I ran my hands through my wet hair
Forced myself to let the water sting my face
I scald away the perfect day
So perfect that it hurts

I turned off the shower and stood there
Thinking
Freezing
Breathing

Then I was pulled back to reality with a sting
You're one of those things I don't need
But would I be the same without you
I never can be what I should

I could complain for hours
But it never seems to do any good

And none of my shoulders to cry on
Have been listening very much lately
Now my dry eyes pray for tears or sleep
But neither of those seem possible for me

Towel
Cold air
Through the hallway
In the room
I glance at the picture of me and you
And all I feel is sorry

When did the dream turn back into my life

"Almost" doesn't count for anything
And so I cry

I got past flying
Now there's just the fear of falling
I got past reaching for your hand
And now we're home

Where did Arizona go?

I'm empty like you'll never know

With all the hours in the day
And all the minutes that we waste
You'd think I'd see your face
But all I have is your voice
Without really knowing the story
All I have is dread and stress
Waking up in the morning

Calling you and hearing another girl
Saying you're in the other room
Were you fucking her
What should I do
Pray it was just your sister and call next weekend?

I cried in a hotel in Mobile
I stared into the mirror at my red eyes
I looked at myself and thought nothing
I looked and I thought and I didn't know exactly why
But I didn't care

I layed on the bed
I said I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Over and over again
From my mouth to an empty room

On the bus ride home
I kept looking out the window and asking myself
Why I had to lose the things that meant the most
And I could feel the fire that keeps me alive
Become so small

If I talk to you
Will I know the truth
Please don't kill me with words
Please don't make me let it hurt

I got on a plane
I faced all my fears
Because I knew
You make me better

Because it's true
All that I've said

About amethysts and rubies
Neptune chasing the moon

All I ask
All I want
All I need when I hear your voice

Is to hear that you still want me
Holding on to you

finished February 14, 2004