-- Age of Innocence By: Ariel Parts 1-10 --

I'll never forget the first time I met Dane Lewis. It was my first day at Brisbane University, the college I'd wanted to go to for as long as I'd known colleges existed, and I was unpacking in my dorm room, reveling in my newfound freedom from family and friends.

Nearly my entire family had insisted on driving over with me for my first day and I'd had to endure fits of parental hysteria, an older brother who kept trying to give me tips on how to find a girl, and a younger sister who kept telling me she hoped I'd never come back home so she could have my room. I agreed with her completely, which only made my mum sob louder.

I had barely managed to stuff the tribe out the door, get my luggage in, and make sure my family didn't accidentally drive off in my car instead of theirs. I was just starting to relax.

Then he walked in.

He was a few inches taller than me and had a somber look about him like he'd be the last person in the world to laugh at a joke.

"Hello," I said cheerfully, holding out my hand. "My name's Toby. You must be my room mate."

He nodded and took my hand. "Hi," he said. "My name's Dane. I'm gay."

I hated him instantly.

--

"W-what?" I stuttered, blushing furiously. Inside, I was starting to seethe.

I'm certainly no homophobe, but I considered sexuality an extremely important issue. I'd been struggling with mine for the past five years, trying to think of a way to know for sure and a way to tell my friends and family if it turned out I was gay.

Then Dane stepped into my life and treated it like a casual fact. He might as well have walked in and said, 'My name's Dane and I'm tall.' How dare he? How DARE he walk in and, in a matter of seconds, upset an inner balance I had struggled for years to achieve.

"I'm gay," he said. "If that bothers you you should find someone to trade dorms with pretty quickly. Does it bother you?"

I shook my head and turned around quickly to face my luggage. "No. You just surprised me."

"Okay." I could almost sense his slight smile behind me. "We should get along just fine then." He paused, and when I turned to look at him he was looking back at me thoughtfully. "Are you.?"

"No!"

He cocked an eyebrow at me, faintly surprised.

"No," I repeated with a bit less vehemence. "I'm perfectly straight, just open-minded."

Dane shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that, mate. Need any help unpacking?"

"No thank you. I can handle it."

He nodded shortly and walked out the door, calling back at me, "I'm gonna be down at the student union with a few friends. Stop by when you get done if you want to."

As soon as he walked out I sat down on my small bed and put my head in my hands. I was now convinced I was going to die of stress within the next year.

--

Part 2

Not the best way to start out a new year. Damn Brisbane University and their little "gay boy, straight roommate" rule. I hadn't had much of a problem with it the last year. They'd stuck me in with one homophobe after another until the last one agreed to move in with his girlfriend and pretend he was still in the dorm so I could have it to myself.

I sighed as I sat down at the bar beside Branden. Brandy had been my best friend since last year, one of those gay men who is totally not ashamed of it and not nearly as stereotypical as he pretends to be. He was a pretty damn good friend, actually.

However, he shared an issue with most of Brisbane Uni's other gay students called The Curse. It basically meant that any gay student who shared a room with a straight student was doomed to be attracted to them. I'd never experienced it.

"Why the moping, Danny Boy?" His brown eyes were unforgivably cheerful as he smiled at me. I knew I would never hear the end of this.

"I'm cursed."

Brandy gasped, instantly understanding my intention. "Jesus Christ must be rolling over in his grave! Oh how the mighty hath fallen." He leaned toward me, interest sparked. "So what's this curse of yours look like?"

I stared down at the bar. "Not quite six foot, curly blond hair and blue eyes. Seems like a cheerful kind of guy. Friendly. Nice voice. Adamantly heterosexual."

Banden gave me a funny look. "From what you just told me, Justin Timberlake has just enrolled in our uni."

I laughed. "Okay, so if Justin Timberlake grew his hair out, dyed it a lighter shade of blond, and suddenly became attractive. yeah."

"No one is more attractive than Justin Timberlake."

"Except you and me, right?"

"Right."

