Author: karmakaze PM
About my fear and mixed feelings for guys...just wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way...Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst - Words: 245 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 01-16-04 - id: 1498826
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
They're everywhere I don't want to be
Everything I don't want to feel
Some do, and some don't look at me
Hypocritical and painfully unreal
Everywhere they are, they remind me
Forcing me to remember it all
I had one, but I was still lonely
Forcing me to admit and fall
I hate being touched, mind you this
But what do any of them care?
I actually dread getting my first kiss
Which no one considers fair
But why do I feel like I need them so badly?
Like I'm worthless without them near
When they've ruined me so sadly
And caused me a Pandora's box of fear
What would the guy I like think of me?
If he knew I was so d**n afraid?
If he knew I'd grow to mistrust all guys I'd see?
Or how often I've been betrayed?
It's not like I've had it worse than any other girl
I've only had two boyfriends in my life
But the thought of what's ahead just makes me hurl
I'm not sure I ever want to be a wife
I watch those other girls make out at my school
And smile as if that guy could be the one
I get disgusted like an immature little fool
And I know I'm really not much fun