Realization

Lying in a pool of blood,

Is that me? With cuts across my thighs?

In places where no one can see them?

I’m I the one holding the razor with shaking hands,

And trying to pierce my hands?

Rip my throat open?

To want to be found in a pool of red.

Maybe then they’ll realize,

My smiles and happiness is a product of pills,

That the pills are what pushes my anger aside,

That when the magic wears off,

I’m just an angry teenager,

Angry at the world,

At everyone,

In love with a man who’s not coming back…

Never coming back.

If I do die,

Will people remember me?

Visit me where my ashes blow in the wind?

And realize I can’t stand pain and stress,

That I didn’t need anymore problems then I already had,

That my cry for help was genuine.

Will the people, who have seen my tears,

Realize they have seen my emotional turmoil,

In all it’s naked glory?

Who knows?

I’m just another girl to trample over and use,

Maybe no-one does care,

And maybe,

I really am alone.