Patrick O'Leary G
My High School Life

Sitting on a park bench, staring onto the man made lake; he sat alone just watching the reflection of the soft summer sun, setting behind him. He sat there for nearly 10 minutes, a boy of 18, on that park bench, a look somewhere between content and sorrowful confusion. It was then that the blonde haired girl came and sat next to him. She asked with the innocence that only a young child could "hey mister, why so sad? Did you lose your mommy?" To this, the boy on the bench merely let out a slight chuckle, patted the girl on the head and said "yeah, I did, a long time ago, I lost my mom, and my dad, but worst of all I lost myself." With the same innocence as before, the little girl replied "well I found you, lets go find your mommy and daddy, when did u last see them?" she was repeating the words she had heard the many times she had lost her parents, the many times she was lost on her own, and she had the same intent to help someone else. But it was at this point the mother of the little girl came and took her away, "bye-bye mister, I hope you find your mommy and daddy soon" she said it with such heart, she really meant it. Her mother laughed, and carried the little girl away, leaving the boy alone.
I had been standing against a light post before this point, but upon hearing what he had to say, I gained an interest in this boys troubles. I approached him, extended hand "Hi! I'm Joe Flank." He took my hand firmly and said "Patrick O'Leary" our courtesies now exchanged, I asked him about why he told that girl he had lost his parents, I inquired what had happened. Surprisingly, he seemed quite ready to answer that question.
"It all goes back to about four years ago, maybe more, but its best to start there, I was a freshman in high school, I did freshman things; I couldn't talk to girls well, yet I tried, I couldn't play the drums that well, yet I tried, I couldn't really do anything, and yet I tried everything. But most of all, I rebelled, I began to argue with my folks, you know this and that, about curfew and such. Nothing that important," He looked at me with a pair of eyes showing his remembrance of the time, his recollection of joy and paused for a bit, I nodded for him to continue, and so he did. "Just a thing here or there that I found in my preadolescence unsuitable and too confining. I fought for anything and everything, I got nearly none of it, but the for the little I did get, I thought It was worth it. I spent my first year doing nothing but that, mostly testing the waters, typical teen stuff."
Again he paused, he shook his head, showing his detest for that time. "I acted like a fool," not waiting for a cue from me to keep going, "I just did what I wanted and tried to make them see me as an adult, I should have seen the rift growing but I was blind, the child I was.I am, I didn't see it." I interrupted briefly, confused "rift?" "Sorry, I'll continue, you see, I took all this time, distancing myself from them, giving myself more room to work with, and I kept on going into my sophomore year, it was almost the same kind of thing, but the gap kept getting wider and wider. I got my first girlfriend, I told my mom as soon as I got home, but she didn't give me the reaction I had hoped for, she kind of just said that's nice, even when she met her for the first time, she was just happy, nothing more." Shaking his head, I could tell he really didn't like this story, and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the rest of it, but I had bought my way in, and figured it would be rude to leave at that point. So I just patted his back and insinuated that he should keep going. "I held hands with her in the halls of my school, we kissed in the park after, we thought we were daring. It was different for us though, we didn't have the eye of my mother on us, but her aunt, taught in the school, she would always walk by and tell us to stop holding hands, 'no public displays of affection' she'd always say something like that or just PDA. It kind of made me happy, rebellion was in my mind then, feeling the boundaries again made me feel meaningful." His feelings reminded me of my own high school days, walking around just like James Dean, I hadn't thought about it but I suppose times haven't changed all that much anyway. "So she and I went out for a good 6 months, and then dragged on another 3 to make it 9, what a number, I'm not exactly sure who ended it, but it ended in the beginning of junior year, it just wasn't the same anymore. I started to feel empty, not liking my rebellion anymore, but still doing it, just because its all I knew, I had conformed to non-conformity, so I kept at it, any way I could. I broke my school's dress code, I wore sneakers, and a non-school sweater, I thought I was a real tough cookie." He let out a hollow chuckle and continued, "that year brought me some revelations, but nothing drastic enough to wake me up, I got another girl friend, and a bunch of new friends. I had a new crowd that I could bedazzle with my originality. Apparently they had seen it all before, I gave them nothing new, and they gave me a whole new set of problems, testing my straight edge. It was right about then that my second girlfriend gave me the boot. She tossed me like a Kleenex." he paused again longer than before, I didn't look at him for this, only at his shoes, a pair of checkered converse, blue and red obviously colored by hand, orange laces clashing horribly against the shoddy art. My eyes drifted up over his pants obviously handed down generations or bought second hand, he continued his story as I tried to read the pins haphazardly placed on his suspenders, "it took me months to get over her, I haven't gone out with a girl since, the whole relationship bothered me far too much." I chirped in "I understand what you mean, some girls just really get to you" looking strangely at me he kept going "yeah, I guess that's just the way it is, but I kept moving on with everything else, I kept on rebelling, against things I didn't care about, soon enough I had given in my straight edge and started drinking, things I had stood for in the past didn't matter anymore, I looked back and saw things I didn't like, I looked ahead, and saw the same, I looked at myself and was disgusted with who I was, but I didn't know how to change, it had been too long, and that is where I stand now, in my senior year of high school, displeased with everything, wanting out more than anything. I looked to my parents to help me through, but I realized, they are too far out of my life, I pushed them out too long ago, I asked for independence and I got it. Now that I am alone, I only wish I could go back, run into her womb, and feel comfort again. I made the same mistake as so many others, I ran away too fast, and I only want to go back again, but I'm stuck."
The park guard came over and told us it was time to lock up, the sun was well down, and the boy scratched his eyes, "thanks for listening mister, you didn't say much, but your silence spoke a thousand words." Actually, that's not what he said, that's what I had hoped he would say, unfortunately he merely left with a simple farewell, I shed a tear, and said a prayer, and thought, that one has a long life ahead of him.