Never meant for Me

It's something that is out of my grasp, something my mind don't really
comprehend
My fingers claw for it, my mind bargains for it
I willingly clutch onto the slightest glimmer
Hoping against hope that for once I'll be the victor
Yet elusive, it slips through my fingers like fine silt from the beach

It's something that is all around, it echoes in the laughter in the
plainest of grounds
My heart beats for a glimpse of it, my eyes vulnerable for those who're
giving
My heart quivers when I think it is near; I ask, "Is this finally it?"
But time and time again, cast aside, rejected
I shake to wakefulness, reality complete

It's something that I have never received, but I no longer need
A coolness have descended upon me, masking my features and my needs
A smile from father to son, a hug from mother to daughter
A peck on the cheek, with eyes smiling with love
I look on detached, not desiring it was for me

It's something that is still all around, but now I comprehend it
No longer do I crave it, though I see it passed around
I turn my face up to the sunlight, basking in the warmth
I think this must be what it's like; luxurious, dependable and warm
Yet my gaze does not waver, my heart remain cool

For I finally comprehend, it was never meant for me.