Musings of a Cancerian

Here is the mindplace without distractions
Galaxy outside my window is mine alone
I see you waiting for me inside my castle
In me rises a great epic need
I move to you -- embrace you --

But there are fireworks and rockets yet to go off
Before you at last take me
And take me beyond pleasure
And take you with me
You occupy such a place in my mind life and heart
That you cross the line from
(a dream lover living in reality)
to my dreams, unsecret fantasies

because you've opened me up so easily
(now, dear, it's a metaphor -- don't giggle)
and found my lusts
(for you)
and desires
(also for you, as if anything had changed in that last heartbeat)
with the simple, unaffected ease
of a man who knows he can breach the fortress
of a bra clasp with two fingers and five seconds
and a widening smirk
(that makes my heart cry I love you)
Chance or Fate... it's neither really, it's The Lady
(you know of whom I speak, is it not appropriate?)
who rolled the dice for us and moved our playing pieces
to a place where we could find each other.

(I treasure your love/I never wanna lose it/You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt/And I know you've got the scars to prove it)

and now I find you in my dreams
(sweet dreams are made of Danny)
those reality-teetering curiosities of wildly firing neurons
and sometimes you're being serious
and sometimes you're being silly
and sometimes I have to roll my eyes as you Inch at me
but all the times you show me that you love me
and I show you that I love you.

I wear my heart on my sleeve,
although I'm sure you figured that out when
I said what we'd both known for some time.

I found out you were Capricorn and
I'm Cancerian.
Opposites attract.
(boy, do they ever)

You're teaching me a lot about myself
(with your voice and your hands and your mouth and your body)
that either I didn't know
or wasn't entirely sure of
I want to be able to pleasure you as much as you do me.
(I just want you full stop, there's the fact of it)
and I admire you for your mind as well as your body
(let's face it, they're both pretty damn fine)
because you always know what to say to make me feel special
...sometimes in The Voice...

I believe
that you came into my life at just the right time to
rescue me in a way
from the self-imposed hell I was living in.
You showed me that it was okay to be free
and this time when I leapt, eyes closed, and spread my wings
(my Seagull wings of pearl-white, cloud-grey)
I did not break in the wind, did not fall to the rocks
but was caught
and lifted up
and you still lift me up with your love every day.

(By the way, I think I've worked out one important thing:
the unique name for the colour of your eyes...
call me a freak but I think
they're the exact colour
....of dreams.)

If Éowyn is pale and cold and fair like a spring morning still clinging to winter's chill
then you are a sunrise in early summer
with the promise of a long lazy day and an endless pleasant night.

the world is floating away
the dreamspace mindplace
is calling to my insomniac brain
which is giving in to sleep at last
I cross the drawbridge to my castle
and you are here with me,

(For the souls of the departed and the renegades of love/You and me gotta be all we dreamed of/In the ruins of mischief through the ravages of time/You got a place in this world of mine)

part of my world, my precious
it's worth mentioning that even in dreams
when I see you
all I want to do is kiss you
and hold you close
and know you're there.

You're lovely and amazing and wonderful and I want to get this across to you.
I want you to understand that I started falling in love with you from the first time I met you
for your attitude and your sense of humour and your 1337 acting ski11z
for the weird tension I felt when we acted Carrot and Angua at that first rehearsal
(for the way I wanted to kiss you right then)
for everything everything everything between then and now.

but for now I'll go to bed
and see you in dreams

Mood: utterly mindfucked
Music: Waikiki -- "Love Is"
Date: 25/11/2003 (EARLY) 12:36 (or is that yesterday?
00:36 because Livejournal is on twenty four hour time

(the good fanauthor disclaims those lines of other people's work that do not belong to her, even outside of fandom. the first lyricline is Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through by Meat Loaf; the second is Suicide Alley by Shawn Colvin. this is a song that is not as depressing as the title would suggest.)

(I disclaim
therefore
I am.
MURR)

Copyright Lauren E. Burge