One day there was a man named Bert, but people knew him as Crispy Glover. People thought him strange, especially the local townsfolk, and the children who would often call him "Oh Mummy, There's That Peculiar Man Again! Eeek!". This was mainly due to the fact he wore checked tutus. And also carried bottles of wine. If that wasn't strange enough, he also wore huge heavy Doc Martens with steel-capped toes, and Mr Fussy socks pulled up to his pale skinny knees. He was a man of the world, at least he thought so.

Having a tendency for nocturnalism, it wasn't strange that he was out and about in the middle of the night. What was odd though, was the fact he was out and about at the 7-11 in town. This was unusual for him because he never carried any money with him.

The man at the counter was on the phone. If he had been listening, which he wasn't, he might have heard the man say in a worried voice, "Yes officer, in a checked tutu... yes a bottle of wine..."

Crispy went to the yoghurt section. He didn't like yoghurt but he liked to guess the fruit in it by looking at the container. Often it was very difficult to figure out what it was. Tonight was no exception. It looked purpley but like nothing from this world. He picked it up to examine it more closely. It was the last one of its type, so there was a hole in the shelf where it once stood. As Crispy examined it from every angle, something glimmering from the hole the yoghurt once stood caught his eye. He bent down closer to have a look. Looking down the hole he noticed way at the back a funny golden ring, twinkling in the fluorescent light. Absent-mindedly he put the yoghurt into the folds of his tutu and reached into the hole towards the ring. He picked up the ring, just as the door ding-donged for the next customer. He turned around abruptly, saw the counter guy pointing towards him then gasped as two burly police officers hurried in his direction. A moment of panic overtook him, and he laughed slightly, if not a little nervously.

At that moment, he slipped on the ring. The policeman were right at his nose, looking around in bewilderment. It appeared that they couldn't see him. He laughed slightly.

He decided to test that idea, by blowing in the ear of one of the policeman. The copper turned to his mate, saying, "Stop blowing in my ear, Pete." Pete said, "Wot? I didn't blow in ya ear, guv." Crispy decided to flick Pete in the nose. Pete turned to Mr Guv and said, "Guv, what was that for, then?" Mr Guv replied, "What was what then?" Crispy laughed slightly, if not a little softly.

His attention was waning tho, so picking up his bottle of wine, headed out the shop. The door ding-donged, and everyone inside stared as the door opened and closed by itself. Pete said, "Let's get some donuts while we're here."

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