The perfect man is nice and tall
He runs when he doth hear my call

The perfect man is tanned and toned
He's never cross when I've not phoned

The perfect man wears suits and ties
And always aims to win first prize

The perfect man buys all the drinks
And if he's drunk he never stinks

The perfect man knows what to do
If I'm down or feeling blue

The perfect man will stay way clear
When PMS likes to appear

The perfect man knows what I like
Whether it's fizzy, red or white

The perfect man is always there
No matter what, he always cares

The perfect man won't even blink
At that LARGE SPIDER in my sink

The perfect man knows I'm not fat
He asks not, "What the hell is THAT?"

The perfect man is never rude
If Mom or Dad ask if he's "clued"

The perfect man will know all this
… Assuming such a guy exists!!