The Various Misadventures

Of

Kirikus Vargagargen

Prologue

A/N: Before you read this story, I would like to apologize for any problems that may occur due to reading this. This story comes from the twisted minds of me and my friend Jason. We made a movie and Jason’s dad taped over it so it occurred to me to write it in story form, which I do for so many of my stories (Okay, only one but work with me). While you are reading this imagine fake British accents and bad acting by some amateur actors then you will be seeing the horror that is Kirikus Vargagargen in movie form.

Enjoy (or at least try to)!

The First Adventure of Kirikus Vargagargen

Kirikus Vargagargen was practicing his guitar and trying to keep his fake buckteeth in his mouth when he got a call on his cell phone. He put down the guitar and answered the phone. The voice on the other side could only be heard by him. Kirikus nodded his head and said, “What? The Princess is in trouble? Yes, I will save her.” And like that, Kirikus Vargagargen was another British spy with buck teeth and a fake British accent.

Kirikus Vargagargen happened to live in the same castle as The Princess, however he did not know the way to her room where she slept, woke, and whatever else you do in a bedroom. So he followed the conveniently placed signs pointing to her room. He finally reached a door that looked much like The Princess’ door but with a sign on it, which read: This is not the door to The Princess’ room. It may resemble the door to The Princess’ room, but it is not. This is the Dungeon.

“Wait a tick. This is to keep people away from The Princess’ private room, I will go in,” With that said in his fake British accent, he opened the door and descended the stairs to the Dungeon, which he thought was the Princess’ room. He did not see the other part of the sign that said: If you think this is to keep people away from The Princess’ private room you are mistaken, this is the Dungeon. The Dungeon you moron! Why does no one believe me?

The first thing Kirikus Vargagargen noticed wrong was that he was walking down stairs which he thought was strange since a room for a princess would probably be up some stairs. The second thing wrong was it was dark. Maybe, he thought, this was in fact the dungeon. The final realization that it was not a room for a princess was there were bars.

Since he was down there, he thought he would look around. He had never been in the Dungeon. He soon found a prisoner who had handcuffs on and was on a hook in the ceiling. Then, Kirikus helped him down.

“Wow, it must have hurt being up there by your underwear, mate,” Kirikus said switching into a fake Australian accent for a moment, “They already had the handcuffs.”

“It did hurt,” the prisoner said in an American accent.

“Can you tell me where the princess’s room is?”

“It’s the room that says THE PRINCESS”

“Thanks, old chap,” with that Kirikus ran up from the dungeon looking for the princess. In addition, the prisoner escaped, but that is another story entirely.

Kirikus found the princess sitting on her bed crying, “My nail, my nail! I broke my nail!”

“What’s wrong?” Kirikus asked.

Again, the princess repeated, “My nail, my nail! I broke my nail!”

Kirikus took a coupon out of his pocket and gave it to her. He said, “Gerry’s Fingernails will fix that right up.”

“Thank you!” The Princess screamed in delight, then she hugged him and he left to go home and jam with his band.