Freeloader

One day, while walking down a street, the Irish Guy saw a ‘Taco Bell’ and decided to go in and grab a bite to eat. As he walked in, he noticed a man crying in the corner, a woman shoving ‘mild sauce’ packets down her pants, and a man yelling something at the cashier. Naturally, Irish Guy went up to the man yelling at the other cashier dude.

“Hey, uh, I’ll get a ‘Chalupa’ and a small drink.” ordered the Irish Guy.

“Can’t you see I’m not done here?! Go away you little ingrate!” yelled the man.

“Excuse me sir,” started up the cashier, “you’re going to have to step outsi…”

“Quiet you! I’m not done verbally abusing you yet.”

“You know, yelling at a man from ‘Taco Bell’ is bad luck.”

“Really, you think so?”

“Yeah, it’s…five years I think.”

“Egad man! Why didn’t you tell me?” asked the man while looking at the cashier.

“Uh…I tried to, but you just kept on interrupting.”

“I’m sorry…I’ll leave now.”

“Thanks for getting him off my back.”

“No sweat.”

“Hey, just for that, your meal is on the house.”

“Cool, in that case, I’ll have a ‘Quesadilla’ another ‘Chalupa’ and instead of a small drink…I’ll have the cruiser cup.”

“Uh…tell you what; I’ll give it to you if you can get rid of those two.” he gestured towards the man crying and the woman still stealing hot sauce.

“Uh…ok.” Irish Guy then went up to the man and started to whisper in his ear. “I ate your mother, your father is about to be hung by a noose I tied myself and if you don’t get out of here now, your teddy bear will be fed to my Saint Bernard.”

“No, not my teddy!” the man wiped his tears and got up. “I’m coming Jasper!” then he ran out, only to be hit by a car going though the drive-through.

“Watch where you’re going ya jerk!” yelled the man in a New York accent.

“One down.” He then walked over to the woman now working on the ‘Fire’ sauce packets. As he approached her, she jerked her head towards him and gave him an evil glare.

“If you come closer I’ll eat your teddy bear!”

“Not jasper! Wait…I don’t have a teddy bear.”

“Then I’ll give you one!” as soon as she said that, she threw a brown bear at him, which he caught. “His name is Abraham!”

“I don’t want this bea…”

“I’ll eat him…I swear!”

Irish Guy glanced at the bear then tossed it back to her. “Knock yourself out.”

She glanced at the Irish Guy with a hint of confusion, then anger, then sympathy, then some malice, and finally, blinding rage.

“Time to die teddy!” with that, she dug her teeth into the bear’s head and ran out the door.

“Weirdo…hey, where’s my free meal?”

“Uh…yeah…I didn’t think you would actually be doing that so…” with a swift movement, the cashier pulled out a sign and quoted it. “‘We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service.’”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…get out.” with that, the Irish Guy walked out of the Taco bell and decided that from now on, whenever he wants Mexican food, he’ll go to Baja Fresh.

                                                                   The End.

Hey everyone, It’s me…Irish Guy (A.K.A. Ryan if you hadn’t figured it out by now). I just wanted to say that the preceding is not true. I do not, repeat, DO NOT, go to Baja Fresh. Thank you for your time, have a nice day.

And now, a sneak peak at an upcoming mini-series by the Irish Guy entitled,

“Squeaky the Great”

“As you wish…the duel I mean, I will not lose!” having said this, the monkey threw his feces at Mr. Squeaky’s face.

“Ah! I’m blind! Patsy, rescue me!”

“Here, a towel.” but it was too late, even though Mr. Squeaky had caught the thrown towel, the monkey had knocked him back about five feet before he hit a tree.

“Oh my back; you’ll get yours monkey!”