We relaxed back into the natural order of things as though Toby had never happened.

--

I had a lot more unpacking to do. I still had to take a shower. I wanted to go to bed early.

Despite all this I wound up standing outside the Student Union in a pair of tight black jeans and my favorite blue dress shirt, which had apparently materialized on my body from my suitcase free of wrinkles, since I didn't remember ironing them.

Inside the Union was only a dull form of loud other than the occasional sound of a squealing girl seeing her best friend for the first time in three months. I spotted Dane at the bar and walked over, laying my hand on the stool beside him. "Mind if I join you?"

Dane looked at me calmly. "No. Not a bit." He gestured to the plain looking young man sitting on his left. "I'd like you to meet my best friend."

The other boy reached across the bar to take my hand. "That would be me. Branden Wesley Anderson at your service, but everyone calls me Brandy. You are.?"

"Toby." I said firmly. "Toby Andrew Clark. Pleased to meet you."

Branden turned my hand palm down and looked at me curiously. "A silver ring? What's that from? Girlfriend?"

I blushed. "Yeah. Her name was Kara. We went out a couple years, got engaged, and broke up about a week ago."

The boy let go of my hand. "Sorry. May I ask why you broke up?"

"I wanted to go to college here," I shrugged. "And she wanted to go to college in England. I didn't think the distance would work out."

"Smart man," Dane said. "Long distance relationships are hard, no matter how much you love the person." He stared off at a random spot on the wall and I gave him a strange look.

"Snap out of it, Danny," Branden said suddenly. "I bet your roommate is dying of boredom over here. He probably has all sorts of moving in stuff to do, right?" He turned to look at me. "I bet you've got all sorts of things you need Dane to help you with." He reached behind Dane and poked me in the side, giving me the 'Keep Him Busy' look.

"Oh yeah," I said. "I still haven't finished unpacking. I just ran down here to take a break and get your help unpacking my. television! It's really heavy. I don't think I can carry it by myself." Inwardly I winced. The television was actually fairly small, but the only other thing I hadn't unpacked was my Star Wars collection, and there was no way I'd let some guy I barely knew touch that.

"Yeah," Dane said, getting up. "Okay. Want a ride back to the dorm or are you going to walk again?"

"Ride, please. The walk over was pretty tiring and I think I'm going to need my energy for packing."

Dane nodded and put a hand on Branden's shoulder. "See ya tomorrow, Brandy. Wouldn't be the first day of the year without you. Meet you by the fountain?"

"Yeah," Branden said cheerfully. "See ya tomorrow, Dane." He waved at me. "Bye, Toby."

I waved back and followed Dane out the door.

-- Part 3

Maybe the ride back to the dorm wasn't that important. We were both silent the entire time, but looking back on it now I think it might have been an important moment because by the time we got back the silence had become more comfortable.

As we unpacked Toby's stuff he looked up at me from the other side of a cardboard box. "So am I going to be seeing Branden around here a lot this year?"

I gave him a vaguely surprised look. "Yeah. Brandy'll probably be around a little bit, though if you want to I could just go to his place instead of coming here."

Toby blushed. "No. Just. tell me when you guys are going to be doing something here."

I nodded. "Got it." 'Okay. Warn the straight man when the two homos want to hang out. Lovely.'

We continued to pack silently for several minutes before Toby spoke again. "So how long have you guys been together?"

"What guys?"

"You and Branden," he said as though he was embarrassed to ask. "When did you meet him?"

"Last year. First day of school." I shrugged. "We were both standing around next to the fountain like the lost little freshmen we were and started talk to each other. Found out we had a bit in common and something just clicked."

"Do you love him?"

I stared at him. "Sure. I love him as a friend."

"So. you're not.. a couple?" Toby somehow managed to turn a slightly darker shade of red.

I couldn't help but laugh at him. "Oh hell no! Branden is way too. flamboyant. If we'd ever gone out he would've driven me insane. Poor guy's always stuck with closet cases and the moment he tries to hold their hand or anything they flip out. He just wants to be as open as he possibly can, you know? I like my anonymity."

