A Moment of Clarity

You're not here, you're not here, you're not here. You're at home, alone, half-asleep, and seeing things. There's no gun in your hand. There's no dead body lying on the floor. You're not covered in blood. You're not screaming. You are not here.

What--?

Oh. Okay, okay, you're out of it now. Out of the dream. But where are you? You're not home, you're... someplace else. What time is it? Is there a clock in this room? No... the kitchen? There. 3:37? A.M. or P.M.? It's dark outside, gotta be A.M. Get ahold of yourself, you've just had an episode. Breathe. Deep in, deep out, slow and calm. Now, where are you? This place doesn't look very familiar. Not sure, everything lately's been pretty much a blur. What's the last thing you remember?

A car. Marie in a red dress. Music. An opera house? Hmm, didn't know you had any interest. Wait... that's right, you don't. Oh yeah, you're there for her, aren't you? Her and her red dress. God, she looks beautiful in that dress. Coming home. Hey, the door's open. That's strange. No, no, stay here, honey. I'll check upstairs. No lights on. The house is dead quiet...

A burst of noise! Like a cannon...

What's downstairs? Marie? Marie, are you alright? What the-- Who's this guy? Ow! You're falling down. Your legs... your legs, their broken. Your head... hurts... so much... No, focus, focus... Gotta get to a phone... Gotta... gotta call 911... Marie? Is that her? Her dress didn't seem so red before...

No, no, that's all wrong. A dream. It's all just a dream. You still don't know where you are... are you alone? What's this? A picture. Looks like a husband and wife. What're they doing there, fishing, right? They look really happy. ...You know them, don't you? ...Stan? Dan? That's it, Dan... and Amy? Yeah. You know Dan from work. Why are you at his apartment? Is he here? Asleep, probably. You just woke up. You just had that bad dream again. You should go back to sleep. ...This drawer is open a little. What's that inside? ...A gun? Odd place to keep one. It wasn't even locked in.

Something isn't right. Why are you at Dan's place so late? You just woke up in a chair, that can't mean you're a guest, can it? Can it? Do you usually sleep in chairs? Ah, who knows anymore? Everything's all meshed together. Can't remember saying good-night to Dan. Can't remember ever talking to Dan. So how do you know him? What's wrong with you? Wait, what's that you've got on? A doctor's labcoat? You're not a doctor, you're a photographer. You make money off of taking nature shots. Something isn't right. Hold on a minute... are you bleeding? You are. There's a gash on you're arm. Does it hurt? You can't feel much pain anymore.

What's that noise? A clicking sound. Someone's awake. Who? Dan? Not sure, go check. Be careful, something weird's going on.

The bathroom light is on, you can see it through the crack at the bottom of the door. Wait. Don't move, be quiet and stay absolutely still. You don't want to startle anyone... especially if you're not supposed to be here. ...Oh. Oh, your head. It's... it's spinning. Sit down. Sit down right here on the floor. Can't move. It's hard to breathe. The room is... fading. Everything's... fading...

Marie?

You're coming home from the opera. It wasn't horrible, just like she said. But she made the majority of it worthwhile, if not all of it. Her and that pretty red dress. She looks so happy. Her smile makes you feel so special, so perfect. Everything's so great with her. You're both tired. All you want to do is fall asleep in each other's arms. You're going on a trip up north tomorrow evening, taking pictures of the Canadian mountains. The car pulls in and the two of you get out, both wearing weary smiles. You gesture one another your affection and you don't notice something's wrong until you're at the door.

Hey, the door's open. That's strange.

You enter in quietly. She asks you if you forgot to lock or shut it. You don't think so. She looks worried. What if a burglar broke in? You tell her not to worry. The whole house is dark... didn't you leave some lights on, just for security's sake? You search the kitchen, it's fine. You search the living room, it's fine too. You look through the downstairs bathroom, the guestroom and the den, they're all empty and untouched. What about upstairs? Should we both go look? No, no, stay here, honey. I'll check upstairs. You take slow, tiny steps, hoping not to make too much noise. There's only a small creak or two as you ascend. The lights are off up here, too. Everything seems so dark. You're not used to that. The hair on the back your neck isn't sure what to do, but you're scared anyway. Something isn't right. Something...

