"Longing for What I've Lost"

Longing.
Just not the right word,
It it?
No.
No, it's not.

I miss you
Will do
Just
Fine.

Because I do.
I miss you.
I miss you so much,
That I cannot
Even
Explain.
I attempt to draw
Some sort of connection
With which to illustrate my point.

Words
Images
Metaphors

But the phrases feel dead in my mouth.
They have lost all meaning
And ring:

Hollow
Empty
False.

It has all been done before.

I miss you,
And I am afraid.
Doubts fill my waking mind,
A cacophony of prodding questions.
What if?
What if I no longer matter?
What if you've forgotten me?
I do not know,
How could I?
I wait:

Unknowing
Afraid
Still missing you.

I miss you
And I am afraid:
Afraid of myself.
What if I forget?
Day by day,
I feel my memories slipping,
Slipping away,
Like grains of sand in an hourglass,
Or popping bubbles of quantum foam
At the edges of the universe.
The sky of azure paint,
Lit on edge with heaven's fire
Calls your name to mind.
But that is all.
Where is your voice?
I cannot remember it anymore!
The lines of your face,
So faithfully taken down in my memory:
Still there
But fuzzy
Faint
Fading.

Why do I even care anymore?

Wait,
I already know that answer,
Don't I?

Heavens,
How I hate this.