"Yeah," Toby said sharply. "Which is why the first thing you said to me this morning was 'I'm gay.'"

--

I couldn't help being a bit relieved that he and Branden weren't a couple. For one thing, I liked Branden. He was friendly and seemed to really have Dane's best interests at heart.

"Sorry if I traumatized you," Dane said. "But my last several roommates have all been homophobes and I just wanted everything out in the open quickly."

"I understand. I suppose if I still had a girlfriend I wouldn't want to live with some guy who hated women."

Dane got a dark look on his face. "That's another thing. If you ever bring a girl around here I'll rip your face off and feed it to my pet dingo."

I stared at him in shock. "W-what?"

He suddenly broke out into a grin. "I'm just kidding, mate. I don't care if you have a girlfriend over here."

"Oh," I laughed in relief. "I guess I'd have to be pretty dumb to believe that dingo bit anyway."

"Of course," Dane said as he picked up an empty box to carry to the dumpster. "I wouldn't want your bloody face in the car with me for a thirty minute drive and I left Munchy at home."

I blinked at his retreating back. "Munchy?"

--

Part Four

I walked to the campus courtyard with Toby the next morning. Actually, it was more like I walked somewhere in Toby's vicinity towards to fountain. He was about three feet to my right. They could've fit an elephant between us. Well. a baby elephant.

I was wondering if I'd overdone the "Munchy" bit the night before. It was complete rubbish of course. Only pet I'd ever had named Munchy had been the guinea pig I'd had for a few months when I was seven. My mum had insisted that Munchy leave after he took a piss on her antique hutch.

I started to tell Toby that, but decided it wasn't the classiest thing to say to someone that you're attracted to, even if they are definitely out of your league.

I spotted Brandy waving exuberantly from the fountain. Toby smiled at him and waved back, flashed a brief peace sign in my direction, and headed towards his classes, wishing to avoid my Beginning of the Semester Tradition. Typically, Branden and I used the fountain to meet guys. It was pretty easy. We just sat there and waited for them to come to us. Branden used to compare us to sexual hyenas.

'We're not vultures,' he said. 'Because they actually fly around for awhile and occasionally pick off things as they move off. Plus, vultures look dangerous. We sit around, look good, and wait for them to come as close to us as we can get them. We never chase anything.'

'Yeah,' I'd said. 'Then we sit around and giggle about them when they're gone.'

Brandy had simply giggled.

I took my seat beside him. "Hullo, poofter. Any fresh meat yet?"

"Yup," he said proudly. "You just missed him."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "What'd he look like?"

Brandy grinned mischievously. "Little under six foot. Wavy blond hair and blue eyes. Like Justin Timberlake only more attractive."

I snorted. "I thought you said there wasn't anyone more attractive than Justin Timberlake. Besides, if Toby heard you talking about him like that he wouldn't like you so much anymore and he'd probably kick me into the water for putting such horrid thoughts in your head."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Branden said darkly.

I immediately stopped teasing. Another good thing about Brandy was that underneath everything he was actually a very brilliant individual and very good with people. This was the first Branden Intuition of the year. "What makes you say that?"

"I think that, underneath everything he may seem," Branden began, his eyes darkening like a seer in a trance. "Toby is actually a very extroverted individual. People's opinions matter a great deal to him. I don't think he thinks very highly of himself. I think he's very confused."

"Confused?"

"Yeah," Brandy said, returning to his usual light-hearted attitude. "Like a fish out of water. Fish. Get it?"

--

When I left Dane, I didn't have the faintest idea as to where my classroom was, but I knew what he was planning on doing before class, so I decided to hurry up and get lost. Literally. If there was one thing I definitely didn't want to see at the moment it was two gay guys, one of them my roommate, trying to pick up guys.

After about fifteen minutes of stumbling around like a stereotypical freshman, I finally found the Drama room. I hurried in an grabbed a seat in the front row, knowing that if I didn't some amazingly tall guy would decide to sit in front of me and make it impossible to see the front of the room.

