Valentine’s Day

Jess woke up and dragged herself out of bed.  She wandered across her room and looked up at her calendar.  February 14th.  There was a big heart sticker on the calendar.  It had a few lines of black permanent market to cross out what she had written there.  The sticker and the writing were from what seemed like a different life.  She wasn’t like that any more.

            Jess began to get dressed, putting on all black.  Black undergarments, black pants, and a black shirt.  Her hair was black, as it had always been, and she didn’t bother to comb the awful tangles out of it.  She opened her makeup box, pushing aside the pinks and reds and purples and glitter.  There, at the bottom, was some makeup from a Halloween costume years ago.  She smudged the black makeup across her lips and eyelids, looking at herself in the mirror as she slammed the box closed.  She slipped into her black sneakers and opened her jewelry box.  She reluctantly slid on a gold ring with a red stone in it onto her finger.  It was too festive, but she had worn it every single day since she got it on her thirteenth birthday and she wasn’t about to end that now.  It was supposed to bring good luck, and she needed that luck to make it through the day.

            She watched her reflection reluctantly.  “This isn’t right.  I should have worn white today.”  She wanted so badly to open her closet and look at the dress, but she couldn’t bear it.  Anyway, she knew exactly what she’d see.  A beautiful white wedding dress.  She would have looked like a princess.  Instead, she looked dead.

            The door opened and slammed shut as Lana came in.  “Hey, Jess.  You okay?”

            Jess left her room and met Lana, who was dressed in pinks and reds.  Lana gasped.  “Jessica!  What exactly are you trying to do, dressing like that?  And the makeup looks awful!”

            Jess rolled her eyes.  “Today was supposed to be my wedding day.  What use is Valentine’s Day without love?”

            “I love you, Jess.”

            Jess took a step backwards.  “Lana…”

            “I’m just trying to help you feel better.”

            Jess reached into a drawer and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter.  “Thanks, but it’s not going to make me dress up in hearts and eat candy and give stupid cards.”

            Lana tried to wrench the cigarette out of Jess’s hands.  “Jessica, don’t do that!”

            “I understand your concern, but today’s different, okay?”  She lit up her cigarette.  “Valentine’s Day is tough enough when you’re single.  It’s even tougher when you just found out that your boyfriend was cheating on you.  But you know when it’s worse?  When today was supposed to be the day you married him.  There is a wedding dress collecting dust in my closet on Valentine’s Day!”

            “Can I see you in it?” Lana asked.

            “What?”
            “Will you please put on your dress?  For me?”

            Jess sighed.  “I can’t!  It was just a waste of money, that’s all.”

            “Just do what I say, Jess.  I mean, it’s not like I can possibly depress you more.  And would it kill you to pretend you’re happy?”

            “I can only hope it would.”

            Lana ushered Jess into the bathroom and washed off her makeup.  Then, she made Jess change into her wedding gown.  Jess sat patiently as Lana fooled around with hair and makeup and then let Jess look in the mirror.  “Tell me, Jess, what guy wouldn’t want this?”

            Jess looked at herself in the full-length mirror.  The dress, the veil, the shoes… it was all like she had wanted.  She could almost feel Jesse, her ex-fiancé, next to her, smell the flowers of an invisible bouquet, hear the priest saying the whole wedding thing.  Her lips desperately wanted to sing out “I do,” but there was no use.  It was too late.  She looked at Lana.  “It was all a fairy tale.  It was never going to happen.”

            “What are you talking about?”

            “Not to be conceited, but I had everything.  Everything.  I had to lose something.  It happened to be Jesse.”  She began to sing quietly to herself.  “Everything.  I had everything.  So something had to go.  Everything.  I had everything.  And you… you had to go.”  She turned to get a piece of paper and jot down her lyrics quickly.  “It should have been the best day, but it feels like the last.  It turned out so unhappy when I should have had a blast.  And I want to make this all go away.  But I can’t… it’s Valentine’s Day.”  She quickly added some verses and gave Lana a hug.  “Thank you!  This is great!”

            Lana smiled.  “Look to the positive: you can get some great revenge songs out of this relationship.  You’re next album can be ‘Wrath of the Jessica’ or something.”

            Jess shrugged.  “Doesn’t have much of a ring to it.  Maybe ‘Teardrops.’  That sounds cool.  I’ll think about it.  For now, I have my song.”

            “What’s it called?”

            Jess smiled as she pulled out a T-shirt with hearts on it.  “Valentine’s Day.”