It seems to me that since the formation of America, we have lost some of our core values. I'm not talking about religion, or manners, or any other such thing. I'm talking about what helped found this country. I'm talking about the very system that brought forth the true nature of human behavior. It isn't love, or even a respect for political icons. What we have lost is the barter system.
Seeing as I am promoting a sort of free trade system here, you could call me a communist, or a socialist, but you'd be off base. No, my friend, I'm a sexist. Of course, that hasn't shown itself yet in this paper, but keep reading and you'll be offended soon enough. If any of you women reading this don't like it, I have a suggestion: stop looking through the glass ceiling. It can't be good for your eyes. I mean, sure, it's there for looking through, but you don't really think we meant for you to have a chance to learn our secrets, do you?
Anyway, the barter system. I'm a capitalist. However, I do see that a pay for item system lacks in some respects, and I think that we as a people need to find a common ground between the two systems so that we can work to create a new world where barter is acceptable. There are certain forms of barter already, such as when a bank gives you a loan, you'll give them collateral, meaning you sign over everything you own so that when you can't pay back your loan they can laugh as they drive away in your car. But this small implementation is simply not enough!
At this point, and at previous points, probably when you opened this, you are wondering why. Why barter? Why trade when our capitalism obviously dominates the world? Well, for one, some people are just too poor to buy things. Perhaps they have something they could give you that you might use, and that way, you get something useful and they get what they need. I know this seems simple, but in reality, people won't just trade things regularly and that's why I'm wasting time writing this.
You may be wondering how. If you are wondering that, smack yourself for me, because I just explained it.
Now to the sexist part. I think the best showing of barter in the modern world is relationships. It may not seem like it, but it is. For example, a man will buy a woman a meal, in exchange to get to parade her around in public and make himself look like less of a loser. If this woman is beautiful, this is especially good for the man and dessert may be included. If the woman is ugly, parading her around is not enough. Sex must be involved.
Sex is the most powerful tool that women have at their disposal. But some of them don't realize this, because they're idiots. I laugh at them. Then I try to explain that no matter how you look at it, there will always be a greater number of men on earth desiring to have sex at any given time than there will be women. If you are a woman and you disagree, you're wrong. It's just that way.
Seeing as there are more men who want sex, but the women control it, this creates an obvious power for women. For example: little Jenny is failing her math class. Jenny's math teacher is a nice guy, and despite all his efforts to help Jenny (calling her a failure) she just can't pass math. Solution? Fuck him, Jenny! If any woman would fuck her teacher a couple times she would pass her class with relative ease. You may think this is not true, but men are really pretty damn easy to please, and thus easy to control. This also gains Jenny more than a good grade, because she can threaten to tell her teacher's superiors about the incident, and since anytime a man and a woman do anything sexual in this country, no matter who the instigator, the man can be convicted of rape, the girl can get him to do whatever she wants him to. It's really quite simple.
Now, some of you may be wondering what little Jenny should do if her teacher is a woman. She could either switch teachers, or, if no male teacher is available, she could sleep with someone above her math teacher's level and get him to change her grade. If none of these options are available, there is invariably someone who can hack the system and change the grade. All that matters is that Jenny is giving it out like a fucking skank and she won't fail.
Marriage is like barter heaven. People say that marriage is about "compromise," but that's not true, because compromise denotes that both sides are working together to take separate goals and turn them into one or a few common goals. Marriage does not work like that. Marriage works like this:

The Man Gives Up:

1. The Right To Look At Other Women
2. The Right To Think About Other Women
3. The Right To Know About Other Women
4. The Right To Go Out When He Wants
5. The Right To Go Where He Wants
6. The Right To Free Speech
7. The Right To Be Honest
8. The Right To Lie
9. The Right To Say Anything Between Honesty and Lying 10. The Right To An Opinion 11. The Right To Talk When Not Talked to 12. The Right To Watch TV 13. The Right To Sit Down 14. The Right To Make A Mess 15. The Right To Do ANYTHING Without Talking About It With His Wife For At
Least 2 Months 16. The Right To Half Of His Things

The Woman Gives Up:
1. Sex

To me, that list is a perfect example. This may not be as sexist as I thought because men are willing to give up all those things so they don't have to work so hard to get sex. To a man, it's worth it.
Some women may be saying that they have the children and blah blah blah. This is true, however, children aren't mandatory. These other things just happen, no matter who you are. Basically, marriage works.
And so, based on these reasons, mainly that marriage, as a barter system, works, I believe that the barter system should be more widely used in modern America. It could be sex, it could be food, it could be cars, it could be anything. But I think that we have all learned that when each party volunteers to make a tradeoff, they can eventually come to an agreement that will satisfy both of them and make everyone happy.
Oh, and to those of you who are wondering: for gay and lesbian marriages, put the more masculine of the pairing in the male column, and the feminine in the female column. It's just so simple.
Women, remember: the simple answer to the world is barter; why not just have sex, doing the work is harder.