I'm staring a turning point in the face, and I can't decide whether or not I'm overwhelmed with excitement or paralyzed by fear. The sudden movement, the swift flow of everything and nothing at all combined is an indescribable extention of energy. I'm looking blindly into a tunnel of darkness, pointing my fingertips towards the smallest light that was once unnoticable. I know I have to walk confidently, all the while remembering that my steadied breath is my control.

Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. Seems so simple.

And I keep going, because I'm too frustrated with the opposite direction, my dance with limbo. I'm too frustrated with disappointment. I want hope. I want to feel it, and I'm waiting for it to hang around for more than a fleeting span of time. No more disappearing acts. I don't want to be teased. I want to know that there's something worth it in this world for me.

So, not knowing whether or not I'm overwhelmed with excitement or paralyzed by fear is part of my journey. I can cry if I need to. I can kick, and I can scream. I can keep control of my breathing, and I can laugh when it's all I know to do, but I have to keep on going. I have to keep on walking with my head held as high as possible, knowing there's something more for me than the unrelenting gloom that has burdened me for so long.

I have to continue through the darkness, break it away, in order to reach my light.