Chapter 1

Dear Mother, 17 August In the year of our Lord 1211

It has begun. Father has begun throwing suitors at me, pressuring me to choose a husband. Of course it is all on his terms. He has selected a few, one of whom happens to be John Chamberlain, Duke of Mulberry, that he has deemed worthy enough to marry me. I find none of them appealing. Some of the men are pleasant enough that I could have acquaintances with, but not that I can see having a marriage with. Despite what Father thinks, I still think love is a must when marrying, at least for me it is. Father wonders where I get these sentiments from, but I can’t tell him. I get them from Beth, my old maidservant. She moved to Scotland to be with the man she loved and even though I was so young when it happened, it is fresh in my mind. That is the reason I can settle for nothing less. I wish you were here with me, then maybe I would not have to deal with this. However, I shall be the good little princess and do as I am told for appearance’s sake. What Father doesn’t know though is that even if I do look as though I am submitting to his will, I am secretly planning a way out of it. I just do not have a plan right now, but I will soon as my Maker decides to reveal it to me. I must go now; I hear someone coming. I will write again soon.

Your loving daughter,
Cassara

I carefully hid my diary underneath my bed and placed my quill back onto my night stand. I stood and quickly examined my appearance in the mirror. Smoothing my dress and tucking stray chocolate brown hairs behind my ears, I heard the knock at the door. I unbolted and opened the door to see a servant standing there.

He bowed. “Dinner awaits you, Your Highness.” He bowed once again and left.

I let out a small sigh and made my way to the hall where my father and some suitor were waiting. The only sound heard down the silent corridor was the echo of my footsteps. I idly slid my hand against the cold stone wall as I continued walking.

The corridor was cold with a slight draft, but that was how it had always been. The only light in the corridor was from the torches lit held against the wall. The shadows cast from the light made the corridor seem dark and evil. The castle in general always had an eerie feel to it and even though I had lived here all my life, I never really considered it home.

I descended the steps that led to the great hall where a roaring fire gave the room considerable heat that the other rooms in the castle lacked. A delicious aroma met my nose as I reached the door to the great hall. A delectable pheasant was the main course while I could also see potatoes, corn, bread, and goblets filled with wine. However, I felt my appetite escape me as I saw none other than John Chamberlain sitting to the left of my father, who sat at the head. I let out another sigh and approached the table straightening my back and walking as gracefully as I could.

“Father,” I curtsied. I turned to John Chamberlain. “Your Grace.”

“Your Highness, how lovely you look tonight. You have done wonders for my mood.” He smiled at me.

“You make me blush, Your Grace.”

“Ah, but what a lovely blush it is.” He was charming, all right. I have to give him that. But the bad feeling I got in my stomach whenever I was in the same room with him could not be ignored. He was handsome as well, with beautiful dark blonde hair that looked as soft as velvet. Not to mention those mesmerizing blue eyes. Oh, he was a catch, just not for me.

“My dear daughter,” my father, King David IV of England, began, “I have wonderful news for you.” I raised a brow in inquiry.

“His Grace, John Chamberlain, has just asked for your hand in marriage and I have granted him permission.” My jaw dropped in shock. What?! My father has just done what?! I wanted to yell at him in outrage. He had promised me that I would be able to discuss with him my choices. However, propriety stopped me from yelling out at him in front of guests. Actually, propriety stopped me from yelling at him at all. I would just have to voice my concerns later in private.

But in front of John Chamberlain, I just stammered my thanks at my father and His Grace.

“It is you I should be thanking,” John Chamberlain responded, “You have made me the happiest man upon God’s green earth. He shall smile upon our union.”

He sure seemed sincere about it, but I still could not shake that knot at the bottom of my stomach. I ate the rest of my dinner in silence while my father and John Chamberlain talked on about the marriage and why my father thought it was a good idea. My own thoughts consumed my mind and I barely heard a word of their conversation. Soon I was finished my meal and I knew the proper thing to do would be to sit there, seemingly perfectly content while the men carried on with their conversation and dismissed me. However, all I wanted to do was to go into my room and continue writing.

