Disclaimer: The poem’s mine, no one else’s. So don’t even think of stealing it.

Author’s Note: This is based on the feelings that I have for someone in my life. So this goes out to him – even though he doesn’t know it. And although I have to tell him what I feel to his face, it’s best if I do it in a letter. So here you go. Beware: Long poem ahead.

As I sit here writing this out

on a plain piece of paper –

it may seem that nothing special’s written out

To you it might not appear that way

Just a plain old piece of paper

with scribbles on it

and neatly folded where the red and blue lines

match up.

I’m honestly at a loss for words.

I don’t know what to say, what to write

on this dinky white piece of paper.

Should I write nonsense? Humor? A poem?

Thoughts fill my mind

always coming up with new questions

and other things to fill up a page.

What should I write to a person like you?

A bucktoothed nerdy bookworm

is all I am

I’m nothing special.

No, certainly not.

Why would you like me?

There’s plenty of other girls to choose from, all of them pretty

nice, smart and athletic.

What more could you ask for?

They are something

while I’m nothing.

Any sane boy, such as you, would be glad to

be with a girl like that

not some nerd outsider like me.

And I’m glad you see that,

even though I pretend to be glad

and you treat me as if I were invisible.

Besides, the very atrocious thought, let alone idea,

of us together, you and I,

is nothing but merely a fading dream that

I still clench desperately at

trying to grasp it, trying to make the dream real.

Sure, there’s nothing more that I want, other than 

seeing you happy

even when it’s not with me

and instead someone else.

Still it makes me wonder –

how an annoying smart person like you

would fit together with a geeky outcast like me.

Something worth wondering, isn’t it?

You, who lead such a carefree life

and do nothing except unknowingly, inadvertently torment me every single

day

with your presence

and the feelings you invoke within me –

go together with me,

the ugly outcast bookworm?

Me, who leads such a restricted and elegant life

a doctor’s daughter

and you, a police officer’s son who lives every day to the fullest?

How completely laughable.

How ludicrous.

There’s a chance of it happening though, us.

But I doubt it’ll happen. Especially now.

Maybe it’ll happen, but you don’t want it to happen.

Maybe I should stop this constant hoping,

that one day soon you’ll see me

and accept me the way I am.

Maybe it wasn’t meant to happen after all.

There’s no use trying to pretend anymore.

I realized something, and here I am, trying to write it out to you.

Courage fails me to write it.

So what’s the point of all this rambling, you ask.

Just get to the point. It’s not that hard.

It doesn’t take much time.

And what am I doing writing this to you for?

No matter how much I want to, I can’t write it out.

No matter how much I try, I can’t write it.

No matter how much I have to, I can’t.

What I’m feeling. My feelings for you.

Feelings that have long been

harbored in my heart

kept secret

waiting for the right time for me to express them

aloud.

Feelings that I have never stopped feeling.

Denial didn’t help. It only made me realize

what exactly I feel for you, how deep my feelings go.

You’re shaking your head in disbelief as you read this, I know,

but it’s the harsh truth. I mean every word.

And it won’t stop me from saying what I have to say.

I’ve thought about it for a long time, believe me;

I just can’t help the way I feel

nor stop what I’m feeling.

It’ll always be there.

And although you don’t want to know it,

I have to say it

even if my feelings aren’t acknowledged or

returned by you.

Something compels me to say it,

and although you have to know, I need to say this.

So forgive me, if you have a heart to

since I have no idea how to say this

yet I have to say it.

I don’t care about your reaction, whatever it may be.

I just have to say this.

Before I summon the courage to, I have to ask you something

Something that I’ve been wondering for a while.

Your answer, whether it’d be harsh or not, will ease my mind.

If you decide not to answer, it’s perfectly fine with me.

Do you think of me as a somebody?

A person?

I’ll know your answer, if you give me one, whether it’d be a yes or a no.

Call it intuition, if you’d like.

Time’s running out,

and I have to lay my heart out on the table

ignoring the highly likely chance of being rejected.

Say to you what I’ve been feeling for the past five years

towards you

So now here I ask you, pencil trembling in hand as I write this, albeit shakily,

and awaiting your answer.

If you don’t have an answer, I won’t disturb you any longer

than I have already.

So here I ask, awaiting your reply –

Would you think of me as hopeless

since I’m in love with you?