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“Ana, tell me what’s on your mind.” Her therapist, Dr. Hanson says as she watches Ana fidget with her watch.

“ I don’t want to tell you what’s on my mind, I don’t want to be here.” Ana snaps, as she looks up from her hand and into Dr. Hanson’s eyes.

“ Then why are you here?”

“ Because I’m forced to.” Ana says as she sits back in her seat.

“ Because if not, you have to go to an institution.” The doctor points out as she watches Ana closely.

“ I’m not going back there.” Ana says as she clenches her teeth. Thinking about the institution she spent a year at, brings out the worse in her. The doctors decided it would be better if she was out in the world but only as long as she does therapy.

She was in the Ferncliff institution from the age of 17 to 18. Ana’s now 20, she’s been living at a brownstone, owned by Jackie Green, an elderly woman 65, she’s become like a grandmother to Ana.

Dr. Henson just took Ana’s case, her other therapist, moved to another state. Ana didn’t care to much about getting a new therapist, she’s never liked any of them, she believes no one can help her, all they do is waste her time.

“ I understand you don’t want to go back, so let’s not make this so hard. We can start off slow, tell me about where you live now .” Dr. Henson says as she rests her pad on her lap.

“ It’s nice, Jackie’s like the family I don’t have anymore.” Ana says as she tries to show no emotion when she thinks about her family, the way they died, the way she couldn’t save them.

“ It says here, you have nightmares. Are they still as bad?” Dr. Henson asks, but Ana doesn’t say a word, she just stares at the floor.

“ Ana, you can sit there and not say a word but you still have to come and see me. It’ll just be harder on you if you keep it locked inside.” She explains.

“ Fine, I’ll talk.” Ana says as she sits up and rests her hands on her thighs as she looks for the words to say, she doesn’t know how to explain what goes through her head. “ I still have the nightmares.” She quietly says.

“ What are they about?” Dr. Henson asks, glad to see Ana open up. She knows a lot about Ana’s case, some of it brought her to tears.

“ About…. Everything. About… how things use to be, about that night.” Ana says as she tries to hold back tears.

“ Can you tell me what you see as you’re talking to me?” Dr. Henson asks as she looks into Ana’s glossy eyes.

“ It’s dark…. It was dark that night. I woke up and looked over at my sister, she was asleep. I don’t know why I went to my parents room…. but I did. She asked me what’s wrong, before I could say anything, my mom looked at my dad and asked if her heard that. I got scared, I knew something was going to happen.” Ana says as she slowly begins to rock back and forth and bit her nails, as this night replays in her head.

“ Ana?” Dr. Henson calls out as she sees how quiet she has become.

“ I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.” Ana says as she looks at her again.

“ Then we don’t have to. I see you have a job, as a waitress. Do you like it?” Dr. Henson asks as she begins to feel bad about the pain across Ana’s face. But it’s her job and she knows soon Ana has to get it out or it’ll kill her, like it slowly is now.

“ It’s ok, it pays rent. I’m not really a people person, but it’s fine.” Ana says as she sits back again.

“ Have you met anyone? Made some new friends?”

“ No.”

“ Does that bother you?” Dr. Henson asks.

“ No, I don’t need friends, they’ll just leave…like everyone else.” Ana explains as she feels her self slipping into a dark place again, a place she goes when it gets to hard to think and life in this world, she’s closes it out.

“ Are you mad at them for leaving you?” Dr. Henson asks as she wonders what Ana will say, how she’ll act.

“ Sometimes. But it wasn’t their fault.” Ana says as she begins to bit her nails again.

“ It wasn’t your fault either. Your session is over if you want to go.” Dr. Henson says as she sees how upset Ana gets when the subject of her family is brought up, but that’s understandable.

Ana just gets up and goes, not saying a word.

She heads back home, she doesn’t have to work today. She puts everything the doctor said, everything she felt, out of her mind. She feels if she doesn’t think about it too much, the pain won’t be as sharp.

“ Ana, you’re home. How was the doctors?” Jackie asks as Ana walks into the kitchen. She knows a little bit about Ana’s past, the doctors and the pills to help her sleep, the little she’s told her.

“ It was ok, nothing new.” Ana says as she sits at the kitchen table.

“ I wanted to tell you, my grandson Zack is coming to live with me here at the brownstone, he decided it was time to leave home. He should be here any minute. You too are about the same age, maybe you can show him around.” Jackie says as she washes the dishes. She hates to see Ana so alone, she wants her to get out, with people her age.

“ Are you trying to set me up?” Ana asks as she thinks about everything Jackie just said.

“ What would make you say that?” Jackie asks as she faces Ana.

“ I may be crazy but I’m not stupid.” Ana says, causing Jackie to laugh.

“ I’m not setting you up, I just want you to keep your opinions open.” Jackie says with a smile.

“ Ok, whatever.” Ana says, not really understanding what Jackie meant but that’s nothing new.

“ Oh, here he is now.” Jackie says with excitement as he watches a car pull into the drive way from the kitchen window. “ Stay there.” Jackie says as she rises her hands and opens the door, she knows how Ana tends to disappear when new people come to the house.

“ Yes, ma’am.” Ana says as she crosses her arms.

“ Give you’re grandmother a hug.” Jackie says as she hugs the tall figure in front of her. “ I want you to meet the girl I told you about that lives upstairs, Ana, Zack, Zack Ana.” Jackie says as Ana looks at Zack’s deep blue eyes, black shoulder length hair, tied in a pony tail.

“ Nice to meet you.” Zack says as he holds out his hand.

“ Hi.” Ana shyly says as they shake hands.

“ Let’s get you upstairs and in your room.” Jackie tells Zack.

“ Lead the way.” He says as he grabs his bags, then the two leave, leaving Ana sitting at the table.

“ Here’s your room.” Jackie says as she opens the door.

“ Who lives there?” Zack asks as he points to the room cross from his.

“ That’s Ana’s room, mine is downstairs. You be nice to her, Ana’s a sweet girl.” Jackie explains.

“ She looks like it.” Zack says as he puts his bags down.

“ You put your stuff away and stuff, I’m going to get dinner started.” Jackie says before she leaves.

Zack looks at the closed door in front of his and thinks “ Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.”

AN: I hope you liked this first chapter, I know if left you wondering about a lot of stuff, to find out what it all means, review so I can keep writing.

Thanks

Isabelle