I used to run.

I used to run all the time. Not just in competitions, but I'd run at every free chance I got. Running took me away from everything I hated in my life and switched it for something I'd never complained about. Something that never brought me down.

I loved it.

Everything about it. I loved the cold, rushing whistle of the wind trying to catch up to me, as we ran our secret race. I loved how clear my mind felt as I started the refreshing jog up the hill.

Competitions would probably be my least favourite form of running. I didn't really pursue the idea of promoting the school, region, state or country by abusing the thing you love the most.
But I did it anyway, not trying to boast or anything, but the sporting teachers were relentless in asking me to join the (heaven forbid) athletics team and I could do nothing more than accept because I was the meek, weak little girl I was.

As everything was going as wonderfully as possible, something totally bizarre happened.

Him.

Alex Crocker. That was his name. He wasn't jocular, nor a nerd. Just one of those people that aren't extremely popular but everyone still knows, because they're so average. He asked me out, and we'd become closer and closer, and soon enough it seemed like I knew him my entire life. Then a year before we graduated from high school he asked me to do something I had never though of doing my whole life.

"Allie? You know I love you- and I don't want you to get hurt. Could you, give up running?"

I remember growing continuously numb with shock. Running had been a constant, loyal companion for eighteen years- and now Alex- my boyfriend for two years was asking me to cut off my strong bonds with something I had loved so bad like it was a thin piece of string.

Of course, I said I would. See, I loved him too much. It's like, once a weak little girl- always a weak little girl.

Then after high school we got married. My friends all seemed extremely happy for me, but my best friend Beckie who I had known almost as long as running itself, came sweeping up to me in her bridesmaid dress. She said something to me that would be engraved in my memory forever.
"Allie, I'm behind your every decision, you know that- but, Allie? Think about it. Have you really gained more than you've lost?" And with one last fleeting look at me, she walked off to collect her bouquet.

The marriage carried on as planned.

The honeymoon was fantastic.

I'm twenty-five now, and I've been attached to Alex Crocker for seven years. Five years as Allisone Crocker.
And for five years I've been pondering the same question Beckie asked me on the day I would begin them.

As I put on my joggers a strange feeling engulfs me. It's not excitement, nor regret. I know those feelings too well. A weird energy begins to flow through my veins as I stand up and test them.

For the first time in seven years.

It's been seven years of happiness and love which I had thought had been stripped away from me forever. You know, maybe I was wrong.

I used to run all the time, and I loved it.

I'm running again, and I still do. I'll run away from my home, my husband, and my second, empty being. But I'm chasing the wind again, and right now, that's all that matters.

And maybe that's why I'm feeling so alive.

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