One day, I was reading stories on , and I happened across some guy who called himself The Great WiggaMofo. The story I was reading was called "The Flying Condom," and I'm not quite sure what it was about. So, seeing as he must be mentally ill, because this could not in ANYWAY be construed as funny, I decided to leave a review expressing my distaste.
"You sir," I worded wittily, "are not funny. Rather, you write pointless jabber and should not be allowed to post on the internet. Please remove yourself from this literary website!"
I figured that my incredible intelligence and proper grammar would force his abdication from being great but I was wrong! Moments later I received an e-mail that said, "Go fuck yourself." This was improper!
So, seeing as I hate everything he wrote, wished he was removed from fictionpress and the internet, and told him so, then received a note telling me to fuck myself, I decided my best course of action was to continue reading.
I next read an essay about cerebral aneurysms. This is where I was distraught because clearly, seeing as this person posted no sources or any source of any real information, he knew exactly what he was talking about! I immediately left a review explaining how glad I was to be receiving his knowledge.
Next I read The Return Of Bartering. This is absolutely despicable! How could a person think such things?!?!? I mean, clearly, it's not just a stupid fucking joke, no, it has to be real, because no person would EVER POST A JOKE ON THE INTERNET. THAT'S JUST NOT WHAT HAPPENS.
I think, fellow readers, that he hates all of us. We should all go fuck ourselves.