|The Adventrues of Angry Bob and Killer Bob
Author: Angry Bob PM
Warning! Super-cheesy title! It will probably change soon, but oh well. It's a story about me'n my best friend living the high life of bank robbing. It's pretty fun, and we'll see how it goes, then, eh? PS. Go from Chapter Two to CH Four, because I goofedRated: Fiction K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,144 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 06-27-04 - Published: 02-15-04 - id: 1526842
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Our plan was simple, but it was enough to keep me awake those few nights, anxious over the details that I was sure wouldn't work. KB was still calm, not really talking much about it. But he did seem to snore a bit too loud to fool me . . .
I had been drilling for over an hour when KB said,
"Okay, next guard shift in fifteen seconds."
Wiping the sweat from my brow, I turned off the drill and rolled along the ground behind the corner and held my breath, waiting for KB's next time cue. While I waited, I calmed my buzzing nerves by brushing the metal scraps off my chest and neck. Their itch was driving me crazy.
"Okay, big fat guard leaving, skinny tall dude taking his place. He'll be out of visual range in thirty seconds."
Visual range? Okay, he is having way too much fun with this, I thought.
"Five . . . four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . one and a half . . . three . . . two . . . two and a quarter," KB stammered.
"What?" I whispered as loud as I dared. "What's going on?"
"It's okay. He's just stalling. Scratching his butt or something." My annoyance at him transferred to a metal shard stabbing my arm and I angrily brushed it away.
"Is he gone yet?" I asked, perturbed.
"Yeah, go ahead and drill again."
"Thank you," I muttered and rolled back along the ground to the hole I'd been drilling. After a few moments, I felt the tip break through the surface.
"Hey," I called. "We're in."
The plan was a bit complicated, but simple enough. While the guards patrolled the outer vault wall, we had weaseled our way into the inner wall and had begun drilling into the actual vault itself. I had volunteered to do most of the drilling, and most of the time I'd been silently cursing my best friend for letting me. After drilling out a large portion of the vault floor, we were going to steal as much cash as we wanted through our own personal trapdoor.
"Okay, next drop isn't due for another fifteen minutes. Let's make it quick."
"Yeah, whatever." I set the drill down next to me, then carefully pushed the drilled-out floor up to loosen it, the pulled it down, balancing the heavy weight above me. KB joined me and helped me settle the block of steel gently to the ground.
"Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" he asked, a bit breath taken after the excursion.
"It's just me," I said to him cheerfully and he grinned.
I slipped into the vault and nearly died of giddy happiness.
Since we needed a full seven minutes to make a clean getaway, we started working furiously. Skipping all the small stuff, I went straight for the big bills, the huge payoffs. I passed stacks of bills through the hole to KB, who packed them neatly into two bags and a briefcase.
"Okay, time's up," KB announced, looking at his watch. I grabbed a final pair of handfuls of Benny Franks and eased my way back through the hole, scratching myself on one of the protruding edges.
"Ow," I cried, annoyed. KB ignored me as he grabbed the money from me and made his way back towards the hall. I dragged the slab of metal over to its original place, and hoisted it up above me. Balancing the heavy weight on my knees and elbows, I propped it up with a cinder block we'd brought along for the occasion. It would serve to prevent anyone from following us through the vault, forcing them instead to take the long route around and below. Then I scurried along the ground to where KB was waiting.
"Here," he muttered, passing me a duffel bag. I slung it over my neck and shoulder and offered to take the other one, but he shook his head.
Fine. Let 'im carry it. I didn't care.
Just then, the alarms sounded, stopping my heart for a full thirty seconds. KB and I both looked at each other.
"Go!" we screamed in unison. A flash of common sense told me to grab the drill, then I was racing off behind Nick.
"Thirty-eight seconds until a guard reaches this hall," KB called out behind him.
"And it takes thirty to get to the end of it," I called back, an edge of panic in my voice.
But before we could reach the end of the hall, we could hear the telltale clomp of bank security dress shoes slapping the linoleum.
