quite the delicious morsel, I have to say."
"Hey! She's my date, you old lech."
"Don't worry about it. I'm gay, I can get by with hitting on other men's women. What a lovely laugh. She has a sense of humor, Russell, you'd better hang on to this one. Well, I better go mingle some more. Thank-you both for coming. It means a lot to me. Bye now."
"Thanks, Gwen."
"For what?"
"For not getting all huffy and puffy. I've been out with some women who didn't know how to take James."
"Sounds like you've been out with the wrong kind of woman."
"Maybe you're right."
"Oh, don't get me wrong, I can get huffy and puffy with the best of them, but a little hand-kissing by a playwright hardly qualifies."
"Give me an example of something that does."
"Well, when someone treats me like I'm stupid."
"Is that a warning?"
"You bet."
"Fair enough. Now I have a warning for you. If I don't get you alone, in some place quiet, I'm going to lose my mind."
"Why don't you take me home?"
"Why don't I?"

"Do you think 'Holy shit' is too strong? What about, 'I've been waiting for you my whole life'?"
"How about 'Shut up and kiss me'?"
"Yes, ma'am. My God, you're vibrating."
"I'm either about to embarrass myself or scare us both."
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No."
"Good."
"It's just that I haven't done this in a while."
"It's like riding a bicycle."
"I haven't done that in a while either."
"You want me."
"Very much. Do you want me?"
"So much so I'm about to jump out of my skin."
"Then shut up and kiss me."
"Yes, ma'am."

"Gwen, are you all right?"
"Yes. It's just - I've never experienced anything that emotionally powerful."
"Haven't you had sex?"
"Not like that, not like much of anything. The other times weren't, well, let's say that tonight was my first orgasm with someone else in the room. Hey, I'm alright. It's just that my imagination didn't prepare me for that kind of intensity. I shouldn't have said anything, now you'll think I'm fragile."
"I don't think that."
"Good, I hope that means you'll be around for awhile."
"We've got all night."

"Hey."
"Hey."
"You snore."
"That's got to be the most romantic thing a woman can hear first thing in the morning."
"Hey, I'm a damn romantic guy."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"You haven't even kissed me yet."
"Let me remedy that. I'm glad we started as friends."
"Me, too. It makes it easier to be close to you."
"I had good instincts then."
"Yes, you did."
"You're really not used to this, are you?"
"No."
"Then I'm kind of like the prince waking up Sleeping Beauty."
"You're a romantic."
"Guilty."
"Why are you staring at me? God, am I drooling?"
"No. I'm always surprised by what can come out of your mouth."
"Is that a good thing or bad?"
"It's the best thing. I'm staring because I've waited all my life for a woman to look at me the way you are now."
"How am I looking at you?"
"Like I'm a dream come true. Like you can't believe your luck."
"You are and I can't. I hope you are a nice guy, because if you're not, I'm in trouble."
"Why?"
"Because of this face, this beautiful, masculine, incredibly expressive face. You look at me in certain ways and I'm in danger of turning into an icky, sticky puddle of goo."
"Ooo, can I look?"
"You've got a dirty mind."
"Best kind to have. So you're saying all I have to do is look at you and you're putty in my hands?"
"Are you going to take advantage of me?"
"Every chance I get."

End