The man who hated the moon

"That's one small step for .giant leap for man kind." Neil Armstrong said this in 1969 when he became the first person to step foot on the moon.
Scientist, Dr. Herman Mushlam said something similar in 2057 when he blew it up.
***** Dr. Herman Mushlam was a scientist who longed for perfection. From a hairless brush to a spotless car, everything needed to be flawless. Mushlam was such a perfectionist that he could not allow his own mother to get misplaced. For this reason, he lived at home.
Mother was everything to Herman. She meant more to him than his perfectly folded socks. She was more important than any alphabetized CD collection could ever be. She was all this and more. She was dying.
She didn't have any diseases or heart problems, she was just old. 81 years old to be exact and in this day and age 70 was considered old. The year is of course 2056, and after the obesity epidemic 50 years earlier, life expectancy had plummeted.
His mother's increasing age and impending death had Herman a wreck. For weeks he forgot to shut doors as he left rooms. He no longer folded towels after every use. Everything became trivial. There was one thing Herman never lost sight of however, his hatred for the moon. The moon was the one thing in Herman's life that was not perfect, unbroken, and sublime.
Since the time Herman was a baby, lunar light had caused him serious pain. Whenever the silvery rays touched his skin it would boil. 3rd degree burns appeared when it was most severe. Doctors had never seen anything like it. They had no cure, save shelter and daylight.

One day in May, Dr. Mushlam came running out of his lab at the local university with a look of ecstasy on his face. He laughed to himself as he burst through the doors to the outside and squinted when the sun shown on his mustachioed face.
He skipped around the courtyard humming and then ran to his partner's office.
"I've done it!" he yelled with a joy as he ran towards the door labeled Dr. Eric Wade. "I've done it!" he yelled again as he opened the door. "I've done it!" he yelled as Dr. Wade awoke with a start. He had fallen asleep on top of a stack of papers and one refused to let go as he lifted his head to see what all the yelling was about.
"Done what?" he asked through a yawn while wiping his eyes.
"The serum Eric! I've finished it!" said Herman. He then added, "" as he turned and fled the office with his white lab coat flapping in his wake.
Eric came panting into the lab after Herman and his grew big as the fell upon the glass container holding the cherry red liquid. " it work?" he asked amazed.
Though covered by a thick black mustache, the widening of Herman's smile was visible, "Of course it works. It's perfect!"
"I would expect nothing less from you Mushlam."

The serum that had Herman so excited was the solution to his mother's problem. The cherry red liquid held the secret to prolonged life. The drinker could still be killed, but not by age.
"I'm going to give it to mother tonight," said Herman. He then cleared his throat and face grew red as he slowly added, ".date."
Eric was flabbergasted. In his twenty plus years of working with Herman, he had never been on a day. "'re going on a date? Where?"
"I don't know. I have to call her during my lunch break."
Dr. Mushlam did just that. She suggested a 6:35 p.m. showing of a movie at the local theater and, so excited about going on a date, Herman accepted. He didn't realize that when the movie was over, night would by upon them and the moon shining bright.

Herman left the lab for the day at 4:00 and raced home in his Geo Metro to give mother the serum.
He ran up the steps and burst through the front door of his house to find his mother slowly walking out of the kitchen with her walker.
"OH Mamma!" he said with joy, "get rid of that thing will ya?"
"I can't honey," she replied shakily, "I need it for my walkin'."
Herman laughed at this and said, "Not anymore Momma!" and he showed her the liquid with a giant smile on his face.
"OH Hermy! You've finished it!"
"Yes! Yes I have. Now come. Sit and drink it."
Mother slowly walked to the couch and sat. Herman handed her the glass container and with wide eyes he watched her put it to her lips. The cold fluid rushed out of the glass and over her wrinkled lips. Her eyes grew as it flew over tongue and fell down her throat. It was gone in one gulp but after the drinking, mother didn't look so good. Her face was pale and she soon started to shake. Herman jumped from the couch and grabbed his head with his hands.
"Momma," he said tentatively, "Momma what's wrong!" She didn't answer and the shaking continued. Herman ran for the phone. It wasn't in its usually spot and Herman began to get frantic. "Oh why did you do it? Why!? Why did you move the phone Momma!? Where is it!?" Again, she didn't answer but just lay on the couch and shook. Herman broke down. He fell to the floor hands covering his face and he wept. He was so sure the serum was .he had killed his mother. That was all Herman could think as he lay on the floor crying and saying "Why momma!?" over and over.

"Whatcho cryin' for?" It was his mother's voice.
Herman gasped and looked up from the floor. His mother toward over him standing, with out a walker. ".momma.?" He stood up, tears still falling from his eyes. " do you feel?"
"Well, I really want to plant something!"
"Plant something?" he asked quizzically.
"Yeah, you know, gardening?"
"OH Momma!" Herman grabbed his mother and embraced her. He held her for a few moments. She was perfect.
Mother ran, not walked, ran out of the house to scout out a good gardening spot. Herman went to his room to prepare for his date with Penelope. He was picking her up at five so they could eat before the movie.
Herman left the house fifteen minutes later not forgetting to hug and kiss his mother before he did so.
Penelope and Herman enjoyed a lovely dinner at the Olive Garden before heading to the theater. The move ended at 9:45 and as they made their way to the exit of the theater they were deep in conversation.
"I can't believe she let Jack drown like that!" Penelope said with anger. The theater they had gone to showed old movies that used the old Technicolor instead of the Nautica color system that was invented in 2010. The watched "Titanic."
"I know!" Herman agreed as they got closer and closer to the door leading to the moon lit parking lot. "And throwing away that jewel! What was she thinking?"
Herman held the door for Penelope and then exited the theater himself. As he stepped out onto the sidewalk he was immediately stricken with excruciating pain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. He fell backwards onto the pavement. The crowd around him scattered. Herman had smoke coming off of him and Penelope screamed at the sight and the smell of his burning skin. Herman was still screaming and his skin was still burning when blackness overcame him.

