5 Ways to Kill a Student

Dangerous drunken teacher driving,
There's no chance of you surviving,
Jazmin runs up and prods you in the eye,
This is the 1st way for you to die.

Lesson's over - French is finished,
Kids run down the stairs diminished,
Lucy trips one up to see them fly,
This is the 2nd way for you to die.

Construction site - torches blazing,
Children gather to watch - amazing!
A shove from Frances and a startled cry,
This is the 3rd way for you to die.

Next lesson's chemistry - bunsens flare,
"WARNING", "CORROSIVE", "PLEASE TAKE CARE",
Kathleen spikes a coke with magnesium, dry,
This is the 4th way for you to die.

What is it now? Oh, food tech,
Quick check the oven, are the scones wrecked?
A subtle nudge and he's trapped inside,
Well, i believe that that comes to 5.

These are just some of the dangers of modern school life,
That which is filled with homework and strife.
One final warning for you to abide,
If ever you see these children you best run and hide.