Once I settled my stuff in, I reached into my bag and pulled out my trusty copy of Children of the Night, which I'd started reading simply because it had a French vampire in it and then become remarkably addicted to.

About ten pages into the book I felt a soft tap on my left shoulder and looked up into the most dazzlingly beautiful green eyes I had ever seen, engraved in the angelic face of a young woman. "Hello," she said softly. "My name's Patricia." She pointed over my shoulder. "That's my twin brother, Paul, on your other side."

I turned around and once again found myself staring into those eyes. Paul smiled at me, looking just as amazing as his sister did. I raked my mind for something intelligent to say, looking back and forth between them. My face started to turn bright red. I simply said, "Oh."

-- Part Five

I sat through that entire class wanting to look over at them, but every time I did Patricia was looking at me. I'd smile and blush and turn my attention back to the front of the room, swearing I would pay attention and knowing that I wouldn't.

As soon as class was over I grabbed my books and my backpack quickly and started to hurry towards the door. I'd only made it a few feet when I felt Patricia's hand on my shoulder and froze instantly. "Paul and I were just wondering," she cooed at me. "If you'd like to eat lunch with us."

Bless Dane in all his glory. He is the God of Gay Men from now on. "Sorry. I'd love to, but I'm supposed to meet my roommate and a couple of his friends." It was basically true. Dane had invited me to eat lunch with him and "some of the guys". I'd actually been pretty noncommittal about it. Living with a guy who was pretty much flaunting his sexuality in front of me was bad enough. Hanging out with him and others was. like a nightmare come true. Not that hanging out with content, unconfused straight people was much better.

"Aww," Patricia pouted. "How about next time?" Paul nodded behind her, and realized he hadn't said a word yet.

"Err. Maybe."

"Maybe?" The pout grew. She looked like an over-sized, over-developed Shirley Temple doll like that.

"Sure," I said before I could stop myself. "Why not?"

She smiled brightly. "Great, Toby. We'll see you then."

She trotted past me, her brother following silently behind her, and I sighed. Oh yeah. I was in BIG trouble.

--

I hadn't thought Toby would actually show up to lunch. He hadn't seemed to enthusiastic about the idea, but there he was, sitting at the table with me, Brandy, Jeremy, and the new guy Brandy had picked up beside the fountain. I think his name was Lassie or something.

"Well," I said calmly. "What are you doing here, Mister Clark?"

Toby blushed. "I thought it was better than the alternative of throwing myself on the mercy of the student body. I don't know anybody here but you and Branden yet."

"Wait a minute," the new guy began. "Aren't you in my Drama class? Yeah! You were that guy in the front talking to the Bobsey twins. Man, those two are creeeepy."

"Bobsey twins?" said Jeremy. "You mean Patricia and Paul Mosley? They are a little strange, but. An ex of mine who swung both ways had a serious thing for both of them. They're pretty hot looking. Neither of them has dated anyone here yet, though, and they've got half the campus eyeing their asses. Seems a little suspicious to me."

Brandy gave me a haunted look and paled a little bit. "Look," I said to Toby quickly. "I've heard a bit about those two myself, and none of it was very good. If I were you, I'd keep an eye out for them."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said bitterly. "Who are you to tell me who I shouldn't talk to?"

I winced. "I'd like to think I'm your friend, and I'm not telling you not to talk to them, I'm just saying you should be careful."

Toby glared at me and got up to leave. The new guy started to follow him, but Brandy stopped him. "Let him go, Benji. He needs to cool down and think this over himself."

He looked at me sadly, and I nodded. Toby would have to learn his own lessons if he didn't want to listen to his friends.

--

Part 6

I left the café in a hurry, and by the time I was out the door I knew that I shouldn't have walked out like that. I knew those guys were just trying to give me a few pointers from their experience, but I would've felt stupid if I'd just turned around and said I was being an idiot. So I kept walking.

For the first couple of minutes I didn't know where I was going except that it was somewhere away from the café. Then, at a distance, I spotted the Starbucks sign.

