Thanks for the reviews, you wonderful people! Hope you’re not too mad I’m starting another story. Btw, I’m thinking of the next chapter for Candles and Kohl.

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School.

Damn school. It used to be fun with H hanging around but now? What the fuck am I doing here?!

H and I are in the same class together. Kieran pops in for science but otherwise, it was just the two of us. Calin is only sixteen so he’s in a lower grade.

So now, I’m just alone in the back row and mentally bitching about what a motherfucking hell this school is. I could skip class, yes.

Yes.

Bell rings, I’m out. I just take a shortcut to my locker and get some of my shit from there first.

Just as I’m about to open my locker door, someone pushes me into it. I’m already turning around to cuss the shit out of the fucker when I hear a loud:

- Hey faggot, watch where you’re going!

This remark is, of course, addressed to Calin, who I can see walking down the hallway.

Why ‘of course’? Well.. Calin has about a million rumours running wild about him and one of them is his being gay. Others include his burning the school flag –although that was actually H’s and my doing, nevermind why, having an affair with one of the maths teachers, having a cock ring and nipple piercings, being a Satan worshipper and fucking people behind the school gymnasium for money.

I won’t tell you which ones are true.

Calin looked at the guy before grabbing his crotch area.

- You can fucking suck my dick! He exclaimed, flicking him off before skipping towards me.

- Rude lil’punk, I mockingly say.

He shrugs and runs a hand through his messy spiked up hair. He leans against the lockers, playing with his eyebrow bar while I empty my messenger bag in my locker.

- Where be’s you going?

- Out of here. I can’t stand it.

- Want some company? Calin grins.

- Why not?

- Okay but you pay me a milkshake then. I’ve been dying to have one since this morning.

I smile and nod, turning my key in the lock.

- Oh no, the sentinel! Calin laughs as he points towards Kieran.

Kieran is the only one of us who doesn’t spend his entire time avoiding going to school. He says he doesn’t have as much imagination and can’t make up good enough excuses.

Come on, it’s so easy! Last year, Calin got away with two weeks because he said he had fucking jaundice. Don’t even ask about a doctor’s certificate or something, the boy has many tricks up his sleeves.

Well, anyway, Kieran tries to avoid our skipping all the time. He says it could bring academic issues in the future. Not that H, Calin and I have a lot to interest in the matter.

Kieran has incredibly good grades but personally, I’m a slacker and can’t be bothered to study.

Calin loses his homework and books all the time but never gets in trouble. He’s so smart, it never takes him a lot of time to complete assignments and when he does turn them in, he gets brilliant marks.

And H is never there. The only reason he’s still in school is because the school councillor thought it would kill all the scholar determination left in him if he got expelled.

What a laugh.

- Eloise?

- Yeah..?

- I’ve been calling you for ages, hunny girl, Kieran smirks.

- Oh, right. What’s up?

- The tardy bell just rang and you’re not skipping again.

- You’re not the one deciding, I reply, giving in to the irritation from last night.

Kieran swipes out an envelope from his inner coat pocket.

- I got another letter for you today.

- Well, you can go fuck yourself with it, Kieran.

He stares down at his feet then looks up with a hurt expression.

- Look, this isn’t my fault, El.

- I know it isn’t. But I don’t see why I can’t know where the fuck H is.

- He asked me to-

- I fucking know that! What’s all this bullshit about protecting me so I won’t go out to get him? I don’t think you realise how much I miss that H bastard and not knowing where he is, is fucking killing me!

- We be’s all worried, Calin said in a calm voice.

- Don’t be unfair, Eloise! Kieran angrily exclaimed. The fact I know where he is doesn’t help. I’m as worried as you are! Guess what, he isn’t staying at the same place anymore and right now, I’m not even sure he has somewhere he can sleep!

I bite my lip but continue glaring at Kieran. When he gets mad, you can almost feel thunder blasting down on you.

I feel my anger slow down to a stop when I see his trembling hands and the quivering of his chin. Regret washes over me.

I can be so selfish at times.

- I’m sorry, K.

