i found hell in your hands, clutched tight
wadded up like a dirty secret given to an equally
violated child, tacit & tattooed well
forgiveness always escaped you, hold that
grudge like you held the world

throw it through a window
'cause it wasn't what you thought you wanted

break down the images that crawl along
your throat, words you'll never say and why should you?
who's going to listen to discount shoes with
broken laces? nobody with the power to give you
your freedom, sit with your jarred thumb and gashed-
scar smile, but lips that give good grace to a
roadie or two. you never wanted fame just -
something extreme, the farther you fall the closest
you come to what you believe to be a
rose-tinted salvation

so you run your lines and walk the tracks thinkin'
maybe the railroad will one day come screaming
down the streets of new orleans the city where
you stopped being such a child

obligations and responsiblity drown you
there's no lifeguards here they've all got meetings to go to
so you just shut up and swallow like you were meant to
blind to the brightest of lights, you'll never see
what's right in front of you

walk away and leave them begging for more?
that's the motto, right? but you never expected to
be the one wishing you had something else
from someone else. self-reliant still but even the
loneliest of lost kittens need some kind of
pack to run with, to dominate, to transfix.

the sharpest smile the lightest eyes
that energy, sticking and stretching, slow but
strong, suck the marrow from the bones of
boys next door, maybe because you don't have
a door anyway, crawl through the power lines
sleep netted on their veins, the silver-black
structure cocooned to call forth a baby born
before even babylon had a breath of its own
the loveliest low-born bitch of them all

another lifetime called you queen and of what?
everything, crown and all, lady of the towering skyscraper
and straight-laced sidewalks

well, you've got all the answers
in your dirty-girl chic, your guttersnipe sweetness
truth is you care more than you'd ever been called to
but your business is other people and never yourself
not because you're unselfish not because you're kind
but because you don't want to deal with what's underneath
the layers of highways and triple-dog-dares

you change a thousand worlds without leaving your name
maybe you don't remember anymore but you were a townie once too
you had an address a few lifetimes ago, but those spins on
the dharma wheel have left you contagious and confused
we'll do what you do: we won't think about it

and though you sleep in streets you seem
rising higher still than the gods: those more talented,
more beautiful, more intelligent, more expensive
are envious and they don't know why

you never get caught.

jump off your tallest cloud because
that's what you do: the dangerous
we'll find out
if even alleycats have nine lives.