The place was fairly empty, considering that it was lunchtime at a Starbucks near a college. I placed my order and I'd just sat down when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw bright green eyes.

Patricia smiled coyly at me, her brother giving me a similar look from where he stood behind her. I shivered slightly. "Hi, Toby," she said sweetly. "What a small world. What are you doing here? I thought you were meeting friends."

"I was," I said. "I mean I did. But. ahh. They decided to go to a café I don't like, so I left."

The twins sat down on either side of me. "So I guess you're taking our offer of lunch after all, huh?"

"Umm. yeah. I guess so." The invisible demon on my left shoulder giggled in triumph at my ignoring Dane's advice.

"So," she leaned closer to me and Paul propped himself against the table. "Tell us more about yourself."

--

I spent half an hour talking to those two, and they never said a word about themselves. In fact, Paul never said anything at all. They wanted to know all about me, though: what classes I was taking, where I came from, how many siblings I had, when my birthday was, what kind of car I drove. Everything.

After they were done, Patricia stood up and handed me a little piece of paper with a phone number. "Call me some time," she said. "We could go out some where. It might be fun." Then they turned and left.

I shoved the slip in the pocket of my jeans and waited about five more minutes before heading back to the dorm.

--

I was pacing in front of the door, waiting for Toby, wanting to scream at him for being an idiot. At least, if anyone had asked what I was doing, that's what I would've told them. Honestly, I was worried about him. He was new and he didn't really know his way around. He probably got lost.

When the door started to open I stopped and just watched as Toby stuck his head in. He blushed. "Ahh. Dane, I'm sorry. I was an ass. I know you guys were just trying to help me out, and I appreciate it."

I stood still for a minute and let that sink in before nodding. "Fair enough. Where'd you go after you left, anyway?"

He shrugged and walked in the rest of the way, tossing his jacket onto the couch. "Starbucks. Oddly enough, I ran into the Mosley twins there."

"Really? You spent that whole time talking to them?"

"Yeah," he said, then he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and dropped it in the trash. At my curious look he shrugged again. "Patricia Mosley's phone number. She wanted to go on a date or something."

I stared at him in shock. "And you're not going to go?" He shook his head. "Most of the guys in this place would KILL for a date with her!" As I walked back to the bedroom I chuckled softly, joking. "God, Toby, sometimes I think you might be swinging my way."

I didn't see Toby go pale behind me, so it stands to reason that I wouldn't know when, a few minutes later, he pulled something out of the trash and picked up the phone.

--

Part 7

Dinner with Patricia made me want to take back when I wished she'd talk about herself more. She chattered constantly about the most trivial, pointless, annoying things. I wanted to stick a sock in her mouth and go home. The only interesting thing about the entire dinner was that it was the first time I'd seen her without her brother. Without him around, she didn't seem quite so important anymore.

I'd told Dane where I was going. He'd congratulated me and been very supportive, teasing me and making arrangements to stay at Branden's apartment so Patricia and I could go back to my place if we wanted to.

I really didn't want to. Fortunately, I had a very valid excuse for not liking this girl, so confusion decided not to rear it's ugly head at the moment.

--

After the meal, I drove Patricia home and walked her to the door of her room. Outside she stopped and smiled at me. "Are you going to give me a kiss goodnight?"

I mentally shrugged, then leaned over slightly and kissed her on the cheek. A door opened behind me and the girl giggled softly. "Goodnight, Toby. Goodnight, Paul." Then she slipped into her room.

I turned around and saw Paul standing behind me, smirking. He stepped forward and put a hand on my shoulder. "Hello, Toby."

I looked up into bright green eyes, silent and unsure of why he was there and what he wanted.

Then he kissed me.

In my lifetime, I'd kissed about six girls. It had always been nothing: simple and stupid, with no real emotion or feeling to it, and certainly no passion. I'd also kissed a guy. I was fourteen and confused, and he was totally straight and not expecting it at all. I had convinced myself that I simply wasn't the kissing type because I'd never felt anything for guys OR girls.

