Anthony paced slowly back and forth through the alley as he waited for Angel. She should have been back by now…His mind was a mess of worry and paranoia at what could be keeping her so long. Eyes darting back and forth quickly, he scanned the entrance to the alley. Where could she be?

Angel’s boots clomped against the scattered gravel as she came around the corner. Anthony’s face was full of worry as he rushed toward her and held her tightly. The embrace rubbed against bruises on her upper arms that she hadn’t noticed before, and Anthony pulled away as she whimpered and tears streamed down her cheeks. What had he done to her?

“Angel? Honey?” Angel’s face crumpled as the tears poured out faster again, and her body started to shake. Legs slowly giving way and headed toward the gravel, Anthony caught her in his outstretched arms and carried her over to the barrel they used for a fireplace. “Angel?”

She couldn’t speak, and even if she could, she didn’t know what she was going to say. Hope was still sleeping peacefully under the blanket; at least one of her worries was put to rest. Angel dropped the bag of oranges and Anthony’s eyes followed one as it rolled into the dirt.

“What did he do to you?” Tears choked her voice as she tried to get the words out, tried to share the burden that was gnawing away at her soul. She looked up at him and gestured toward the fallen bag.

“Breakfast.” Anthony watched her face as she curled up against him and tears shook her frail body. Angel’s attempts to be strong were slowly ripping her apart.

“Angel what did he-“ He wasn’t even able to finish his sentence before she interrupted him.

“Rape.” His eyes grew wide in horror as her fingers ran across his old brown coat and gripped it tightly in her hands. Angel took a deep breath. “He cuffed me to the bed…” She closed her eyes and Anthony’s gaze fell down to the bruised skin and torn vein in the crook of her elbow. Angel glanced up at him and sighed as she leaned against her friend and whispered simply, “Heroin.”

Tears fell down her cheeks in a rush as Anthony pulled her closer. How could he do something like that to an innocent little girl? He felt responsible for what happened to Angel, like a father for a daughter even though they’d only known each other a few years. But what could he do? Anthony sighed.

Angel pulled at the stack of money still tucked in her underwear and dropped the bag of pears. Anthony’s eyes fell down to the roll of money held together by an old, red rubber band that had been stretched well beyond its limits. An abrupt sound caused them both to jump, and Angel stood up and brushed the tears from her eyes as Hope sat up.

“Angel?” Hope’s voice was soft and scared as she glanced up at her savior and rushed to wrap her arms around the older girl’s legs. Angel pulled her close.

“I’ve got breakfast.” Hope nodded softly as her eyes met Angel’s and noticed the bruises on her arms. Angel fumbled with her arms trying to hide the lavender-colored skin peering out against the ivory and tried to keep her voice calm. “Would you rather have an orange or a pear?”

Hope’s small fingers disappeared inside the bag of pears and extracted one twice the size of her small fist. The care bear blanket was held tightly in her left hand, the small fist dragging it like a security blanket or a favorite stuffed animal. Her glacier blue eyes stared up into Angel’s green ones and mirrored the hurt reflected inside of them amidst the tears. The small girl’s eyes were full of a mixture of question and worry. Hope bit into the pear and chewed on the small piece with satisfaction as her stomach stopped grumbling.

Angel wiped the tears from her eyes and slowly turned her gaze up to meet Anthony’s. Where would they go now? What would they do after her encounter with Nick? What would they do for money? She sighed.

Anthony’s voice broke through her thoughts.

“Honey?” Angel’s eyes finally came back into focus as the tears stopped flowing. Anthony looked at her with worry and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“It’ll be okay.” He rubbed her back softly. Hope watched them embrace for a couple of seconds before rushing forward again to wrap her arms tightly around their legs. Angel glanced down at the younger girl’s face pressed into her jeans and smiled softly despite her encounter with Nick.

“We need to find some place to stay.” Her voice came out as a choked whisper. Anthony nodded. But where could they go? Angel shook off the haunting thought, took off the brown leather coat resting on her shoulders and handed it to Anthony.

“This will keep you warmer.” He nodded sympathetically. Angel’s attempts to pull herself together were agonizing for him to watch. Watching her trying to put together something that had been broken, shattered for years, only to keep missing a piece or two of the masterpiece. It broke his heart. Anthony glanced up at her.

“There’s an apartment for rent on the second floor of the Monere building on 72nd avenue,” he offered. Angel merely nodded. What else could he say?

Angel’s body felt like jello about to sink down into the ash-colored gravel. Hope hesitantly pulled away from her legs. Anthony watched as her body began to tremor and shake like a small volcano about to erupt. Angel’s mind was spinning like a top out of a never-ending story; never slowing down, no stopping to breathe. Home, clothes, food, sleep…. What was she forgetting?

The money on the ground peered up at her in all of its haunted green brilliance. Of course. What would she do for work? Anthony gave her a fleeting look as if he knew exactly where her mind was. What was she going to do? She shook the thought from her mind and forced a weak smile.

“Anyone up for apartment hunting?” Hope’s eyes met Anthony’s in deep sympathy for a brief second before drifting to the ground. Far in the back of their minds they could sense how hard Angel was fighting for normalcy amid her tattered body and disrupted mind. Anthony shook his head softly.

“Aren’t you supposed to go see Danny today?” Angel shrugged. She couldn’t remember. Hope’s high voice broke through Angel’s silence.

“Can…can we go back to the park?” Her small pink tongue stumbled slightly over the words that she pronounced with near crystal clarity. “Please?”

The look on Hope’s face transported Anthony back fifteen years to giving his stepdaughter Tanya a piggyback ride. The memory brought tears to his eyes. How old was she now? How was Sheila? He closed his eyes and shook his head violently as if to throw the thoughts out of existence.

Angel’s face was a mixture of wonder and sadness as she thought about Hope’s question. The little girl’s anticipation of living a normal life again mirrored her own in a deep, passionate way, and deep down Angel prayed that someday they would all find home. Shoving the thoughts lurking like vultures from her mind, she nodded at Hope with an artificial smile. The little girl flung herself at Angel’s legs again and then grabbed her hand expectantly. Anthony’s eyes flooded with tears.

Angel glanced toward her friend with a sad, questioning smile as if to ask, “are you alright?” His only answer was a forlorn shake of the head. Hope tugged on Angel’s hand, bringing her back to reality.

“Please?” Angel nodded again, and Hope pulled her toward the entrance/exit of their dead-end alley.

“We’ll be back at…noon?” Hope nodded with a shy smile and waved timidly at Anthony. He returned the wave half-heartedly, and watched as the pair disappeared around the corner.

It appeared they all had secrets.