The soft white essence felt paradisiacally warm and soothing beneath my
bare, sore feet. Swirls of pale flakes encircled me, making my lightly-
clothed body shiver. Chills invaded my body, each one more powerful then
the next as I tried to curl into myself in search of some needed warmth. I
lowered myself into the snow's icy fold, shuddering with each forced
movement.
I could feel everything; see everything that lay before me. Endless
sheets of ashen beauty, ensnaring me in its fatal trap, into which I had
fallen into voluntarily. The wind's violent howl whipped against my ear,
telling me of what it wishes to do with my willing soul. My distraught,
agonized soul, that never wanted to see any more of the harsh reality that
it was living in. The frost wanted it, desired it, and needed it to add
amongst its cemetery of lost lives. It was only right to succumb to the
fate that was mine, the path that I had driven myself to. It was only
right.
I lay back, falling into the plush softness that awaited my
presence. Wisps of my dark hair flew around my wan face, lingering as if
trying to stop me from my destined way. Head upon my frigid pillow, I
anticipated the outcome that I knew would come all too soon.
Flakes still drifted onto me, the harsh drift omitted from my
deathbed. Fluttering onto my frostbitten body, they caressed any pain I
might have left from my memory. I took in my last of the icy comfort I
could from the world I was leaving behind, even if I had long forgotten the
effects of all forms of touch. I glanced up at the never-ending gray sky
along with my arctic cemetery. I knew the moment was almost here, that Fate
was on the verge of finally taking me from the world of which I loathed so
much. I sighed my last sigh, and closed my eyes, which never again would
see the creation that destroyed so much of me. No more. No more everlasting
pain. For my frosty death would finally take my consenting spirit.
*
Yet, my expected death did not come. Fate did not hand me over to
demise. I lay there, waiting.waiting for it to come and finally end my
forlorn life. Instead, Fate left me on the ledge, holding me by a thread of
my shirt, teasing me with the fact I was so close. I screamed at it, told
it to let it commence and finally grant me my freedom. But Fate did not let
go.
My anger boiled inside of me, when I knew it had toyed with me. I
felt its warmth seeping into me, taking away the chilling feeling I longed
for. Fate lifted me up, up into its strong arms, holding me close to its
own body; letting every ounce of heat it had flow into my own veins.
Startled at such a strong physical contact from Fate, I struggled
to get free, but my strength had not returned. It held me there as I weakly
fought, but its arms of warmth still grasped me tight. I finally stopped;
knowing weakness had taken over me again. I did the only thing I could do.
I opened my eyes.
I saw nothing. Nothing was before me but the infinite mass of
white. I widened my eyes, trying to see anything, for I could still feel
its hold on me. But nothing came to my sight.
Still, warmth flooded into me, awaking things I had lost forever
ago. I felt the weakness ebbing away. The strength took off, flooding out
my negativity, my sorrow and my pain. I could feel the warmth flowing for
what seemed like an eternity.
Then Fate stopped. The arms left my body, vanishing from my sense
of touch. But it did not matter. The snow illusion gave me the soaring
feeling I need to rise from my icy demeanor. No more will I wish for the
death that I had wanted to befall me. My inner soul has found strength from
a second chance, a second choice. I will be better, despite all odds, I
will be the person I want to be.
And the arms of my illusion still linger, still flood its warmth into me,
never letting me forget my new direction in my path of life.
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