Then this. This was passion and fire uncurling like a dragon in my veins and racing through me. This was something I'd never felt before and thought I'd never feel again.

Then it stopped and Paul smiled at me, licked his lips, and grabbed my hand.

Unspeaking, he pulled me into his room.

--

I lay curled in the bed beside him, my breath slowing. He seemed content, and I thought I might be falling in love.

Then Paul turned and looked at me, and said, in his calm, even, educated voice: "I got up for that?"

Then he turned his back to me, and I closed my eyes and drifted off.

--

Part 8

There are a lot of things a guy might expect to see in front of his dorm at nine o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. A newspaper or a flyer or maybe even a beer bottle. Notice "your roommate asleep on the doorstep" isn't on that list.

Yet there he was, the guy I was infatuated with, the guy I was stuck living with, snoozing like a baby in front of the door.

I kneeled down and shook his shoulder gently. "Toby. Toby, wake up."

He stirred, opened his eyes slightly, peered at me sleepily, and leaned forward and kissed me right on the lips.

I think I jumped back about three feet. "Jesus, Toby! Wake up!"

He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Dane?!" He blushed. "Sorry. I thought. never mind."

I looked at him strangely. "Yeah, well what are you doing out here?"

--

First of all, let me explain about that kiss. The one thing I will never forget about the Mosley twins is the color of their eyes. As green as leaves in summer. When I went to sleep, I was in bed with Paul Mosley, and when I woke up there was a guy with green eyes whispering my name. Sleep- fogged brains can make interesting connections.

Then Dane asked me why I was sleeping on the porch. I didn't know. As I said, I went to sleep in Paul's bed. I did NOT expect to wake up in front of the door to my dorm.

So I simply said it was a long story, then stood up and started to brush my clothes off. A piece of paper fell to the ground and I dove for it before Dane could pick it up and read it frantically. It said:

"Thanks for the ride.
1. Paul"

I stared at the paper in my hand as if it had sprouted fangs and sunk them into my wrist. I slowly crumpled the paper into a wad.

"What's that?" said Dane. "Love letter from Miss Mosley?"

I shook my head. "It's a. receipt. Overdue library books. Big fines."

Dane gave me a weird look and opened the door and let me precede him into the room. "Right, mate. So how did the date go, anyway?"

"Horrible," I declared, flopping down on the couch and then wincing. Bad dreams don't leave you sore. "She was the most vapid, brainless girl I've ever met in my life and I'd rather make friends with Munchy the Dingo-" Daniel laughed. "Than ever date her again."

"Oh?" My roommate inquired, looking at me slyly. "Then why did you sleep with her?"

I spun around so quickly to face him that I almost gave myself a headache. "WHAT?! I did not!"

"Don't be daft," he said, smiling like he knew perfectly what was going on and was obviously speaking to an idiot. "You have that 'I got laid' look all over you. So how was she?"

I shook my head and walked toward my bedroom. "I am not discussing this with someone I barely know, especially not my GAY roommate. Butt out." I shut the door and lay down on the bed. Drama class was gonna be hell.

--

Part 9

Once again I walked within wildlife distance of Toby, but this time it was more like giraffe distance than baby elephant distance. Also, this time when Brandy smiled and waved at him he simply kept walking to class, lost in his own little world.

"What's up with him?" Brandy asked, puzzled. "What on earth did you do to the poor boy?"

"I didn't do anything," I said, raising my hands to ward off any upcoming Brandy Glare. "He went on a date with Patricia Mosley on Friday, mysteriously wound up on our doorstep, and has been like that ever since. He claims it was the worst date of his life, but he won't tell me why he screwed her anyway."

"He slept with her?" Branden looked shocked, and maybe a little afraid.

"Well," I said calmly. "He won't admit it, but he had that look on his face, you know? The 'I Just Had Sex' look."

My best friend shook his head, frowning. "Sorry Danny, but I just remembered I have some research to do. I'll see you at lunch. Maybe you could get Toby to come too? He might just need to get his mind off a bad experience."

