Between Me and Myself

LoneReaper

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I am not what I used to be

Considerate, compassionate…social

Able to befriend anyone

Able to converse with others

Being true to all and me.

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But, this mask I wear

Imprisons my true self in a cage

Hidden in the shadows,

Through the shroud of cold sweat

Living one life while the other is on pause

Like a break in between a video game.

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Sitting inside my head, keeping to myself

Aloof, bitter, hesitant…alone

Act like I don’t care and be happy

When inside, I feel distant and unwanted

From everyone…

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“Smile and nod,” my conscience calls out

“And everyone will know you’re fine—

Be polite and say pleasant words,

And maybe there’ll still be a chance,

To fit in.”

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Rocking back and forth

Lonely, with no one to go to

In this imaginary world of mine

No one else knows but me

Of this feeling, I withhold inside.

Everyone is unaware.

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I’ve masked myself well

Another job well done

Have earned myself no pity

Just breezed through another dispirited day

The ugliness within me left untouched

Life as a living tall tale…