Can't Understand

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I just can't understand...
What do I feel?
Can't understand,
Is this real?

I told him...
Yes,
I told him.
Was it best?

No... no it wasn't,
I should've kept it to myself.
Now I don't know what he thinks,
Not he, himself.

But what do I do?
I think I love him...
But what do I do?
My situation looks grim...

Oh... did I say that?
Darn, I did,
Oh, what the hell?
Who am I to kid?

Sure, I like him...
Sure, a chance at love...
But is it true?
Do I have anything to be proud of?

No... he's my light,
My hope, my... life?
He's there to make me happy,
And I'm not a wife...

But I did it...
I told him...
I ended it...
And now it looks grim...