Pain Goes With Death

by Katherine Chan

Introduction: A girl attending a private school finds herself in the middle of war. The invasion of her country isn't just for land, positioning or resources, but for something else. Something that every country in the world wants but only one tiny institution knows where it is, and they hold no allegiance to any government.

Chapter Title: White Lights, Gladiator Fights

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"Now who's a good little girl? We'll give you a lolly if you step into this machine!"

Walking forward.

Bright lights.

Pain.

Whiteness.

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I wake up, a grown child. With memories of a childhood that seem unreal, so long ago. I seem to remember living it, but it all seems so fast. Someone calls.

"Rihi!"

Unfamiliar. Unknown name. Then my mind says "That's your name. That was you mum, calling for you."

She walks into the room. A room I realise is filled with things that are what my mind calls mine.

"It's time to get up! You have to have breakfast with dad, so you can say goodbye when he goes to work."

What? Who is this woman? I don't look like her! Wait... A mirror hangs across from me. I see a face that is not mine. A face that is not even like mine. I raise a hand. The person in the mirror raises her hand.

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"Wait for me! I'm coming to the Computer Labs too!"

"Hurry up then! I have loads of assignments to do."

"Well, so do I."

"But you're smarter than me! You can do them AND play games at the same time."

"Whatever..."

My name is Jen. I used to be called by another name, but I changed it when I was younger, because it was stupid. A baby's name. Anyway, I'm 15, and I go to a private school. My friends from junior said I was going to a snob's school, but I didn't care. THEY were going to a school that seemed more of a vocational experience than educational.

I wouldn't say I'm popular at the school I'm going to, but at least I have a load of friends, not just in my grade, but also in other grades. One of my better friends, Nicole, says she's going to miss this year's 12th Grade the most when they leave. I have a load of friends in that grade, and I'll miss them loads too.

Anyway, enough about school. I'll tell you about my family. They're a great bunch, but you wouldn't exactly call us the Brady Bunch either. We have our ups and downs, but it's all good. You know how it is. I fight with sister, we fight with our parents, our parents might have the occasional argument between themselves... We aren't rich, but my sister and I managed to get into some really expensive schools by getting a bursaries and scholarships.

Ever since 3rd Grade, my friends have said I was really smart, but I get the feeling that I'm not as smart as a lot of other people. When I entered Junior High, I realized I was more right than wrong. I don't know why people still insist on calling me a genius though, even when I don't win any prizes at the end of year Achievement Nights.

Sometimes, I wish life wasn't so complicated. Even though I should be really happy, I'm just... depressed. There's no reason why, but... I feel empty. Can one have a mid-life crisis when you're 15?

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"We go ahead with the invasion?"

"Yes."

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It's another day at school. Last night, I dreamt of planes and parachutes and flashing lights, but I haven't seen a decent war movie in years. NO idea whatsoever where my sub-conscious dug THOSE images out of. I'll ask Marianne what it might mean.

We discovered that she makes a great listener, and can point out things in our dreams that we just didn't think of, so we've made her our Psychologist, Counsellor and Dream Interpreter. She doesn't really want to be called that, especially around teachers, but we still do.

Strange thing, but mum and dad seem a little tense today. They didn't argue or anything last night or this morning, so I don't know why... Ah well. It'll blow over by the afternoon. It always does.

[Upon Arrival At School]

It's an overcast day today, so I haven't really been able to see the planes that've been flying overhead. There's so many of them! I wonder what's happening. At least 10 flew over the city as I walked from the car to my locker. Maybe it's some kind practice run for the military or something.

I unpack my schoolbag, and take out my books. Every morning, I get my books for the first few sessions of the day, and then walk to the Computer Labs to research, do my assignments or play games. The only time I don't do that is if I have a private lesson with a teacher or if I have to look for something in the library.

Today is no different, and as I walk to the Labs, another twenty planes have gone by overhead.

Two of my 12th Grade friends, Liv and Petra are already in the labs, typing away at their many assignments. Or, in today's case, on the many forums and chat-rooms that computer geeks like us frequent. Not to mention online games.

We greet each other, chat a bit about the large planes travelling overhead, which they dismiss as there being more particles in the air (because of the clouds), so sound travels faster and further than normal, and therefore we are hearing planes that may be far, far away.