I laughed and waved at him before walking towards class.

--

I was wrong about Drama. It wasn't hell. It was beyond hell. It was like one of those days when you get out of the shower to answer to phone and find out your grandmother is dying. Then while you're waiting for a call to find out if she'll be okay, every Jehovah's Witness and salesman in a twenty mile radius decides to descend on your front door one by one.

Patricia really was as self-absorbed and stupid as she'd seemed on our date. The worst part was that she'd had a wonderful night and thought we should get together again. She spent the entire class throwing blatant hints at me, even suggesting that I go with them on my next break to meet her parents.

Paul, on the other hand, wouldn't even look at me and scowled at Patricia's little suggestions. I tried to get his attention a few times, but it didn't work. Hopeless case, I knew.

I was relieved when the bell rang for class to end; thinking hell was over for the day.

It had only just begun.

As soon as I got out the door, someone grabbed my shoulder firmly with one hand and spun me around. Deep green eyes filled with resentment and a silent fury bore into my own. "You're not meeting our parents; you're not dating my sister; you're not touching her; you're not even talking to her from now on unless she talks first." Paul squeezed my shoulder painfully. "Got that?"

Shocked by the menace in his voice, I simply nodded. He smirked and released my shoulder suddenly, as though he didn't want to touch me any longer than necessary, then sauntered off, leaving me helpless in his wake.

--

I caught Toby in the hallway after his second class, Geology, and immediately started to drag him away. "Branden," he gasped, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I want to talk to you before lunch. In the library." I then proceeded to lead him into the library and to the back of the research section, shelves of musty books which no student with good intentions would approach this early in the year. Relinquishing his arm, I paced in front of him.

"What's wrong with you?" He looked genuinely puzzled.

I took a very deep breath. "I want to tell you a story about a friend of mine in my senior year of high school. He wasn't a very good friend, but he was the only one I had, so I pretended to like him. Actually, I hated him. He was weird and chubby. He wore glasses and had more acne than the freshman English class put together. Everyone laughed at him." I shrugged. "Plus, he was one of those Dateless Wonders. He'd never dated a girl in his life. Hardly even looked at them, so I should've known. I should've known what would happen."

--

I stared at Branden as he closed his eyes and leaned back against the bookshelf across from me for a moment. Why was he telling me this?

"One day, at the end of the summer before, a family moved into the apartment next door to his. They had two kids a year younger than us. My friend's mom was one of those mothers who are sure everything about their child is perfect and can't understand why the boy doesn't have any friends. So, as soon as these people move in she sends him over to meet them, hoping he could be friends with the neighbors.

"When he got there, the young girl was extremely friendly towards him, probably nicer than anyone had been in his entire life. Then, while she was in the living room practicing her piano, her brother took my friend back to his bedroom and raped him."

I gasped, not so much at the horror of the story as the sight of cheerful, light-hearted Branden clutching the bookcase behind him for support while tears ran down his face.

"He didn't realize what happened, though. Told me he had a friend and a boyfriend. He said he was so happy to finally know that he was gay. He insisted that on the first day of school he would introduce me to them. He knew they'd just love me.

"I'll never forget the look on his face when we went to school, he walked up to his 'boyfriend', and the guy stared right through him and punched him in the face for touching him."

He blinked, wiped his eyes with his shirtsleeve, and then looked up at me, his red eyes belaying his usual smile. "Sorry. I'm too emotional."

"It's okay." I shook my head. "But why'd you tell me that?"

"Because," he whispered, "My friend committed suicide shortly after that, disgusted with himself more than anyone else ever was." He gripped my chin and stared straight into my eyes, anger glinting in his own. "Toby, my best friend killed himself over Paul fucking Mosley, and Patricia cried at his funeral like a bewildered child who didn't know that people can hurt and die without ever showing it."

Then he patted me on the back, then leaned over and whispered in my ear, "You are not alone. If you ever need to fall apart, I'm here. And so is Dane."

