A particular day at Wrigley field
I almost ran into a lamb
I tried my very best to yield
But I would have hit a man

I had to go to the station
To file my report
I ran into my buddy Jason
Who was rather short.

I asked to use the bathroom
And what to my surprise
I was greeted with this horrible fume
Coming from inside.

I opened the door
And what did ii see
A great big male whore
Starring back at me!

He looked at me with question
Like what should I do
"Give me a moment please
I'll get back to you."

A few minutes later
I knocked on the door
To find not one but two
Man eating slores

How they multiplied
I do not know
But they're in a bathroom
And wanted to do a private show

They invited me in
To sit on the floor
And watch them dance
As little skank whores.

Out came a noise
From one of the shemens rump
As both of them
Began to hump

Such a horrible sight
I got from the show
It gave me such a fright
That I had to go

I kicked them out of the bathroom
For it was an emergency
Then came a tornado
With much turbulencey

Crap was flying everywhere
Even into my eye
The toilet fell upon me
I thought that I would die.

I had a tough battle
Then laid there in defeat
I wanted to cry
Cuz I couldn't stand the smell of my feet

Along came the shemen
Running to my aide
Holding nothing but
A BIG band aide

They picked the toilet off of me
Scraping off all the poop
And the way they did it
Just drove me for a loop

So that was my tale
'My Adventures with the Toilet'
That's all I'm gonna tell you
Cuz I don't wanna spoil it!