A burst of noise! Like a cannon...

You call out in the darkness. Marie? Marie, are you alright? You look back upstairs to search for the light switch. There's someone infront of you! He's wearing black and his face is hidden under a mask. Before you can react, he pushes you. Ow! You're falling down the flight of stairs. Your legs are being contorted, twisted out of their proper place. You feel a snap in them as you hit the floor. Your head hits the hardwood with a loud smack and you feel dizzy for a while. It hurts so much. No, no, you've got to focus, you've got to stay awake. Get up, limp over to the phone. Call 911. You're almost there, God it hurts so bad, but you're almost there. Dial. 9-1-...

Marie? Is that her? She's lying on the floor near you. She looks like she's asleep. Did she just fall asleep here? Doesn't she know there's a robber in the house? Wait, that's odd. Her dress didn't seem so red before. You drop the phone and move to her. Honey, honey, are you okay? Honey, can you hear me? Wake up now, don't scare me like this. What's this by her leg? A gun. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no no no. No. You grab her like you're trying to hold her spirit in and you hug her and you weep and scream. Warm blood dribbles onto you and seeps through your clothes. She's not going to wake up. She's dead. Dead, dead, dead. Fucking robber. The fucking robber did this! Where is that bastard?

There's a loud shuffle. From the kitchen, two shadowed figures enter the room. They see you, holding her, staring at them, and they freak. One of them says to get out, to run, and follows his own advice. The other one stands there, unable to move, looking wholly destroyed. Behind his mask, he muffles something about never meaning to hurt anybody, that they only wanted some quick cash. He's sorry, he's so very, very sorry. Fuck him. You go for the gun by her leg. He sees you and tries to run but you pull the trigger before he reaches the kitchen door. He gasps in pain and crumbles onto the deck. You can see him breathing hard for a few moments and then... he stops. You drop the gun numbly, not even caring that you've killed the guy. Blood begins to seep onto your brow, your head is bleeding. Everything starts to get dizzy again. Eveything starts to fade. You lie down beside her and the last thing you see is that pretty red dress stained with blood.

You open you're eyes. It's all so bright. Where are you? Your eyes adjust and you realize you're in some white room. Your on a hospital bed. You rise up quickly and realize that you're hands are cuffed to the sides of the bed. Where are you? You look over on the other side of the room and see three people in white labcoats. What's going on? They ignore you. Two of them appear to be writing on notepads while the other talks. Another man in white, burly and unshaven, comes towards you and opens a tiny case. In the case is a needle and a vial. He fills the needles with the clear liquid in the vial and brings the sharp point towards you. What're you doing? Where am I? What's going on?! Calm down, he says, don't make this difficult.

You feel the needle stab into your neck. You thrash a little, but don't put up much to the man's meaty arms. The man puts away his needle into the case, nods at the three other people in white and leaves through a silver door. Why am I here? Why am I cuffed to this bed? You try to speak more, but you begin to feel funny. You feel light and feathery and very tired. You lie back down after a few moments and stare on as the head man talks.

"With the condition he has, he's a danger to others. It's best to keep him here longer, to see if we can rehabilitate him. Until then, he'll have to go through more psychoanalysis and the board has requested he be examined for possible brain surgery."

"Do you think he'll get better, John?"

"Hell, I don't know, Anne. The poor guy's escaped so many times that the rest of the doctors are getting sick of containing him. There's word that he might be handed over to the state for... well, you know... euthanasia."

"Why on earth would they do that? He's been through a traumatic experience; losing his wife, getting brain damage. I mean... why?"

"Didn't you hear? He followed Dr. Crawford home last night. The guy managed to get someone's labcoat and snuck out of the building. Then he hopped the fence--see the cut on his arm there? Must've gotten that from going over it--and just followed Crawford to his place. Yeah, he almost killed him when he was coming out of the bathroom. Found Dan's gun somehow and shot at him. Luckily, he missed."

"Oh my..."

"Yeah. Well, I guess we'll just have to keep trying. That's all we can do."

After that, you blackout.