Shining Death Like Flashlights Into The Basement

Stumbling blindly
Into another memory
Stacking up
Piling on scars that now overlap
Just an afterthought
To pain
That explodes and won't die
Pain that only heals with blood
Faded away - leaving quiet marks
That people won't notice
The pain cut away
Never grew back,
Healed and scarred and faded
Now gone
Longing for the icy touch
Like no one else
Can free you from suffering
Beckoning so many times
When all it would have taken
Was pressure on stainless steel
Turning red all you see
All the memories of all the death
When you found him dead
Bloody note in hand
You want someone to find you like that
5 days after you've died
Make them smell you
Let them live the nightmares
That ended you're childhood too soon
That made you pull out the knife he bought you
Back before the heroin and pills
And show god your pain like he did.

You were proud
Death didn't frighten you
You're ready for another fight
You'll lose
So someone won't know what to do
To make the memories stop
Won't be able to forget you
Won't talk about you over dinner
4 years later

Cut away the house that slowly
Slaughtered your family
Taking them one at a time
So you could watch
Remember, forever
What dead skin feels like
When you kissed her goodbye
What suicide smells like
When you go for a visit 5 days later
Just a child - suddenly grown

Whisper to her at night
To make sure she's still there
Dead seven years
And won't leave you alone
She wanted you to taste the cancer
Eating her - now you
She was your cancer
Changed you forever
Made you fight it
Controlled your future
Now you'll be a doctor and end this shit
For all the other grateful families
As they get their grandmothers back
You're still here cutting away
In this darkened room
Wondering how much blood it would take
To get them all back again.