Herman woke up in a hospital bed. It was three days after the event. Four months he was hospitalized and put through rehab. Everyday was worse than the one before. Penelope never came to visit, never called, never wrote, she never even answered the phone when Herman called her. He was angry at her distance, he was angry with the constant attention, he was angry that he couldn't leave, but most of all he was angry at the moon. It had ruined his date, it had ruined his life! Something had to be done!
After these four months of hell, Herman had recovered perfectly. His life was back to normal. Penelope, however, still hadn't called so Herman was still very angry.
Everyday in his lab he labored on a way to get back at the moon, then, on one cold January day in 2057, it came to him.
It took him six months to complete this project and he did it all without letting Dr. Wade, or anyone else, know. Sometimes Herman would work 20 hour days, adding things here, removing stuff there, and shifting dohickies around, anything that would make it operational. Finally, in the middle of July, he had finished it. It was big, it was shiny, it was perfect, it was a laser.
But it wasn't just any laser. This laser had the power to take away the one thing that wasn't perfect in Herman's life. It had the power to destroy the moon.

And on August first, that is just what it did. At one o'clock in the morning, when everyone was gone, Herman, wrapped completely in aluminum foil, wheeled the laser out of his lab and into the parking lot. Wearing sunglasses, Herman aimed the laser, which looked very much like a telescope, towards his target. When the tip of the machine was pointing at the center of the silver orb Herman Laughed and clapped his foiled hands together.
"Finally," he said through the foil, "Finally my life will be perfect. I will no longer be a slave to your illumination!" He yelled as he pointed one foil wrapped in the sky. Again he clapped his hands together and laughed before he fired the laser.
A bright green beam as wide as a CD came jetting from the tip of the machine. It soared off into the sky determined to do its duty. The beam traveled fast and it wasn't long before it was out of the atmosphere.
Herman waited on the blacktop, shielding his eyes from the vision corrupting light. Ten minutes after the green glow erupted form the machine, it shut off. Herman looked towards the sky and saw the tail of the light shoot off into space. Five seconds later the sky lit up a bright pink and a sound burst forth greater than any the world has ever known. The explosion was so loud that ground shook beneath him and the machine rolled. In the bright pink sky a ring of blue shot over head and the moon blew apart. Thousands of pieces were seen strewn about before the pink disappeared and the sky fell black. Blacker than it's ever been before. The silver glow of what was once the moon was no more. Herman laughed and danced as he tore of his aluminum foil suit. He stood in his underpants filled with joy and sighed a great relief. "That's one small step for man. One giant leap for my life," he said as, for the first time, he looked up at the night sky, perfect in its moonless shape.

Having been out late enjoying his new freedom, Herman didn't awake until o'clock in the afternoon. He walked into the living room after making his bed and stopped when he heard the television. "Pieces of what is left of the moon are still crashing to earth after this morning's explosion. Authorities still don't know why or how the moon erupted but they claim to have several tips. Thousands of people all around the world have reported hearing problems due to the tremendous noise associated with the moon blast. Experts estimate that it was louder than ten simultaneous space shuttle launchings. It is the loudest noise in recorded history. Hundreds of people have also reportedly been killed by the falling debris. That is all we have at this time but we will keep you updated on this bizarre story. For channel eight news, this is Connie Key."
Herman walked to the kitchen, got a glass of water and walked outside to see if the moon storm was still happening.
He dropped his glass and it shattered, spilling the water, when he saw his mother lying facedown in a pile of upturned dirt, her new garden. Next to her, on the ground, there was a huge piece of moon rock. He ran to her, nearly tripping down the steps and turned her over. Her face, which was the spot of impact, was crushed in. Nothing in her face was recognizable and it was all covered with warm blood. Herman shrieked and dropped his mother back on the dirt. He fell to his knees, vomited, and wept.
After calming himself down to a reasonable manner he called an ambulance. He told them not to hurry; he knew she was already dead.

Later that day, after the ambulance had left with momma, Eric Wade showed up. Eric entered the unlocked house to find Herman crying on the couch.
"She's gone," he said without looking to see who had come through the door.
"Her and four hundred other people," Eric said, "I know you did this." He was very calm, "I found the machine."
"Well, I didn't hide it," said Herman before he burst into another crying spurt.
"Oh, shut up!" said Eric, "Get over it."
Herman was taken aback, ".Eric!"
"I've been telling you for years," Eric said without skipping a beat, "For years! And you still don't get it! Don't you see? You can't live a perfect life! Oh sure, you can throw away a nasty box of cereal, you can turn the thermostat up if you're not warm enough, you can even make chemicals to expand you life! But how far are you willing to go? Your life is not perfect without your mother and you were the reason she died! You can destroy the moon for ruining a date, but are you man enough to destroy yourself for ruining her? You couldn't be perfect in life, so ask yourself this one question Herman, will everything finally be perfect after death?"
After a moment of silence, Herman rose from the couch, whispered something, wipes the tears form his face, walked to his room, and slammed the door.
Eric stood silent for a minute then turned to leave. He cringed when he heard a gun fire from Herman's room.
It wasn't until the funeral that Eric finally understood what Herman had whispered as he walked to his room, "Here I come momma."

The End