There was a pause in the conversation and I took the opportunity. “Excuse me, Father?”

He looked at me surprised that I would speak without being spoken to, but did not comment. “Yes?”

“May I be excused? My head aches a little bit and I wish to rest.” I lied.

He nodded. “Of course. Good night, my daughter.”

I went to get up when John Chamberlain stood and addressed my father, “Your Majesty, perhaps I could accompany Her Highness to her chambers?”

I patiently waited for my father to object for it was not very proper. After all we were both unwed and unchaperoned. It just wasn’t right!

“I think that is a lovely idea. John, we still have more to discuss to escort her to her chambers quickly.” My father said instead.

“Yes, Your Majesty.” John Chamberlain responded, linking his arm with mine. We made our up the stairs and down the corridor in silence. I was at a loss for words at the surprise my father had delivered at supper. I was no longer an unattached young woman. I was betrothed to a man I hardly knew anything about and one that gave me a not-so-good feeling. Only a few more steps and I shall be rid of him, I thought to myself. I shivered slightly when I felt him move a little closer to me.

“Are you cold?” He asked.

“No, Your Grace,” I answered.

“You can call me John and I would very much like to call you by your birth name.”

“That is not very proper, Your Grace.”

“We are betrothed now. Proper titles are not needed when we are alone.” “I was raised in propriety and I would appreciate it if you called me by my proper title, until we are married,” I added the last part reluctantly.

“As you wish, Your Highness,” he put extra emphasis on my title.

We continued in silence and I stared ahead into the corridor. I could feel his gaze upon me and I did not like it at all. The sound of my footsteps on the stone floor seemed to get louder and the corridor seemed to get longer and it seemed as if we would never get to my room. Then finally we had approached my door. It was time to say good night.

“Well, good night, sweetheart,” he said. He paused for a moment staring into my eyes as if searching for an answer. He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss onto my cheek. I could not believe his forwardness, but apparently he had no problem with it. He flashed me a charming smile and walked back down the hall. I bolted the door and collapsed down onto my bed. Life had just taken a dramatic turn tonight. I got my diary out from under my bed and began writing.

Dear Mother,

I am betrothed to John Chamberlain. Father announced it tonight at supper. I do not know what it is about him, but every time I see him I get this horrible feeling. I cannot explain it. I suppose I can get to know him a little better and see if my feelings are unfounded. Then I can decide where to go from there. One step at a time. It is time to retire. Good night.

Your loving daughter,
Cassara

I knew that my mother was no longer with me, but I liked to envision that she was just off somewhere relaxing. Thus, I pretended to write to her. It made me feel closer to her than I actually was. I had never really known her, for she had died during childbirth, but my old maidservant, Beth, used to tell me stories about her. She was the most beautiful queen England had ever seen, Beth told me, with long rich brown hair and intense green eyes the color of the grass. She was loving and caring and could not wait to have me. She could also read and write, a rare skill for any woman, which was the main reason I had learned.

My father never said much about her, only the offhand remarks when he would say that I resembled her in a particular way. I was never really sure if he loved her or not; but love matches are not common, so I doubted there were any feelings between my father and my mother. No, my inspiration for finding happiness and love in marriage was from my nursemaid, Beth. She had left my side when I was only a little girl, to live with her husband in the Scottish Highlands. I have no idea how they met or what happened, but she loved him and she was going to live with him. I wanted that. I did not want to live in this world of masks and lies where no one was really who they seemed to be. I wanted to be free and be who I was. I was convinced this was possible in the Scottish Highlands. And no matter what, I had vowed, I would take off my mask that was Cassara, Princess of England, betrothed to the Duke of Mulberry, and take a new one, whatever that may be.

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Author's Note: Yes, I'm back!! But I'm afraid I've lost a lot of readers just because I took so freakin' long. sad face So please come back and review and I'll give you a cookie. :)

Please let me know what you think about the story changes, that kinda stuff. I love feedback: good/bad! Thanks! -Ashlita