The computer room starts to fill up with people that have lots of work to do but couldn't be bothered getting to school earlier. Some try to kick us off our computers because we aren't doing any work, but we tell them that we were here first, that there are other computers elsewhere, and that we WERE doing work. Beta-testing games that is.

With our enhanced hearing, we hear a bang. Maybe it was a tyre blowing up. But then the ground beneath our feet gives the tiniest of tiniest shudders. Only people with extremely good senses feel it, and I'm one of them. Liv, Petra and I exchange glances. What could have done THAT?

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"Part 1 successful, sir. The Eastern Coast has been taken."

"Wonderful. Send the men in. Set up quarters close to the hospitals. We need to move in quick so we can fend off attacks by those pesky Europeans."

"Yes, sir!"

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How could this happen? Why would they invade us? We were in second period when they came rushing in, guns ready, safety off. Not to mention they were extremely trigger happy. We found THAT out when a bird came rushing past the window. BLAM, there went a bird.

We've all been ushered into the hall, and we haven't been told anything. A lot of the students and teachers got their mobile phones taken away, but some of us were smart enough not to put our hands in our pockets. They've given us food from the boarder's kitchen and the tuckshop, but it's definitely not enough. A load of us have food in our lockers, but they won't let us go to our lockers. Probably from fear that we've got some concealed weapon that'll vanquish all of them without risking any of the other students. No, it's to stop us from escaping. And maybe from seeing what's happening.

[Later...]

They've somehow managed to ship in a load of supplies. Probably on all those planes. There's sleeping bags, food, practically everything that you'd need if you ever went camping. Except we're in the middle of a city. Looks like we have to make the school our home.

We been these grey shirts and pants to wear. Also, we've been allowed to go to our lockers. My locker is quite near one of the exits, but there are soldiers in all the hallways and near all the exits. We got some food into our systems, and since we weren't given shoes, some of us changed into our sports shoes, which were a lot more comfortable than our normal school ones.

Will we be able to survive what is to come?

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"Sir! The Child is in the zone of capture! What should we do?"

"We can't get her out of there without her wanting to know why we 'saved' her... We can't kill her without freeing her first... And if we leave her in there she might free herself. The three set guardians can't get in without causing suspicion... DAMN! We're gonna have to wait. Maybe she won't free herself."

"Ooo-kay... then... What... whatever you say sir."

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"Liv! Petra! Are you two in this room too?"

"Jen! Yeah... Dunno what kind of selection process it is. If there is one at all. Maybe it's height based?"

"Dunno... Maybe."

"Who cares? It's not like it matters."

"Yeah... You guys have any ideas on what to do with all this time?"

"No... unless you have a pack of cards or something like that."

"Umm... yeah, actually I do. I brought them to school because we were gonna play something like Big 2 or something."

"Hey, Big 2! You can play?"

That was us, for a long, stressing week. A week after, we discovered why we'd been grouped into our rooms like we'd been.

"Australia will no longer be a country of fat, useless people! We will weed out those of you who are weak; only the strong will be left! You and the four other people in your room will battle against other groups of five. When five combatants are left in a battle, those five are a new team. The other five will be shot."

"Oh. my. God. I CANNOT believe it." What barbarian custom was THIS?!

"Nor can I, Jen. Nor can I. We'd better hope that those two other girls in our room can fight. At least us three have a level of competency."

"Yeah, but... there are loads of people who've done martial arts and I haven't. I wish I had."

"You would never have been able to, Jen. You said yourself that your parents didn't want you doing any."

"True..."

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The tournament began on Wednesday. We watched the scared fighters, no, girls, as they faced off others who may well have been friends. I watched as others shut their eyes as the soldiers shot the losers. Their faces of misery imprinted themselves into my mind, as did those of the survivors. Were we all going to be butchered like that?

Our first battle came near two in the early afternoon. Ever since we found out about the tournaments, we'd been training our muscles for fights.