"Ladder!" I gasped to KB, nearly running into him. I threw the bulk of the duffle bag behind me and charged up the ladder as quietly as I could. I tugged open the trapdoor and rocketed myself through, then turned and grabbed the case full of money KB was holding out for me. KB quickly closed the door behind him, easing it shut so it wouldn't catch the attention of the guard rushing past.
"Only one guard," KB panted.
"They'll be a million more in about ten seconds." An ache was starting to form under my ribs.
"We can't get out this way," KB told me unnecessarily.
"We have to ditch the case," I told him. "Leave a false trail or something. It's too heavy." With only a fraction of a second's worth of hesitation, KB threw open the case and started stuffing bills into my bag. I ventured a peek out of our hiding place.
"Several more guards," I reported. "About seven I think. Looks like a manager, too. Not the one we met, though. We need to get going. They're gonna go after this place real quick."
"Okay," said KB, zipping his own bag shut. A glance told me more than half of the money remained in the case, but it wasn't worth risking. Besides, the bags would be slowing us down as heavy as they were already.
"We'll just leave it here," he said, referring to the case. I nodded, then cracked open the door. Everyone that had rushed under us before was now passing beneath us again, away from the vault. All except one.
"One guard's left. But they most likely got the hole open, so more dudes are probably right there," I whispered. I felt, rather than saw KB's nod. I opened the door wider and slipped quietly onto the ladder beneath me.
When we were both on the ground, we clung to the wall and made our way as quickly around the bend as possible. Another guard was standing post in the adjoining hall.
"When he turns, go," I whispered almost inaudibly. A few nerve-wracking moments passed before he finally glanced the other way, hearing the approach of the head manager, and we quickly slipped past without him knowing.
We were going to leave the same way we entered; through an abandoned sewage pipe left after the building had been renovated. The pipe lead into a real and very active sewer.
"Yuck. I hate it when you pick the entry ways," I complained as I climbed down the concrete tunnel on the metal ladder.
"No one's going to look in the sewers," he said irritably, not getting my joke.
"Are you kidding me? Have you seen Shawshank Redemption?" He declined any reply, so I kept grumbling. "We're going to stink like crazy. Sure, we have a million dollars but who's going to want stinky dollar bills? They're gonna know it was us. Just follow your nose to jail!" It was starting to become funny, as the adrenaline began to wear off and the realization of what had happened took over. "Y'know, we ought to have a nickname for ourselves. Maybe we'll be known as the Stinky Stealers. Or the Smelly, uh, Stealers." I heard him grunt a slight laughter in front of me as he picked his footing.
"The Sewage Swipers," he said finally. I laughed.
"Ew. The Nasty Nabbers. The Yucky Yuppies."
"The Gross Grabbers. The Dirty - "
"The Mutant Money Moochers!" I cried, laughing hard as we rounded a bend that opened to dry ground. My bag's strap had been upset during the chase and the weight was now cutting into my shoulder. KB had stopped at the corner, so I took it off and placed it next to me.
I thought he was trying to come up with a new name, or perhaps contemplating the ingenious of my last one, but when he didn't say anything, I asked him what was wrong.
"Look," he breathed, barely making a sound. I peered around the corner and froze. A gigantic German shepherd was standing at the opening, not thirty feet away.
He was mostly outside, still in the sunlight, but most of his head and huge paws were in the shadow, on the incline that marked the sewer's entrance. Three quarters of his head was pointed towards us.
"Police dog," I said in a strained voice. KB gave a slight nod. "That's the dog, where's the police?" He didn't answer, instead making slightly annoyed sound in his throat.
The dog took that moment to look straight at us. Once again my heart stopped for much longer than it should. We both held our breath, watching the dog, lift his nose, pull in a big sniff, pause, then sniff some more. He snorted. I would have warned him the sewage smell wasn't going to please him, but then he'd eat me. Or he'd watch KB beat me up for giving our position away. Then he'd eat me.
After poising there for what seemed like an eternity or three, the dog slowly lowered his head, but remained standing there, almost warily. Then I heard an officer's voice, from outside the sewer.
"Duke! Didja find anything in there, boy?"
The massive dog stood there for a moment, staring at us, then turned away to join the officer. I breathed.