What is this red liquid running down my shirt? Is it ketchup? No, ketchup does not soak so quickly. Let me pick up a sample on my finger. It is too dark a red, and too runny...Food quality is degenerating again! Not even KETCHUP is safe!! What is the world coming to?!

...What is this stick poking out of my shirt? It itches. The ketchup is flowing out of there. Was it in a hollow container that exploded on contact? POISONED KETCHUP! NOOOOOOOOO!!!

I must now go complain to the Ketchup companies. But...I am feeling...strangely weak...the poison must be kicking in...no...must stand up....good. Walk to the door...the ketchup is dripping off my clothes. It will take forever to clean. Perhaps I could buy lots of burger buns and soak them in that and then make hamburgers...poisoned ketchup...this world is going crazy again...

I should poison some mustard and put it in an exploding stick and give it to the ketchup company...*coughcough* feeling faint now...*thunk*