Francois Rabelais

I was born a long long time ago, but you'll have to ask my biographer the specifics, if she even knows. It is very uncertain when I was born, plus I wouldn't want to bore you with trivial details like that. Do you know? [You were born in 1494 at Chinon in Touraine, France] Really?! Are you sure? I'm that old? Wow! My father was either an apothecary, a publican, wealthy land owner, lawyer, or a innkeeper; the details are kind of shady and I don't rightly remember myself. I was a monk for a good part of my life, but now I mock the church. Don't get me wrong, religion in general is great, but the rules and rulers of the church aren't the brightest stars in the sky. I was a humanist and believed that the individual was good, and that expanding peoples knowledge in science and philosophy were good things. The church disagreed with my views. After I left the monastery I studied medicine at... um... Where was it again? [In the University of Montepellier] Oh yeah that's right, old age and being dead sure get to you. In the following years I became the head physician at the hospital of Pont-du-Rhone. During that time I became the proud father of a beautiful baby boy, who died at an early age.
I tried to attack all of the past, Scholasticism, the monks; my religion was scarcely more than that of a spiritually minded pagan. I wrote many comic book type books, but most of them were incomprehensible to the common man's mind. Looking back, that probably wasn't to humanistic to go over peoples heads like that, but I couldn't help it... that was just the way my mind worked. One of my major achievements was a book called Pantagruel. Why did I write it again? [In response to...] Oh yeah, now I remember! Of coarse! It was in response to a bunch of stories combined to make a book called Gargantua about a giant. Here is a book with the collection of Gargantua stories and my book Pantagruel, which I take credit for now. (hold up book) Pantagruel was his son. For this, I was harassed and feared by the church. They feared the influence I would have in society. I tried to mix learning, eloquence, coarse humor, and extravagances within that book. Obviously, I succeeded because it was banned and condemned.
I escaped prosecution for heresy by the protection of my good friend Cardinal Jean du Bellay, and fled from France. After that I spent the remainder of my life traveling around Europe with the good Cardinal. Returning to France in 1550, I wrote my longest book Quart Livre in 1552, and it too, like much else I did, was condemned by the church and banned by Parliament. I died the following year and they laid me to rest in Saint- Paul-des-Champs, Paris. My last word have been said to be: "Bring down the curtain, the farce is played out."

Any questions?

Ok, I'd like to thank you kind ladies and gents, for being so patient and listening to me babbling on about myself, now I have another appointment... The eternal sleep awaits. "I am going to seek a great perhaps."

**This was written as a monologue for a class I was taking.. the parts in Italics is where the biographer of the project would talk for me... it was a 2 person project.. the actor and the biographer... so I had my biographer help me out.. and I helped her write the paper... it all worked out**