- It’s alright. I.. Well, I think H is going to drive us crazy one of these days.

- Calin and I are skipping the end of the day. Do you want to come?

- No thanks, Kieran smiles. I have an English test. I’ll see you later.

- You can drop by anytime, you know that.

- Yeah.. I do. Take it anyway, he adds, giving me the envelope.

Calin tugs at my sleeve and leads me outside before we get caught in the halls. I follow him, absently watching the end of his pant legs brush against the pavement and flatten under his skate shoes.

- Want a smoke? Calin asks.

- Sure.. Thanks.

He lights it for me then passes it my way. I breathe in as if it could kill me instantly.

Tough luck, I’ll have cancer at best.

Calin glances awkwardly at my right hand holding limply the letter then up at my face again. It would’ve innerved me if I weren’t feeling so distant from any kind of emotion.

- What?

- Aren’t you going to read it?

- Not now.. I’d like to go to the movies, Calin.

- Um. Sure. We can do that.

Watching a movie at the cinema in the middle of the morning is one of the things I like the best. It’s peaceful and the films have another impact, a bit like when you watch television at night. Anything could be airing, you can watch it because it’s just you, the screen and silence.

We seat ourselves in the quasi empty theatre with a content sigh. Calin is already drinking his milkshake and throwing popcorn at the couple sitting two aisles ahead of us.

The boy gets pissed and turns around to yell at us but freezes when he sees Calin.

- Hey fucker, he waves. I thought you’d never stop shoving your tongue in that bimbo’s mouth and say hi.

- What are you doing here, faggot? The boy snarls.

I recognise him as one of Calin’s old friends. I know the guy practically begged Calin to fuck him at this one party last year. Now, he has denied all gay allegations and says Calin was the one after his ass but he’s a lying tosser. Everyone knows it except the dumb pricks who chose to believe Jeremy.

- Trying to watch a movie so if you’d stop the slurping sounds, I’ll maybe get to it.

- Don’t go all smartass on me, Calin.

Calin peers curiously at the girl sitting next to Jeremy. She has slipped down her seat and fiddles at her hair as if she were trying to hide herself.

- Fuck! He suddenly laughs, sitting up. If that be Jennifer, I’s fucking stoked!

- Yes, she’s my girlfriend so shut the fuck up!

Calin goes into hysterical laughter mode and I can quite understand why. Jennifer would be his ex and she spends practically all her free time stalking him.

- Don’t be mean, Cal, she mutters loudly enough for him to hear. I couldn’t wait forever for you.

- Not that I would’ve wanted you to, girl.

- Don’t insult Jennifer! Jeremy practically barked.

Calin shrugs and tosses his feet on the seat next to him.

- At least, she doesn’t look like a fucking freak.

Whoa, whoa. Is the guy staring at me in an implicated manner? In this stupid city, all it takes is to dress a certain way and you’re labelled. It’s quite amusing how hasty judgements are made.

I smile sweetly before flicking him off.

- We all know you like it up the ass, I say with an explicit gesture.

I guess the guy would’ve punched me if he had had the chance but Calin suddenly got pissed at the stale conversation we were having and pulled me outside.

We lit another cigarette and sat on the hood of my car. I took the crumbled envelope from my pocket and opened it.

And the world was fucking significant.
It made halos in your mind.
Ashtrays lay full of shrines.
To the dark angels above who smile.
And I forgot the things I used to know.
Fucking epileptic cancer of the brain.

Go Go Go.
It kills.

Sinking in like pasted strawberries.
It tastes like fucking abstract painting.
Eyes grow wider but the sight is smaller.

Grander.

Big cathedral-high landscapes.
Imagine the tales you made out
Of the puzzles in your head.
It creeps in slowly instead.
Stomach hurls but it's like the ocean at nite.
Masquerades and puppets.
Three million hands and no legs.

H. 4.41am.

- What did he say, El?

I sigh and hand him the letter. Calin quickly skims it then starts sucking on his tongue ring with a worried expression.

We both know H has been taking pills again.