~The End~

*Jeral, Gilbert's love-toy in other stories, saunters to the middle of the stage.*

Jeral: Due to the obedient, if lack of inspiring behavior of these characters, the Bloopers page was very weak... *looking down beyond his script* Very weak indeed. So I, the only brilliant character in the story...

Gilbert: Careful, Jeral. You have to come home some time.

Jeral: Besides the ever-enthusiastic Gilbert...

Gilbert: Thanks, babe.

Jeral: Have been asked to fill in the void. Having no actual role in the story Attaining Humanity, but in the second half which the author is currently refusing to write, I had a lot of time to decide how I would fill the gap. In the end, I decided on the means most entertaining for a gaggle of straight women and gay men...Lisette. Trot out the ladies.

Damon: I resent that!

Sebastian: Oh shut up and straighten that wig.

Gilbert: You know only one of us looks any good in these dresses?

Sebastian: I was about to compliment your dress as well Gil.

Gilbert: I wasn't talking about me, Bitch-boy.

Seb: I... I want to dispute that title but I really can find no evidence.

Jeral: Come on guys! You're ruining my show!

Sebastian: I'm not doing it... I've been humiliated enough... I don't...

Damon: Fine. I'll go first just to get this damned page over and done with so we can all move on with our fucking lives and the author can get her jollies and move onto the second half.

Gilbert: Amen to that. Go and get 'em, Tiger.

Damon: Jesus Christ...

Sebastian: Doesn't exist in our world. Go on, Damon.

*The curtains part and a Damon steps forward. A long light purple fur coat adorns his tall broad frame, a white ruffle fluffed near his unshaven face. Tomick, with black fur in curls trots out happier than the sullen man, with a matching purple bow about his neck and a thin girly leash connecting him to Damon's wrist. Tomick barks happily, while Damon flashes a fake and annoyed smile at the audience and does a little spin.*

Jeral: The Lovely Damon, looks every part the huntress in this ravishing coat dedicated with love and tenderness to Terra-Bookie. *Damon groans and begrudgingly models the coat* Behold the soft down at the neck and cuff of this darling ensemble and the matching bow about the carbuncles neck.

Damon: It's a dog.

Jeral: Shush up you. And show us that dazzling black dress!

Damon: It's too tight.

Jeral: That's not possible. I fitted every part to the author's fantasies. It has to fit perfect.

Damon: It makes me look fat...

Jeral: I did not spend three chapters sewing sequins on a dress so you could get out of modeling it with such a cliche'.

Damon: I'm not taking off this coat. *crosses his arms across his feathered chest defiantly.*

Jeral: *threatening, large eye bugging at the socket* Take off the coat.

Damon: *draws back and raises a hand* Okay.. Okay... I'll take off the coat.

Jeral: *claps his hands* Yay!

*begrudgingly removes the coats, slipping it into Jeral's arms, revealing a beautiful, if chesty black dress... with many lovely sequins.*

Jeral: Oh isn't he ravishing! He's just ravishing. And who said you look fat? Oh my,oh my, oh my, Oh My! *Jeral gapes turning him around* You're a big boy aren't you?

Sebastian: You'd better not be making any moves on him, Jeral.

Jeral: Oh yeah... and what are you gonna do about it? Turn my in to the head watcher.

Sebastian: How about sew your asshole shut?

Damon: Careful, He will too.

*Damon laughs and trots his dog stage left as Jeral places his hand over his bubble butt nervously.*

Jeral: heh...heh...I..I think it's time for Gilbert to make his dramatic entrance.

Gilbert: Oh joy...

*Gilbert emerges, smiling amiably and sauntering forward, looking smashing in a glittering red evening dress.*

Jeral: Oh Gilberry, did you hear that? Your smashing!

Gilbert: Course I am. *flourishes the red feathered boa and puffs lightly at the long cigarette* I'm... Gilbert.

Jeral: *giggling* Do I even want to know what you have on under that delicious dress?

Gilbert: You...* trips his fingers up the smaller man's chest. * will find out later.

*Jeral squeals with delight*

*Gilbert slides to stage right, stunning in his high heels.*

Jeral: *recovering* and now... the moment you've all been waiting for... Come on out Seb.

*curtain remains still*

Jeral: Seb?

Sebastian: There is no way in hell I am going to come onto that stage.

Jeral: Why not?

Sebastian: First of all because it's your show and instinctively I must resist making anything you do worthwhile.

Jeral: Ouch... That's not nice.

Damon: He's a horrible person, really.

Sebastian: Secondly, because I don't want to disprove Damon's utterly apropos remark. Thirdly, I've been embarrassed enough and the author promised me a shred of dignity which she has now forgotten, and fourthly... I'm in a dress!

