I close my eyes and see your face

Just dreaming of you is a waste

Of time because dreams can’t come true

If you just sit around and rue

The day you were born and the way you live

How other people see you or how much you give

Without getting back or it being taken away

Being teased and tormented by what people say

I’m seeing things that aren’t real

All of this is just to much to deal with

Your brown eyes and peanut butter skin

I see every time I breathe and hear the voice within

Me as it speaks in riddles and rhymes

Confusing me just to pass the time

Even though I’m never really with you, all I see is you

I can’t close my eyes without imagining you

I’m through with hearing your voice when you’re not speaking

With feeling you touch me although you’re not really with me

With seeing your face even though you aren’t by my side

I’m sick of hallucinating although I’ve really tried

To keep myself away from your image in my mind

It always seems like your face holds me in a bind

If I do my best and fail, I can hear you laughing

If I do my worst and win, I can feel you watching

The sky turns purple and the clouds are cotton candy

Blood red flowers grow from the palm of my hand

I blow the flower petals and they fall to the sky like glitter

All my thoughts of you seem to bring only bitter

Memories of a life we never had together

Our feeling for each other change as often at the weather

The golden sun stands still in the open air

It makes me wonder why I even dare

Not to close my eyes and see you smile

I’ve kept my eyes open so it’s been a while

Since I felt and heard you scream

When you fall out of my dreams

To the ground far above your head

It makes me think I’m better off dead

Than to hear voice when you aren’t even speaking and

Feeling you touch me even though you’re never with me and

Seeing your face when you don’t want to see me

I’m banging my head against a brick wall

Maybe, eventually, this wall will fall

I’m stabbing myself in the back just for us

I thought our relationship was based on trust

Now that I’m standing between this world and that

I finally realize that you won’t come back

But no one wants to hear my side of the story

But why should it matter when gone is the glory

I just aside and watch time fly out my window

I stand in the road and wonder which way to go

It gets to the point where I just want to run away

And never think about the fact that I don’t know my way

Just keep running away from the tears and my fears

Even if it means I’ll be going a hundred years

Pictures of you in my mind are flooding me from the inside

I’m the flicker of the flame of the sea’s tide

Everything I pretend I hear you say to me

Every time I imagine you have your way with me

I feel a part of me slip away into the fog

All I can tell is that finding me again will be a job

Too tough for one like you to handle it

Don’t you dare look at me and say that I can’t handle shit

I can just feel my sanity running down the drain

It’s too much to take when it comes to all this pain

Light and dark, pain and pleasure, white and black

Society builds order through opposites to make up for its lack

In appreciation for those who are unique and the same

But I guess for something like that, I only have myself to blame

No one knows that I’m drowning in a pit of my own sorrow

I keep getting pulled down toward the point of no return

All of these illusions flashing before my eyes

Makes me wonder how it feels to die

I knew that imperfect humans wouldn’t be able to understand

At first glance, it seemed simple, but now I’m without a plan

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too lost to be saved

All my wounds and scars seem to cry for the grave

The people and dreams I see aren’t even really there

I’ve gone through this so much, so why should I care

I’ve got more questions than answers, more problems than solutions

My fears, my pain, my agony, my blood, my life is all to me pollution

To my spirit, my body, mind and soul

At least now, with my sadness, this blade will never dull

Just when I thought I was done with you

I close my eyes again and all I can do is deal

With hearing your voice when you aren’t even around

Feeling you touch me when you’re nowhere to be found

Seeing your face every time I’m feeling down

Somehow I think you’ve gotten beneath my skin

Even though I’ve been holding all my thoughts within

For all this time I’ve been hallucinating and never

Did anything about it because I thought you’d be here forever

I thought you’d always be here to

Speak to me in the quiet of the night

Hold my hand as you listen to my plight

But I guess I was wrong, these thoughts will always haunt me

But I will remember everything you taught me...