Out the Window

By: Emile Haliewicz

Ever since I was a little girl I remember being alone. Not because I was unfriendly or I didn't want any company, but because I couldn't speak. Literally, my voice was gone. I am a mute. My name is Victoria McLain, but please, call me "Tori".
My ability to speak was lost when I was 6 years-old. I was walking home from kindergarten when a dog attacked me. No one knew why. Maybe I was tasty-looking or something, but that Rottweiler latched itself on to my throat and never let go. That day ruined my life, not only did I go silent, but I also gained a fear of dogs.
I can't stand those rabid beasts. That's my view on all dogs now-a- days. Even if it's just a puppy who wags its tail like the day never ends I'd be on the brink of tears for fear of it attacking me. Sometimes I would cry just thinking about that one fateful day. I remember the growls, the blood and the siren of the ambulance blaring. It's a scene I wish to forget, but for some reason, I can't.
That was nearly 10 years ago. I'm 16 now and being home tutored for my 8th year by Mr. Adam Renhall. My parents hired Adam after trying to let me attend both public and private schools like a normal kid. For the first couple of years, everything was okay, but then the children decided to begin picking on me. They'd often chase me home taunting me with silly rhymes that went something like, "Look at the cute little mute!" and "She can walk, but she can't talk!". They're all incredibly stupid I say.
My life became a little bit better once Adam became my tutor. I was no longer completely lonely. He was and still is very young, only 27. He began tutoring me as an after-school job when he was 17, and now he has a degree in education. He's told me many times that it's all thanks to me being his inspiration. Such a sweet fellow he is. Throughout my schooling he's been my only friend, and though I'm thankful, I long for more.
Because of this longing, everyday of the 8 years that I've spent in this god-forsaken house, I'd go to the window and watch the children walk home from school. I now it sounds silly but watching them always comforted me. Even now, at 2:30 in the afternoon I'd sit by the window and Adam would leave me be for about half-an-hour so I could see them be released. To me it was extremely amusing to see how the girls my age would dress and how immature the boys still acted. I'd laugh and laugh at them horsing around on the street, until... This one boy would come into my sight.
I guessed that the other boys respected him because they'd immediately stop whatever they were doing whenever he showed up. The girls would also go practically berserk, but that was no surprise since he was basically the definition of handsome. Dark brown hair that barely brushed his brow, and blue eyes that rivaled the color of the sky. I without a doubt would've been one of those girls who crowded around him daily. But I knew, no matter how much wishful thinking occurred, I would never get to know him, or even meet him for that matter. Especially with no voice to help me. This is where my story begins...

