Hostility…Restrained

“Down with gays.”

That sentence is possibly the greatest bane of my life.  It seems that my life is in for far too much trouble than others.  Abso-bloody-lutely wonderful.  I write fanfiction, you see, and I receive reviews from them.  Due to my own orientation and overactive imagination, I put many of the characters—possibly enemies—into romantic relationships, whatever gender they are.  I’m mostly inclined to write what is known as “shoujo-ai” in America and properly known as “yuri.”

In case you didn’t know, that’s a pretty way of saying stories involving two women in a romantic relationship with one another.

I love writing these kinds of stories.  Sometimes the pairing just makes more sense to me rather than a generic partners-in-love story with a boy and girl.  Other times it’s canon, and I would feel utterly terrible about splitting them up.  And sometimes, I make up something to hook up a couple just because I think it would make an interesting story.

Of course, not everyone seems to even remotely level with the idea of homosexuality.  Some people say that being a homosexual is a bad thing—a way to punish a character that they do not personally care for.  Some people don’t even care about the characters and say that being a homosexual is a disgusting, filthy thing.

And though I write this, I know it will change nothing.  People—no, humans, are not wired to accept something they cannot understand or do not personally hold with.  Thusly, we have had severe problems with our fellow man.  Those of different skin color, gender, nationality, belief, and political party are prosecuted.  Even people who say they are totally without prejudice have some kind of festering distrust of some kind of peoples somewhere in the back of their minds.

I am no exception.  I never said that I was a perfect person—I’ve got plenty of problems and flaws in my life.  But I did not start a self-study, now did I?

A thought occurred to a friend of mine, who is a homosexual, about the situation we are in.  My friend told me that being a homosexual is just a bit like being an African-American, or Asian, or whatever people discriminated openly until a few years back.

Though some people still do not accept those of different races, they are now realized peoples and are under the same laws as everyone else.  My friend told me that the hate for homosexuals would probably go underground after a few years—just like it did for those of other races.

Unfortunately for my patience and sanity, my own thoughts after this were not so wonderful.  Hatred going underground is fine for some people, but I don’t understand it.  The underlying disgust is still there.  I have heard so many sermons in my life about how homosexuality is wrong, a sin, and how all we homosexuals are going to burn in hell that I have lost all faith in my fellow man.

Yes, I have indeed looked in a Bible and found the passage where it says that men shall not lie with other men.  Yes, I read it.  No, I do not believe it.  Why, might you ask?  God did not write the Bible.  It was written by backwards, pre-prejudiced, foolish mankind.  I do not believe that God spoke unto his children to hate each other for what they are and what he made them to be.

This may sound like yet another sermon, but I don’t see why people have to deny their basic instincts and hide what they really are.  If God—whatever the hell created this world and let us “evolve” into the “greatest” species in the universe—truly loved us, he would not discriminate against us and would let us live our lives.  If God created humanity out of love, wouldn’t he make sure that our lives are without sin so we can return to him after death?

However, I have no faith in anything above.  That last bit of ranting was just standard for whatever fanatics of faith might be reading.  I don’t believe any of it—death is death to me, and I believe more in instant karma and fate.

So, as I read through my fanfiction’s reviews and scan the ones cursing and damning homosexuality, I find myself with less and less faith in humanity’s grand place in the way of the world.

Oh, one last thing.  Go right ahead and call me a “fag” too.  I wouldn’t care much, but it’s the truth that I’m not going to deny.