Then he walked out, leaving me to stare at the empty space he'd left bleeding in my chest.

--

Part 10

I gave Brandy an annoyed glance as he strolled into the café ten minutes late. "Where the hell were you?"

"Sorry," he said cheerfully. "Research took longer than I thought it would. Ran into Toby on the way, though. He said he might not make it. He wasn't feeling well."

"Oh? What's wrong? Hopefully nothing contagious. I wouldn't want to catch it."

"Don't worry," Brandy said, grinning mischievously. "He just caught Mono from the Mosley girl. Kidding!"

I shook my head. "At least if he had Mono I wouldn't have a penguin's chance in hell of catching it."

"Don't be so sure," he responded mysteriously. Before I could ask him what he meant by that he smiled over my shoulder and waved. "Hi, Toby."

--

I don't know what I was thinking going to the café for lunch. I'd forgotten that I was supposed to meet Dane and Branden there, and after what happened in the library my brain went on autopilot and headed for the nearest place to sit down and eat in relative peace.

So much for peace.

I also wasn't expecting Branden to be so perky, but when I didn't respond to his greeting he put a little more effort into his smile and waved for me to sit. Mutely, I took a seat beside Dane in the booth.

"Hey," he said casually, looking me over. "Are you okay?"

I was hit by a wave of panic and went very pale. Had Branden told him what had transpired before lunch? Was Dane feeling sorry for me now? Or, now that I'd been with another man, was he checking me out? "Fine," I squeaked.

"Brandy told me you weren't feeling well," he said. "You look a pit pale. Queasy?"

I relaxed, leaning back in the booth. "Yeah. I grabbed a snack in the cafeteria that didn't agree with me, but I feel better now."

"So how was Drama this morning?" Dane asked, sipping on his cola. "Did you talk to Miss Mosley?"

I shot a glance at Branden, who was feigning disinterest in the question. "Yeah. She wanted to go out again or something. Hell, she wanted me to meet her parents."

Danny almost choked on his drink. "Are you serious? That fast?"

"Yeah, but don't worry. I'm not going." Branden nodded, and for his benefit I added, "Wouldn't be even if Paul hadn't told me not to. "

That was supposed to be a good thing. It was supposed to mean, 'See, Branden, I'm not such a loser after all. I'm not desperate enough to hang on that guy's every whim.'

Unfortunately, Dane didn't understand that. "Wait a second. He told you not to? Why the hell would he do that?"

I shrugged. "I guess he doesn't think I'm worthy of his sister or something. He was even telling me that I shouldn't touch her or talk to her or." I stopped, noticing that Dane's face was turning red.

"Who the hell," he hissed. "Does that bastard think he is?"

Branden shrugged. "So he's a jerk with a Sister Complex. So what? Who cares? Where's lunch?"

--

I glared at Brandy, practically shouting now. "I bloody well care! He shouldn't be able to talk to Toby like that! It's not right!"

Toby tapped me on the shoulder, and when I turned to face him he smiled sadly. "Why? It's just one more asshole on the planet that just happened to pick me. Why care?"

I fumbled for the words, blushing. "Because. you're a nice guy and my roommate and." 'And I'm a possessive bastard,' my mind added. "He shouldn't try to control what you do."

Toby shrugged and slid out of the booth. "I think I'm feeling sick again. I'm going to go home."

"Don't you want your lunch?" Brandy asked. When Toby shook his head he grinned. "Great! More for Dane!"

"Are you kidding? Why me?"

"You need fattening up. Seriously."

"You're skinnier than I am!"

"Yes, but I have to maintain my girlish figure. No one cares if you look bad."

In the midst of the bickering, I watched Toby slip out the café and head down the street, his hands in his pockets, gazing down at the sidewalk.

Brandy saw me watching. "He'll be alright, Dane. He has a lot to deal with, and he doesn't have nearly as much control as he thinks he does."

I turned to him. "Then who does?"

"You."

"Why me?"

"In order for you to understand, I need to tell you a story."