What does school teach us in the long run? We won’t ever forget our alphabet, or how to add and subtract numbers less than ten, but will we really remember the six statements to Dalton’s theory, and the quadratic formula to find a parabola? Obviously no. While sitting in class, bored out of my mind with a bit of drool hanging from my lip, my brain started circulating thoughts. I have a very vivid brain, you see. It sometimes even scares me. And, sitting there clueless to what was going on, I decided to make a list; Stupid Ways to Annoy your Teacher, and then I realized I had to add, And how to get Suspended from school.

Switching the hallway number plates can give a couple laughs, especially to new comers and freshmen. This works if it is the first day of school. The teachers will wonder why everyone is late, and they will get pissed because they cannot start their lesson on time. Oh bother.

Changing the times on the clocks is always a funny one to that is if your school usually keeps your clocks with the right time. My school, which isn’t even ghetto somehow has a clock problem. None of the clocks are right; they are one hour behind, one hour ahead, or thirty minutes fast.

Is there a teacher that hates you? Why not get her back by unscrewing her chalkboards. This will leave her with a scrunched up nose and wrinkles in her forehead for she has no where to teach! Her chalkboard, like many teachers was her everything. The chalkboard, which is her heart and soul, has been unscrewed lying on the floor. What a bummer.

Last night was bad. You had loads of homework, a basketball game, and your boyfriend called. It turns out you have a test in chemistry next period, and you have no clue whats on that test. Well, of course this test is the last test of the quarter which will determine what you get in the class for the quarter, which will effect your semester grade, which will effect your GPA, which will effect what college you get into, which will effect what job you get. So, its important…and I say this with sincerity…. PULL THE FIRE ALARM.

Don’t you hate textbooks? So do I. Open a window, and jam those heavy boredom causers out the window. After you’re done, wave good bye, and close the window to avoid pollutants in the dirty air.

After class is over, take a TV cart. Take it in the hall, and ride in it. This can be an attention getter, but a lot of fun. It’s almost like your at Disney World!! Weeeee!

Two words: Water guns!

I was never good at math. I tried very hard over and over for five minutes to get the lesson. I gave up. However, I thought it was hysterical to call out random numbers in class while my teacher was trying to do the problem. She’d ignore me for a while, then say, “Please stop” and then I’d be out of the classroom with my butt propped against the wall waving to the other kids walking in the halls.

I had a teacher I hated. She was dumb, old, and dressed like she was our age. Her skirts were shorter than most teenage girls, and we wondered how she got a college diploma. We stuck her materials to the desk with super glue. It took her a while to wonder why she couldn’t pick up her pen. Yes, she was very blonde.

I loved the teachers who would leave our rooms to go get a coke from the coke machine, or ran extra copies because they were too lazy to do it after class. I’d stick a chair under the doorknob not allowing them to come in. If the door had a lock, I’d lock them out. I’d see the teacher come back five minutes later, and we all called out, “PARTY” filled by jumps up and down.

Draw picture on the chalkboards, desks, and textbooks. Teachers love this.

I was a talker in class, I must admit. I love to talk, and sometimes I didn’t stop. One day, my math teacher asked me, “Would you like to teach the class since you seem to know everything?” I said yes. Too bad, this was in math class, and if you remember….math is not my subject.

I always read those books about the schools that had food fights in my younger days. I thought, “How radically cool.” Why not have a food fight and throw food at your teacher like they did in the movie MATILDA? I’ll call it, “One, Two, Three….. FOOD FIGHT!!”

I loved my teachers. Really, I did. Even the most boringest ones were in my heart. I’d walk right pass the sign that said, “NO STUDENTS ALLOWED” and I’d sit in the teachers lounge with my peanut butter sandwich. A teacher I didn’t know said, “You can’t be in here.” I said, “I have no friends. Please, teacher…. Let me stay!”

Hide pictures of people from on their desk. My English teacher really liked who was under his desk.

Teachers always give out their phone numbers for parents to call and complain to why their child hasn’t an A in literature. Instead, call the teacher and start talking to them. Tell them about your day, ask them about yours.

Teachers…. School. What more can I say? Now, don’t you go around thinking that I’m a rebellious teenager who is trying to ruin the lives of teachers at my school. I have not done a single thing on the list; well maybe one or two. I hope you enjoyed!