Drabble - where everybody knows your name

Day 1 – 01/05/04

Author: newtypeshadow

Rating: PG – light cussing

Summary: Think it’s hard moving to a new place? Try having baggage attached to your name.

It wasn't until I went out into the human territories to seek my fortune (pass a class, actually) that I found out my name was already taken. By a super star. Who my mom happened to think was damn sexy while she was pregnant with me. Needless to say, not looking a thing like Johnny Depp didn't stop me from getting mobbed whenever someone said my name.

It was almost worse trying to buy things for my apartment on the telephone. Fans would pop in on the line giggling nervously, or trying not to breathe loudly so I wouldn’t know they were listening in on my calls. I gave that up after two fanboys showed up at my doorstep, and the computer incident, wherein a crazed fan called me a liar and then screamed at me for leaving my wife and children and moving to San Francisco.

What the hell?

Pirates of the Caribbean came out “in movie theaters everywhere” a month after I arrived. My mentor elf, El’Lissan, was gracious enough to take me, explaining without words why everyone’s been giving me shit. My mom was right: Depp is gorgeous. That’s really all we have in common. I’m like most elves from Illira: tall, lithe, elegant, attractive, androgynous. Depp is...well, I suppose he’s tall. Attractive. He’s definitely not blonde though. His eyes aren’t green. And I really don’t think Depp changes into large, carnivorous cats like panthers and tigers and mountain lions when he gets home; not that I can do that now that I’m in human territory for the next five-years. (Damn that stupid teacher for not mentioning this as a requirement—no wonder everyone was taking the other Human Studies class...)

El’Lissan set up a computer and the internet in my apartment. After much cursing, one-finger typing, and numerous attempts to speed it up with magic only to find my limiter (earring) shocked me like some stupid beast collar, I realized how much trouble being named Johnny Depp was going to be. El’Lissan agreed.

His human name is Devon Mitchell. We’re getting mine changed tomorrow. I don’t think the process is normally this fast, but just because I'm not allowed to use magic doesn’t mean no one else is. I’d bet gold there was some serious string-pulling and mind-scrambling going on. Namewise, I thought Clark Kent was generic enough not to belong to somebody famous, but no such luck.

Who the hell is Superman?

AN: I joined a livejournal group called Writing Days (). The goal is to write 25 drabbles/short stories/somethings in 25 consecutive days. Basically, get you to write a little bit every day. This was my Day 1 post.