It’s nights like these that the tears flow the hardest. A night where all is silent and some unknown force pulls me to my window. I have seen John look out his window, burning in his loneliness, at my window. He yearns for me, yet I have not known him for months; he does not come to church. Oh, how I miss him! I miss his strong and gentle touch; I miss everything about him. I love him and I know he loves me too, whatever sin it may be.

Sometimes in the dead of night, such as this one, I walk about the house expecting him to come through some door. I wait for him every night, for I cannot sleep. He opened my eyes to the world, like the fruit opened Eve’s. I cannot and I refuse to put it out of my mind. What we had is not something to easily be forgotten. What we had is special, and Goody Proctor ruined it!

I still cannot believe he denies what happened between us. He cannot say we never touched! Aye, but we did! We did touch. He bends to his wife’s will. I do not understand how such a strong man can let his sickly, weak wife command him. It is all Goody Proctor’s fault! If not for her, John and I would still be together. I am better for him then she is. I could easily take her place and please John in more ways then she ever could. She is cold whereas I am hot.

Goody Proctor does not deserve him. She damages my name throughout Salem and makes him miserable. Why can’t he see that I am perfect for him? Why can’t he see that my love is true? Leave her! He thought of me softly once, what stops him now? I barely survive without his touch. His touch and love keeps me sane and whole.

Staring out my window, I see the land where his farm lies. I dream of the day when he will realize how lonely his life is without me, like mine has grown to become. Not a minute goes by that I do not think of him. John consumes all my thoughts and desires. I am nothing without him. I cry for the time we have spent apart, and my body anticipates the day when John and I can be together again.

I return to bed with one final thought. I must have him back. Aye, I shall have him back, no matter what the cost.

* * *

Author’s Note: I wrote this for English for “The Crucible.” It’s short, but we only needed 5 paragraphs. I got an A+ on it, with a comment that read: “Good insight into Abby’s mind and motives. Well done.” I had forgotten that I’d written it, until it was handed back last week. Read, review, if you want.
~Ashlita