My first of 2004

All the screaming and yelling,

Yet all I hear is silence,

With all the hugging and kissing,

I still feel like I’m outside.

The bright light, fast beats,

Tearing at my senses.

My lips forming a fake smile,

My laughter is only a sound, nothing else.

New Years Day of 2004,

And I’m here

Among the dancers,

The drunks and druggies,

The old and the underage,

I am here wondering why I am still alive.

I’ve been pulled away from the edge so many times,

Then I’m left all alone again,

Fending away all the pain,

All in vain.

Stuck in a cycle where hope always dies.

A/N: First poem of this year… Happy New Year.