A/N just a little bit of Angsty holiday fluff. I know it's a little bit late for the holidays, but hey, it's still good.

The room was full of happy people, though it seemed oddly mirthless. He sat alone on the side of the room, watching glumly as the rest of the group partied on. He hated parties like this, especially on a day like this. Christmas Eve. His least favorite day of the year. It's why he loved this production so much, he could relate to it so well. He got to play someone who he really was, he got to play a character that was very nearly him.

He was so much like his character, so much like the infamous Ebenezer Scrooge that he portrayed on stage in so many ways. How much he hated Christmas, how he didn't care about working straight through the holiday that was supposed to be all cheer and merriment. Oh yes, he loved his character so much because it allowed him to be who he really was in life, because he could let everything go and be free when he acted.

He didn't even have to act the role. The words felt so natural to him, so familiar. He always had a front, a façade, a disguise that he wore, all the time. He always acted so happy, so cheery, trying to break the stereotype of a tortured artist, but always that stereotype caught up to him. He always acted the way he was supposed on to Christmas, always acted the grateful happy person, when in reality he was so much like Scrooge.

This was his chance to escape and forget about his façade, the protective, opaque wall that protected and shielded him. This was his chance to let everything that he protected out, this was his chance to let down his guard and really be who he was. This was his chance to truly free himself, release the weight of the world which he carried on his shoulders, because that's what it felt like to him, always having to be happy, always having to act so cheery. This character was him, it's why he played the role so well.

How much the critics loved him! But it was only in this role. Every other role that he played in, he was nothing more than just another actor, he was just the common stock of New York, the infinite pool of people to choose from. But for the month every year that he performed in this beautiful small little theater, for the month that he spent in this beautiful, rustic old university town, where nearly every building was made of stone, and all the windows had stained glass, he truly made his role come alive.

He gave the Young Ebenezer Scrooge, the young man who had not yet grown up to be the cynical man that was synonymous with Christmas anti-cheer. He gave the role of the still optimistic young man a whole new air. He made Fezziwig's party seem like the place to be and made the audience want to jig along with him. He made Belle's rejection of him seem all the more poignant and heartbroken. And the power that he put into the one first "bah humbug" had to be one of the most moving moments of the play.

Every year, he would get that same phone call, asking him to play the role yet again, and every year the man would agree. And every year he stole the show away from the rest of the cast, but no one ever seemed to mind. He was the best for the role. He brought new life to the role, he brought vibrancy to the set, to the rest of the cast. The way that he portrayed the young man who slowly turned away from the holidays was one of the greatest performances in the world.

This was his safe haven every year. This was the best thing in the world for him, now he had a reason to not like the holidays. Now he could work through the holidays and no one would mind, because he was busy bringing cheer to everyone else's Christmas. Now he had a reason to be away from his family over Christmas, a family that he never even had. A family that was nothing more than people that shared a name as him, nothing more. This was his place to allow himself to be an angsty man, allow him to truly become his character.

The solemn young actor looked up at the party from over the rim of his glass, only to note one of his cast mates making a beeline straight towards him, with no signs of stopping. He let a slight smile play across his lips as the other man approached Always appearing to be as cheery and jolly as Santa Clause himself. Always seeming to be having a good time. "Jason!" The other man said, waving his arms in a sign of both greeting and a sign of desperation. "Don't make me go Marley on you" the two men shared a slight chuckles as the other one took the seat beside Jason.

"Seriously though," the other man started, "Why the long face, it's Christmas Eve!" Jason shrugged at his question. "Come on, come join te party, it's actually not as pathetic as it looks from this vantage point." The other man's blond hair framed his face, cascading down to the nape of his neck in a slight wave. The large hook nose that occupied so much of his face seemed so much harsher when under natural light, and not under makeup and stage lighting. He looked so much uglier in normal light, his harsh features were accented so, but at the same time, he seemed all the more handsome.

He got up from his chair, and extended his arm towards Jason, to lead his solemn cast mate into the party. "Andrew, no, I don't want to." The man rolled his eyes, and kept his arm outstretched, not giving up.

