I lay back in the oversized bath and let my hair flow out around my head like a halo in the water, although I felt nothing like an angel today. Marriage; it was such a scary word to me. I had never even thought about getting married to Steve or anyone else, it was such a grown up thing to do and I felt anything but adult. I wished I had known, I wished I had somehow known that Steve was working for me, that he wasn’t seeing me because he wanted to see me everyday forever. Maybe I would never have slept with Dom, maybe I would never have got to the point of hating him for leaving me alone every night, maybe things could have been different. Hannah felt awful for telling me but she knew that she had to; she knew only too well that I would’ve left him soon had she done nothing. I would have, I was ready to do it this morning and it had nothing to do with feeling comfortable with Dom or anything like that. It was more to do with me, more to do with how I was feeling about the situation. About how much the situation sucked.

I stood up and let the water drip down before grabbing my huge towel from the radiator and wrapping myself up in it. I wandered aimlessly into my bedroom, fishing my mobile phone out of the washing basket and collapsing backwards onto my bed. I had a message from Steve, guilt punched me in my already tender stomach and I inhaled deeply as I read it. He was coming over tonight with flowers, chocolates and apologies; the memory of the night before rushed in and I couldn’t stop crying. I just didn’t know if I was the kind of person who could alleviate their own guilt by confessing, would it make everything better or just ruin the one thing I have always been able to rely on? Steve couldn’t find out about Dom, there was no way I could do that to him, it was a huge mistake, like those women in magazines who sleep with the best man on their hen night but still marry their husbands because they love them. It was a slip up, a stupid slip up. And then came the real question, did I actually want to marry Steve? Did I love him enough? Did I want to be his wife for the rest of my life? There was a quiet knock at the bedroom door, thinking it was Hannah with more sweet tea I shouted for her to come in but it wasn’t Hannah, it was Dom. My life is like a soap opera all the time, I swear to God, thankfully Dom had a cup of tea so I forgave his untimely visit.

“Hannah called me,” he explained. I was shocked; Hannah was heading the clean up crew of all time. “She told me what was going on so I figured I should come over,” I nodded mutely, I had nothing to say, I had no thoughts or feelings on the matter. “I’m not going to say anything about last night, okay? I’m not that kind of guy, I think you and Steve are great together and I don’t want to fuck with that,”

“Thank you,” I managed to mumble into my tea-cup. I sat up and laid my hand on his knee, squeezing it gently and allowing him to kiss my cheek. “He’s coming over tonight, probably going to propose,” Dom nodded silently, Hannah had obviously dished all the dirt. “I’m sorry you got dragged into my relationship nightmare, I never would have… well, if I’d have known, we never would have…” I was no good at this, I could never apologise or say goodbye. My two failings in life.

“It’s okay, that’s why I came over. Everything’s fine, me and Hannah have talked and I’m cool with her and Matt and I knew you would always be with Steve, it was meant to be. I was just a… diversion,” he laughed, I couldn’t help but smile. Dom was probably the nicest guy I had ever met in my life, he was sweet and kind but I didn’t love him. I loved Steve and I wanted to be with him. It seemed bizarre that it took a visit from the one guy I thought was going to split me and Steve up to make me realise that I wanted to be with him forever but… sometimes, you should embrace the bizarre and take it as it comes. It always seems to be the right thing for me.

“Thanks for coming over, Dom. It means a lot,” I said, knowing it sounded cheesy but not really caring. “I’ve gotta get ready so…”

“Yeah, I’ve gotta go to work anyway. I just wanted to pop over,” he said, still smiling as he kissed me goodbye and left my bedroom and the flat. And I was back to feeling weird but warm inside; things were getting back to normal all around me and that was a good thing. Hannah had done her job well, I threw my towel into the washing basket and pulled on a pair of clean jeans and my Incubus t-shirt before going into the living room and throwing out all those empty bottles that did nothing now but represent my night of infidelity, uncertainty and bad pizza.

“Feeling better?” she asked from the kitchen as I threw the bin bag into the plastic swing-bin sitting in the corner.

“Yeah, I do,” I smiled, pouring out a glass of orange juice from the fridge. “Thank you for doing this, Hannah. You didn’t have to sort out my mess,”

“But if I didn’t then you would’ve said ‘no’ to Steve and now you’re gonna say ‘yes’, right?” she grinned and when I nodded she shrieked loudly and jumped on me from across the room. Holding me close and squeezing me so tightly, I thought I might die from a severe lack of oxygen.

And so, that was that. My night of passion with Dom was nothing but a fast disappearing memory of my unhappiness, Dom and Hannah had sorted out their differences and now Hannah was happy with Matt and Dom was still our friend, and finally, Steve and I were getting engaged. We were going to get married and be happy and live together for the rest of our lives. I hadn’t even thought about babies and telling my parents or any of that grown up stuff because right now, I was more interested in thinking about Barbie and Ken’s wedding; a big white gown or a simple affair with only close friends and family? There were so many things to think about.

THE END