Today was like any other spring day in London. I had just finished my arithmetic lesson with Adam and he knew what time it was. I had opened the curtains of my bedroom window to let the light in and so I'd have a clear view of the sidewalk below since my room was on the house's 2nd story. Adam stood up, "I guess we can start our next lesson in an hour or so then Tori?"
I nodded to signal, "Yes."
He smiled and then left the room with a click of the door behind him. It was then I placed myself by the window for my daily glimpse at the life of a normal 10th grade student. I sat there, watching.
One-by-one the students began to make their way down the street from the school. This time the boys were kicking a soccer ball which rolled away faster than any of them could run. The chased after it in a small mob, the way piranhas seek meat. I laughed. More and more people walked by, but no matter how long, I'd never leave the window until he would walk past. Then I noticed him.
For some odd reason I seemed more excited than usual to even catch a glimpse of him today. I nearly jumped out of my seat in joy. My elbows rested on the window sill and my face was being cupped by my palms as I watched in awe as he passed. I felt like one of those fan-girls who are infatuated with some famous actor or singer, except for the guy I am infatuated in, is just a normal boy.
"If only he'd even throw a glance at me." I thought, "I'd be a truly happy girl."
Then, as if he'd heard my thoughts or read my mind, he averted his gaze up to my window and looked at me. I gasped in shock and surprise as a blush crept up my cheeks, reaching my ears. He smiled and raised his hand to wave at me, but before he could, a girl linked arms with his ascending one. She was probably his girlfriend since she was so touchy-feely with him, but he seemed kind of irritated. I waved to him even though he wasn't able to return the gesture. Instead he nodded before the girl removed him from my sight.
My heart was beating so fast. Just the fact that he finally noticed me seemed unbelievable. Though I didn't know him personally, I did know that he moved here about 4 years ago. I had watched him grow into a man and my heart filled with envy whenever I though of those girls who got to hang around with him.
"I wish I was one of them," My inner voice said, "I wish I could meet him, talk to him... But talking is the one thing I can't do." I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice Adam standing in my doorway, staring at me.
"Are you okay Tori?" He walked up and tapped my shoulder lightly. He surprised me, but once again I told him "Yes." with a nod. He smiled and closed my curtains before leading me to my computer. That was the only way I could truly communicate with people, typing.
I held the mouse with my right hand and double-clicked open my word processor. I cracked my knuckles and neck before beginning to type. Adam's voice echoed, "So, what subject do you feel like continuing our lessons on today?"
"Art, I feel like painting today." I typed then signaled to my easel, canvases and paints in the corner of my room.
"Art? That's all you study. Don't you think that you have enough paintings for now Tori?"
I shook my head and typed, "No Adam. I don't think one can ever have too many paintings, and anyway, other than writing, painting is the only other way I can express myself. I enjoy it."
"Fine, Victoria, I'll let you paint. But just to forewarn you, you're going to have double lessons of Anatomy tomorrow."
I shuddered at the sentence he just said for two reasons; I hate Anatomy and most of all, I hate the name Victoria. "Don't call me that! You know I hate that name!"
He laughed, "A little teasing never hurt anyone Tori. And you know, maybe if you tried a little harder to make some friends you'd see that."
"Try a little harder to make some friends?" I repeated in my thoughts. What in bloody hell did he mean by that? Does he think it's easy for me to make friends? The bloody man has known me for more than half of my life and yet he says this to me. This is the only thing I hate about Adam, he always does that, he leaves me thinking.
I grunted in anger before setting up my canvas and palette. The curtains were now once again drawn back, the sound of passing cars now flooding my room since I reopened the window. A breeze gently blew upon my face and it messed up my light brown hair a little.
My stool and easel were placed a couple of meters from the window. I sat down, mixed my paints with my brush, and finally the first stroke was made. Blue was my color of choice, a blue that resembled the sky, a blue that reminded me of his eyes. From that stroke grew the entire London skyline as seen from my room.
Whenever I'd paint, I almost literally would get absorbed into another world. A world where there was no wrong and there was only beauty, my personal utopia. Once I'd reach this state of mind, brush strokes would become frantic as if my time there would run out. And like being woken up from a good dream, I'd be brought back to my cruel reality and its imperfections. My interruption was usually Adam or one of my parents coming home from work that day, but that day it was different. Today, it was a pebble.
The small rock flew in through my window and broke through the back of the canvas, ripping my skyline. My eyes widened in shock and I ran to the window to see who would do this to me. Those bastards, if I could let them have a piece of my mind, it wouldn't be a pretty sight. I looked to the person who stood below my window, another rock was in his hand, ready to be launched into my room again, when I noticed......Impossible! It was... him.

"I'm sorry if I broke anything!" He exclaimed, "I couldn't really think of another way to get your attention if you were up there or not." He looked so cute at that moment. He was scratching his head nervously and laughed in the same manner. I returned the laugh until her coughed to change the mood of the moment, "So, what's your name? Mine's Seth, Seth Anwyn."
I panicked. I signaled for him to wait a second, the only way I could respond was to write it down. I frantically searched my room for a piece of paper and a pen or pencil or anything that writes. Once I found what I needed I ran downstairs to him. "This is my chance." I thought, "Seth, I finally get to meet you, face-to-face, instead of admiring from afar."