Author's note: Although this uses my second to best friends nickname (a name she doesn't like for some reason) it is not based on her.

Kettle

Kettle, Kettle is so bad

Kettle, Kettle really is mad

I ate Kettle oh such a lot

Because her face is one big dot

Kettle, Kettle is such a freak

She is really such a geek

Drastic measures must be taken

If she knew this she would be shaken

She is really such a prick

And she likes sucking dick!