My Shattered Existence

Sprawled on the cold floor
the wish of night blaring
silent tears not felt
thank god, no more staring

darkness hangs gracefully
finally, peacefulness
with thoughts of my only miracle
no more worries that press

no need to tell
no one would understand
they all search for answers
to the wrong questions at hand

sitting, smiling across from me
is that miracle of mine
only mine, for always
I wish someplace other than my mind

His soul is dead
undisturbed and burried
unpleasantness runs through my head
for I was the one who carried

his secret stays locked in my heart
no one ever to hear it
for this sustains my sorrow
never to release or fear it

hold on to it tightly,
just never let go
those were his instructions
and to him I could never say no

I surrendered myself and so much more
my love, my everything
for this someone sacred
through my soul, his voice still rings

"My friend," he says
I? His friend? What's this?
If this is not dying then just tell me,
What is?

I'm dead inside, he's killed me
but how does one hate who they love?
and then they stole him from me
my friend, they took my dove

So now I lay here
cold and haunted, yet lonely
I had given up accompaniment
and now it's my last request

scattered belongings
remain to remind thee
of the pleasant life I once had
before He showed up to plague me

He made me forget to eat
so lying subconciously on the floor
disrupted only
by Death at my door...

Maybe I'll be burried next to you, my only....