Gilbert: Get in touch with the inner-princess, Seb and suck it up.

Sebastian: and Fifthly, because Gilbert is enjoying this far too much.

Gilbert: Oh come on. Be a sport, Seb.

Sebastian: I will not be a sport.

Damon: The rest of us did.

Sebastian: The rest of you are fools.

Jeral: Come on, Sebastian.

*Damon hands the leash to Jeral.* Hold this.

Jeral: Okay.

*Damon disappears behind the curtain*

Sebastian: Damon... What are you...No! Stop it! PUT ME DOWN! God damn you!

*the curtains part and Damon steps forward holding a beautiful little princess in his arms. Sebastian is pretty in pink, complete with a conical princess hat and veil and glass slippers. He grumbles looking out at the audience as Gilbert give a wolf whistle and Damon sets him down. He slouches, the ribbon about his waist drooping.*

Sebastian: I hate you all, so very much.

Jeral: Isn't he beautiful. *reaching out to him*

Sebastian: *raising a hand* Don't touch me, you terrifying excuse for a human being.

Jeral: But you look so cute. *pats him on the butt*

*Sebastian stumbled forward in his heels. Damon rushes forward to help him.*

Damon: Are you alright.

Sebastian: I'm never giving you sex again.

Gilbert: Oooh, Ice princess.

Sebastian: I am not... God damn it! God damn you all! God damn all you straight girl laughing at me from your computer screens!

*Slightly annoyed, Sebastian begins to throw off the princess dress, stripping down to a pair of little lacy panties.*

Jeral: Seb wears lace panties?

Gilbert: He never did while I was fucking him.

Damon: *smiling proudly* He's only shown them to me.

Sebastian: Well, now everyone who's read the story has seen them.

Damon: Yeah but only I've seen the bunny suit, *Sebastian blushes*, and the maid dress, and that mermaid thing, and the shower robe, and the...

Sebastian: If you ever want to see any of them again, I suggest you be quiet.

Jeral: I might have to borrow those sometime, Seb. Gil, likes role playing too. We should compare notes.

Sebastian: Would you like the needle to be animal bone or the one I'm about to pull out of your head?

*Damon stares longingly at Sebastian*

Damon: Shouldn't there be some kind of description about how good he looks in nothing but that red thong?

Sebastian: It's a thong! Lisette, it's a thong!

Gilbert: *craning neck into audience* I think the authors busy.

Jeral: Is she working on part two?

Sebastian: Not likely.

Damon: What's she doing?

Gilbert: Oh it's the review page!

Sebastian: I can't believe so many people actually go through this story.

Gilbert: They were all lead here because they read mine.

Jeral: Ours.

Gilbert: You only have two chapters.

Sebastian: That's out of six chapters. Percentage wise he was more valuable to your story than you were to this one.

Damon *Weeping* They're all so beautiful.

Gilbert *pulls his handkerchief from the bosom of his dress* There, there... It's all over now.

Damon: I'll miss it.

Sebastian: Pft.

Jeral: Boy, your pessimistic.

Sebastian: Type cast, sorry.

Jeral: You should look on the bright side of things. See the sunny side of the situation. You know cheer the hell up. Because you really look to killer in that thong to be grumpy.

Sebastian: If you are not raped by half the men in your life in part two of this story for all you just did to my self-esteem, I shall die a slow and tortuous death.

Jeral: Careful, she doesn't know how to end part two, just yet.

Damon: *still reading reviews* Hey, Seb. Who's side were you one?

*Sebastian shrugs carelessly*.

Gilbert: Yeah, you did kind of jump around a bit. No wonder it was so hard to follow.

Sebastian: You think it was hard for you? Imagine how hard it was for me to keep track of my motives.

*Gilbert and Damon nod appreciatively*

Jeral: I think you're just talented, Seb.

Sebastian: I think your just horny. Get you hand out of my underwear, little man or that big man is going to break you.

Damon: Actually I find it quiet erotic.

Gilbert: I think our bitches should get together sometime.

Sebastian: You two are evil.

Jeral: I think it's a great idea.

Sebastian: I have too many issues to continue this right now...

*Damon and Gilbert ogle him as he leaves*

Damon: I really think I have to follow that ass where ever it's going.

Gilbert: Doesn't sound like a bad idea.

*Sebastian glances over his shoulder and grins, seductively. Damon and Gilbert run.*

Jeral: Damn it... But I've got to thank the reviewers... oh shit.

*looks after the promise of an orgy* Thanks too all the reviewers who got to this page. I hope it was worth your while. Stay tuned for part two... and um... read the one with Gilbert.

Sebastian: *moans far off stage* Oh god... No one's done that in a long time...

Jeral: *bites his lip* Got to go.... bye!