On a gym mat, we stood, ready, opposite another group. A soldier blew a whistle, and my mind cleared. I watched myself leap forward, landing a punch on a girl, a kick on another. Liv and Petra on my right, fighting two of the other girls. The two on our team battled another; one is knocked out. A kick aimed at my head dodged, a fist thrust between the ribs of the attacker, a scream of pain. A warning yell, I duck, a punch from behind sails overhead. Legs kick out backward, take the girl down.

All over. We lost one of the original girls in our team, and gained one of the other. Liv and Petra are still standing.

All over. Blood on our hands. Hearts bleeding from the pain.

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The new girl wept that night. We screamed inside, as we rubbed our sore muscles in silence. We were told that we were winners, should be victorious in our glory. They told us this even as five girls were shot. Shot because they weren't strong enough. Because we were better.

If we'd lived in Roman times, this wouldn't have been strange. We were gladiators, in an era where fighting was wrong.

What do they want us to do? Do they want us to fight until there are none of us left?

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I watch Jen as she leans against her makeshift pillow. The light from a the setting sun shines through a window, and highlights her face. Liv is leaning out a window, watching the horizon. Hayley, the girl from the other team, lies in her sleeping bag, crying. Tess is staring into space, and I know that we are all in pain. In pain for the girls that we killed.

I know people will say that it was either them or me, but they don't know what it's like. They don't know what it's like to have indirectly killed someone. Someone who had a life like yours, but somewhere in all the differences... Wasn't like you.

Where is my family? Where are my brothers and sister? Where are my parents? Have they been killed in other tournaments? We'll never ever know.

We're all alone now. In the hall where we eat, the girls that have not fought yet stare at us and the other survivors. We've been marked. Fight us, and you will die. They seem to shrink back as we pass, fearing the power we hold. Yet they do not fear the ones who have caused all this. Is it because the soldiers will not shoot them unless they fight and lose?

What kind of world is it where children do not fear killers but fear others who once were friends?

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I watch the sun set, as the sobs of Hayley die away as she falls asleep, sent from one nightmare into another. Jen, Petra and Tess are just sitting there, staring into space. On the horizon, I see flames leap high into the air, as the invaders burn up buildings.

The clouds that have been gathering since early this morning have finally thickened, and it starts to rain, dousing out some of the fires. I duck my head back inside the room, and close the window until there is only a small gap, for air.

"I guess we've gotta be happy that we've got our own lives."

Jen snorts.

"Huh. I'd rather swap places with one of the losers."

"Why? I mean, you fought like you WANTED to keep living!"

"Shh...! She's sleeping... But yeah, why, Jen? Why fight?"

"Because... because I like to fight. Because my body wanted to fight, and it did."

"Well, then... then live for the people who didn't live. Live for them, and maybe you'll be able to forgive yourself oneday."

"Forgive myself?! Are you insane? If we were to ever be able to have a life again, it'd all be different! It'd be ages before we find our family if they are even alive, and then we'd have to create a country, an entire economy again! What would there be for us that'd warrant forgiving ourselves?!"

We have nothing to say to that. None of has an answer, because we believe her.

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Sooo... how do you like the first chapter? It goes from mystery to a normal life, to a war. All the way to a gladiator-style battle of children. So far, mystery, a bit of sci-fi maybe fantasy (you can't really change a person's body entirely through plastic surgery), and action. Coming up in later chapters, all these plus a lot more fantasy. Also some angst and maybe romance. OK, so the only characters that you know so far are girls. Who cares? Don't worry, there won't be any explicit content, I promise!

And also... if you think one of the characters is based on you, please, I've merely taken slivers of ideas from the real world. All else comes from my twisted imagination. And yeah, if you think that the character Jen is based on me, I will bash you on the head with a frying pan until you cannot remember anything. If you think that the character that is supposedly based on you really shouldn't fall in love with a character who you think is based on another person, SHUT UP! All the characters have entirely new personalities. So yeah, maybe a few similar hobbies, but THAT'S IT!

And don't you DARE think that because I'm writing this that I want to kill myself either.

Anyway... Signing off,

Kit-C

7|-|3 5|-|4|)0\/\/

K.3.|)

P.S. Coming UP: Why is someone worried that The Child will 'free herself'? Why does she NEED freeing? The past of Rihi, The Child. Also... the beginnings of Liv becoming worried for someone, but her mind doesn't want to know what her heart is telling her!