"Aw, c'mon." Jason's emerald-green eyes met Andrew's clear mountain-sky blue ones, and both stares were filled with determination. But the green eyes, staring out from beneath dark, deep chocolate lashes and eyebrows finally lowered, and he extended his arm slowly to meet the one that was already waiting for him.

Just that one touch sparked something inside of him, something he could not place. It sent sharp shivers through his spine. HE felt a jolt of something that he had never felt before, a jolt of something he couldn't explain, a jolt of something that he had not quite felt before, something that he had felt only weakly before this moment. It was something new, something different, something that he had no felt with anyone, not male or female, it was something completely better than anything he had ever felt.

Jason had never pictured himself with the man before. Every man that he had lusted after before had been, there was no other way to describe it, but they were all sexy. They were all the boy band types; they were all bleached blond, well built, with big puppy dog-ish eyes and a cute boyish face. Your stereotypical twink boy. Andrew was far from that. Andrew had pale blue eyes, and an ugly hook nose that took up most of face. He was handsomely ugly. He was ugly, but somehow, his lack of looks seemed to suit him, they went well with him. Much more of an Alan Rickman than an Ewan McGregor.

But Andrew had such charisma, such wonderful personality. He had such a commanding presence in everything he did. it was why he was such a great actor. He could really control the audience, he could have them eating out of the palm of his hand with barely more than a few words. He knew how to act, he knew how to control an audience. And he knew it, and everyone around him knew it. Andrew was good in everything he was in, Jason was only good in this role.

He led his friend throughout the party, stopping here and there to chat, forcing Jason to converse with the other cast mates and the theater staff, before Andrew walked outside, and Jason followed him. It was a cold night for Christmas Eve, and he shivered slightly. There was snow falling gently around them, covering the trees with a thin white coat. The old stone town looked so beautiful with the snow, and the little bit of light coming from the decorations on some peoples houses.

The road before them was barren when it was usually full from people coming to and fro from the train station at the end of the street. "Andrew?" he asked, puzzled as to why the other man would lead him outside in the snow, when neither of them was wearing a coat.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Was all the other man said for a long minute. The two of them just stood there watching the snow, before Andrew turned towards him, and looked him over long and hard.

Green eyes met blue ones once again, and this time there was a spark between them, something totally indescribable, but they both knew what it was. Andrew smiled wryly, accenting the crows feet around his pale blue eyes, and to Jason it seemed all the more endearing. They were the same age, not even thirty, but the other man seemed so much older, so much harsher when it was the man that didn't even look his age that had had the hardships in life.

Andrew had grown up so privileged, he'd come from a good family, he'd been good at everything he did. The only thing Jason was good at was hiding. Hiding his feelings, hiding who he really was. It's why he was such a phenomenal actor. He'd come from a poor family from the middle of Brooklyn; he'd had to work as hard as he could to get to where he was. But he still always looked so cheery, so happy. It was ironic that the other man, who'd gone through life without a care in the world, was the one who looked years beyond him.

Jason had been the one who had loved and lost so many times before. It was why he hated Christmas with such a passion. Christmas was a time to be with your family, to be with the ones that you loved. He had no family; he had no one to love. Andrew had just never loved anyone in his life, the perpetual playboy, not caring about anyone that happened to fall into bed with him. Now, now they had each other, and there was no denying that there was something obviously between them.

Now, as they each looked into each other's eyes, as he allowed Andrew to see through the façade, they were no longer anything. They were human, and that was it, they weren't rich or poor, good or bad, old or young, troubled or carefree. At that moment as they stood in the snow, the great wooden doors of the theater behind them, they were men, and nothing more. Andrew broke his gaze to stare at the door, where a single sprig of mistletoe hung, and took a tentative step towards Jason.

He was afraid, they both were. They were terrified at the feelings between them. Never before had Jason felt so strongly for a man, and never before and Andrew felt so strongly period. Finally, cautious feet found themselves bringing the couple closer, and cautious arms reached for each other. They found themselves in a tight embrace, one that sent shivers down each of their spines, before cautious lips found one another. The snow fell around the couple, but when they were cold just minutes before, they were warm, oblivious to the weather around them. They had each other, and that was all that mattered to them.